The banana- the atheist's nightmare! (Chick related)

From (I’m afraid his frames won’t let me copy the right url, but it’s from the “Atheist test” tract.)

"Note that the banana:

Is shaped for human hand
Has non-slip surface
Has outward indicators of inward content:
Green-too early,
Yellow-just right,
Black-too late.
Has a tab for removal of wrapper
Is perforated on wrapper
Bio-degradable wrapper
Is shaped for human mouth
Has a point at top for ease of entry
Is pleasing to taste buds
Is curved towards the face to make eating process easy

To say that the banana happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can."

How do I know about this pseudo-Chick? I found a tract in the library. It was the shape, size, and content of a Chick tract (although I didn’t see anything about the Pope) but it has a glossy cover. Check it out yourself! (“Hey, brother- did you know that the word ‘copyright’ occurs nowhere in the Ten Commandments?”)

Rather amusingly, Mr. Comfort had a debate with an atheist named “Barrier.” One can’t help but wonder if he was chosen for his name…

Oh, and did I mention that Comfort has a tract on evolution? Did I even need to mention that Comfort has a tract on evolution? Is it stating the obvious to point out that Piltdown man is a key point in it?


I particularly love this piece of fantastic doublethink, from the evolution tract:

Convinced me!


Gad! They’re multiplying! Is it a Pod-Chick[sub]TM[/sub], or is Chick actually having <<shudder>> children?!

[sub]Run! Save youse selves! Wimmin an’ chilluns first…![/sub]

Of course, it strikes me that if you take it as axiomatic that humans were created, then it does seem bizarre to suggest that an object so well adapted to a human as a banana would have come about by chance. I mean - think of it! All those points Ben listed above! What are the chances?

However, once you remove that axiom…


Boy, this guy nailed it all, from the complete misunderstanding of the application of statistics, to the ubiquitous out-of-context quote from Darwin about the eye. If only he had thrown in Pascal’s Wager.

Actually, it sounds more like something that one might purchase at the adult novelty store.

Of course I was always told that people that in Central America consider yellow bananas as rotten. And my mom always waited for the bananas to get a little black to make bread out of them.

Of course, if you remove the human factor and look at the banana in its native enviroment, maybe it would be logical that the banana take its form through evolution.

However, if this disproves evolution, then where is the easy zip opener on my apple or orange? Why do cows need to be butchered? I should be able to just pop open the resealable bag and pull out some hamburger.

Following this logic, MRE’s are grown on trees on secret government run farms. It’s just that the evil conspiracy run government that is trying to sell the human race to Satan for a few bucks doesn’t want you to know this.

Hmm… interesting that Mr. Comfort should choose the banana as an example of God’s perfect creations. Especially since the banana, in its uncultivated form, is inedible.

Bananas were originally cultivated as a form of starch, and only through human intervention did the fruit of the banana become edible to humans. A good history of banana cultivation and its interaction with human history can be found here, at the website for the International Network for the Improvement of Banana and Plantain.

oh well, at least this guy seems to actually make covers for his drither; better for kindling. but i can’t help wondering…

how does that triangle thing work in his ‘best optical illusions’ tract? i’ve never come across that illusion before…

oh yes… this is the pit…


Fuck the Fundies. with Fruit. Forcefully. And Alliterate.

saephiroth, the triangle solution is that it isn’t really a triangle. The hypotenuse is curved, concave on the first figure and convex on the second. I’ve seen it before, and I’m not real fond of it myself.

You can see a diagram at the bottom of this page:

I guess I probably should have chosen a more… spiritual site to link to in this thread about religious tracts, but I’m feeling contrary today.

Whoops, sorry for the double post. It appears I misspoke. The side isn’t really curved, although it appears that way at first… I guess you’d have to see it. Anyway, it isn’t something you’d smack yourself for not realizing.

oh… thank you. i assumed it was something like a scraped edge or an indetectibly changed shape, but it is really hard to use a straightedge and compass on your monitor.

I’m just alarmed that there *exists an International Network for the Improvement of the Banana and Plantain.

Wow - cool. More shit to make fun of on GHF. Maybe this weekend I’ll do some write-ups.

To expand on what MrVisible said…

Original wild bananas are actually seed pods. They contain several large, hard, round seeds surrounded with a little pulp. Domesticated bananas are actually triploid (each cell has three copies of each gene, instead of two). Because of that, the seed cells fail during meiosis and die, leaving the pod free to fill up with nice tasty pulp.

Kind of ironic that bananas are useless as God created them, and it required human intervention to make them edible.

Hey - I’ll show off my knowledge whereever I can. :smiley:

link to atheist test.

I notice that the site has a link to some forums. Hmmm… how about I offer a dollar to anyone who…

OK, maybe that wouldn’t be a good idea. But I am interested in what that would be like.

When we’re done taking the Athiest test, do we have to check yes to receive Christ as our savior and send it back in? Will he send a missionary to my house? Would he send a young male missionary if I asked for one? Two? Would said young male missionary make me get on my knees and “repent my sins”? Make me get on my knees and do other things?
Oh. Sorry, got carried away there…

::fans self, and tries to gather composure::

My review of this site: Pathetic. Simply Awful. But it’s like a narrow-gauge train wreck - small and pitiful but I can’t stop looking.
Just fucking great - now I have two of these sites I can’t stay away from. Thanks a motherloving lot.

A few things jump out at me here. First of all, the link says

Does that include jaywalking? Seems a little excessive.

Maybe my knowledge of the Law of Averages is limited, but taking the example of the monkeys and the typewriters, wouldn’t it follow suit that, if you dropped oranges long enough, ten oranges would eventually fall by accident into ten rows of five? Or is that the Law of Diminishing Returns? Also, if the universe is supposed to be infinite, wouldn’t it also follow suit that this planet that we’re on IS the statistical monstrosity that Gallup made reference to? Of course, since this is the only known planet with life on it, the whole theory comes out of a completely skewed, biased perspective.

If you draw lines 1 inch apart and then drop a 1 inch needle, the probability that the needle will cross a line is 2/pi

And if you drop enough oranges for a long enough time, they’ll eventually fall into a pattern that looks just like a giant penis, complete with hairy bollocks.

So there you go.


No No No

Y’all are missing the point.

All of our genes didn’t come together as a result of random chance. Fate didn’t just throw a bunch of chromosomes together and we came out.

The fact that it all works isn’t proof of God’s existence, it’s proof that everything that DIDN’T work didn’t survive. So of course what made it through looks hugely complex and impressive. But that doesn’t mean it was planned.

It seems to me that the operator of the Web site in the OP must be a follower of the Pangloss school of optimism:


“It is demonstrable”, said he, “that things cannot be otherwise than as they are; for as all things have been created for some end, they must necessarily be created for the best end. Observe, for instance, the nose is formed for spectacles, therefore we wear spectacles. The legs are visibly designed for stockings, accordingly we wear stockings. Stones were made to be hewn and to construct castles, therefore My Lord has a magnificent castle; for the greatest baron in the province ought to be the best lodged. Swine were intended to be eaten, therefore we eat pork all the year round: and they, who assert that everything is right, do not express themselves correctly; they should say that everything is best.”