The Best Pit Rants

What do you think are the best Pit rants ever? I mean the ones that are so great that you would give the rating higher than a 10? Or those so hilarious that your laughing could be heard on Pluto?

For me, it has to be:
This one.

I thought I broke something because I laughed so hard!

What say you?

This one.

And this was unintentionally hilarious.

My favourite pit rant was lost in our Winter of Lost Content. Fortunately and with great foresight it was preserved in Teemings Extra:

Breast Stroke by Nostradamus

Alas, many of our great and worthy Pit citizens are no longer on the board, for various reasons. Who can forget Byz, Satan, and all the other truly wonderful Pit ranters. While several still remain on the board, such as Diane and Hama, they have mellowed over the posting seasons. You would have to search back at least a couple of years to get the truly truly good ones. The OPs that would make you fall off your seat with tears in your eyes or unintentionally cover your monitor with whatever beverage of choice you happened to be enjoying at the time. “Sigh” those were the days.
Now you have ‘me too’ posts, ‘I hope this is Pit worthy’, ‘I Hate My (insert) Family, Ex, Children, Parents, Neighbors, etc.’ not truly outstanding Pit threads.

Hey Kathleen Parker, I got yer fuckin God right here!

Classic.

This thread about telemarketers really had me laughing. The writing was pure genius. The thread was started a year and a half ago, but was brought to my attention when someone recently ressurected it.

The SDMB is responsible for me laughing throughout most of the day and I’m pleased that I could return the favor Jurhael. Glad you liked it.

I never would have found the entertaining rants by the others linked here had you not started this thread. Good 'un.

I’ve linked to this one before, as I consider it a true classic. I don’t suppose bella would mind if I did it again…

An Ode to my Neighbor by belladonna.

This One

For me, it’s lno’s thread, My rage burns with the fire of a million suns. I laughed so hard when I read this that tears ran down my face. Don’t miss his follow-up posts later in the thread, on Jerry Lee Lewis and on White Castle.

Thanks, Lsura. I’d almost forgotten myself.

b.

I still send people the link to this thread.

It’s truly a howler…in every sense of the word.

Apparently the user was banned, but I thought the combination of the rant and all of the replies were pure gold. I was teary eyed and stumbling around my apartment in hysterics when I read this.

Nobody Should Ever Do That Shit!

I echo the sentiments of dwc1970 above. Another vote for ‘The Telemarketer Speaks, I Respond’. Had ‘classic’ written all over it as soon as it was hatched.

thanks Ferrous, you just made my day!

For some reason, I can’t get the search function to find the one thread I vaguely remember almost wetting myself to. I’ll keep looking…

bella

I am so sad I was out of town when this was posted. Fortunately Jello linked me to it when I got back. I laughed so hard at Enderw24’s response that I woke up my parents. Apparently the email Ringmaster sent everyone was quite funny too. Thanks interface2x for reminding me of Ringmaster.

This one ain’t bad either.

Sue Duhnym had a classic one. I smile when I hear someone say “duck lips”.

smugly polite Christian allows himself an annual SWEAR

Still makes me laugh! :smiley:

Shannybonanny, thanks for reminding me of that one. I loved that so much. I haven’t Ross around for a while, I hope he starts posting again soon.