And, as usual, the list includes:
43. You
Charges: You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she’s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they’re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You’re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from “The View.” You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.
Exhibit A: You’re more upset by Miley Cyrus’s glamour shots than the fact that you are a grown adult who is upset about Miley Cyrus.
Sentence: Invaded and occupied by Canada; all military units busy overseas without enough fuel to get back.
Isn’t this already in MPSIMS?
I love the smell of cynicism in the morning.
I’m happy to say that none of that paragraph applies to me.
Try selling that to the Canadian occupation troops!
Sarah Palin, BTW, is #1 on the list. Obama is #50 .
Not to mention that **Chefguy **is in Alaska …
… you can *see *Canada from there!
What’s “Canada” and how would it/they cross the Specific Ocean to get here?
Liberal
January 14, 2009, 5:52pm
10
I can’t see anything from my house. Therefore, I know nothing.
Interesting take on Obama:
50. Barack Obama
Charges: Beyond a few token acts of bipartisan marketing, Barry’s major duty in the Senate was to avoid legislating, so he could pretend Washington-outsider status and nullify attacks on his non-existent policy positions. That’s the thing about Obama and his candidacy: He was a blank slate, the pinnacle of vapid public relations—onto which the benighted masses may project their sincerest, yet unfounded, hopes in the wake of the worst administration in history. Couldn’t disown Rev. Wright, until he suddenly could, and then marred his first moments as president ahead of time by inviting a pastor whose advice to gays is just to refrain from sex for life. Promised not to run for president, then did; vowed to take public election funds, then didn’t; backed telecom immunity, then accepted the nomination at the AT&T sponsored convention; expressed displeasure with Clinton’s hawkish foreign policy and vote for war in Iraq, then named her as Secretary of State. And despite all that, he’s plenty affable. There’s nothing more loathsome than a likable politician.
Exhibit A: “Yes we can” is the “Just do it” of politics.
Sentence: Presiding over the decline of an exhausted empire.
Say, when did he ever promise not to run for president?
The latest Vanity Fair includes *Farewell to All That: An Oral History of the Bush White House *. Look , it’s available online!
The illustrations include full-page, full-face portraits of various players; the smaller versions online don’t have the same impact. My first thought: Hey, cut this out & paste it onto cardboard. Add eyeholes & a string–ready for Halloween! Scary stuff.
I mean, there’s one for Karl Rove…
You’re right. I thought it was Clinton who said she wouldn’t run for President, then did. I don’t recall Obama ever saying he wouldn’t.
Do we get to pick which Canadian conquers us? Because I’m calling dibs on Elisha Cuthbert.
OK, guilty on getting a chubby whenever I fire a gun. How did they know that?
I have been reading the Beast for about 6 years. My son went to school in Buffalo. That is where it comes from. I like their snotty attitude.
Why would we need the military to repel a Canadian invasion? The boy scouts could do it.
Did I miss one? Why isn’t Ann Coulter on the list?
