The Biggest Douche in the Universe

There was a South Park episode a while back called “The Biggest Douche in the Universe,” that criticized John Edward (the “spiritual medium” from Crossing Over). I was wondering, who do you think should get the award for the Biggest Douche in the Universe? Why?

Oh God.

I’m counting the seconds before someone drags the current administration into this.

Yeah I guess that’s an obvious one. In my opinion douchery has a lot to do with a person’s intentions. All in all I think George W. Bush is trying to do what he feels is the right thing.
Just to clarify why I ask, I’m trying to think of an idea for a speech, in which I’m presenting someone with a “Biggest Douche in the Universe” award. I think John Edward is a good example, but since South Park already did it I wanted something a little more original. I’m just having trouble coming up with someone I have enough scorn for.
I’m more interested in John Edward-type people than political people, but whoever you want to nominate feel free!

That guy who sells health books on informercials that look like interviews. Trudeau?

Kevin Trudeau

He’s the guy who dodges the law, pays fines, and continues to advertise books containing fake cures.

He dupes morons, which I can understand, but he’s just so…smug.

DanBlather and I think the same! Great Simulpost!

Rush Limbaugh by a landslide.

Fred Phelps. Or however the fuck that’s spelled, because I don’t care to look it up.

I’m not gay, nor do I follow what this douchebag is doing from day to day. Never looked at their site, never looked at any anti sites. Don’t. Want. To. Know.

Just from what he does that makes the general media, he wins. He’s one of the rare individuals in all of History who you (ok, I) desperately wish God would come down and bitchslap on world TV.

In Boston, the Toucher and Rich radio show (104.1) is running brackets for the biggest douche in America. The early results are in the link below. An early favorite is “Mystery” who teaches guys how to dress up in outlandish ways and behave in a way to pick up hot women in bars.

Before we go any further, a douche is different than an asshole or a regular dick. A douche has to be completely self-absorbed with an unrealistic sense of entitlement that also throws himself into the public eye intentionally based on these beliefs. They tend to have lots of bling, a big focus on women, and a tendency to force attention on themselves whenever possible. George Bush doesn’t qualify and neither does Rush Limbaugh.

Here are the brackets:

I’d answer this question but I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.

Seriously, this guy wins. If there were other universes, this guy would beat everybody from every other universe too.

Hulk Hogans kid deserves a mention. His dad got famous for pretending to beat people up and the kid grew up with a sense of entitlement. He got in an accident driving like crazy and showed almost no remorse for his friend who was in the car.
John Edwards deserves it. He and people who pretend to talk to the dead and converse with animals are charlatans. They should be tarred and feathered.

That is a good example of an Olympic caliber Douche. However, don’t think that there are not others. I am going to have to look for it but there is are recorded voice-mails from a super-douche who is supposedly a single psychiatrist that sounds oddly similar to yours. I think he is from Canada but I will try to find it. I hate to think that there are multiples out there.

I love the part where he’s talking to a girl on and brags about being an “8.9 on Hot or Not.”
Lots of good suggestions in here, Fred Phelps, Kevin Trudeau and John Edward definitely need to at least be mentioned.

Here is a world class contender (audio):

What’s the female equivalent of a douche? Douchette?

My vote goes to any Real World castmember.

Got my vote.

That’s hilarious. Only the left column of his acting resumé is actual acting work. The other two columns are just things done near actors: bullshit that he thinks makes him look important but in fact brands him as a rank amateur. Not to mention that the “scenes” section reveals that most of the left-column “roles” are just background work. Protip: Don’t list stand-in or background work on your acting resumé as they involve no acting. If by “casting associate” you mean “reader”, don’t list that either.

Oh, and he also lists: Dr. Phil Show - “Male Egos - Out of Control”. Heh.

This is a description of Gene Simmons.

One more vote for Rush Limbaugh.

My current favorite contender for the title is so-called “beach bum” Ty Coughlin. He’s featured on radio ads hawking some sort of internet-based get rich quick scheme.

The most recent ad I heard featured the same actor with a slightly modified voice listening to a previous ad and saying that he was skeptical at first but that the system really works!! Also, he’s met Ty in person, and he’s pretty cool.

Did I mention that it’s the** same freakin’ guy**?