Resemblance to any person living or dead, in the portrayal of anyone other than The Black Hole of Information is purely coincidental.
The Characters
The Black Hole of Information (BH)
Ms. Bigwig (MB)
and of course, our heroHeroic Employee (HE)
Act 1: The Request
BH: We are preparing for this Major Project. These are the areas we have to work on. I will work on these areas, and you can work on these other areas. This is due in two weeks and will culminate in a report to the Board of Directors. Gather the necessary information. My areas are Very Important, as are yours.
HE: Sounds good. Do you have any information on these areas already or will I be starting with a blank piece of paper?
BH: There hasn’t been anything done on these yet. Talk to whoever is necessary to gather what you need.
HE: Fantastic! I’ll get right to work on this and keep you updated as to my progress. Oh, is there any crossover between the areas that might lead to us gathering the same information?
BH, no, not at all. If there is, I’ll let you know.
Act 2: The Gathering
HE (on telephone): Hello, Ms. Bigwig. I am working on aspect 2 of Major Project and I wanted to find out if you have had a chance to gather any information based on my e-mail of two days ago.
MB: I provided that informaiton to BH Two weeks ago. In fact, I used an Entire Afternoon of my Busy Schedule to prepare the document and support I sent to him. I’m a little concerned about the organization of That Department. This is the second time in Two Months I have had information requested from me more than once. In fact, this is a waste of Company Funds, since I must fax this to you long distance. I think I need to speak to your Department Head.
HE I am terribly sorry about the inconvenience, MB. I will check with BH. Thank you so much for your time. Our Department always appreciates your help.
Act 3: The Confrontation
HE: Excuse me, BH? Do you have any information about MB’s area?
BH: No, I told you that I had not done any work on Your Areas. Don’t expect me to do Your Work!
HE: I have been doing My Work, but I spoke with MB and she indicated that some information was faxed to you two weeks ago regarding one of the areas I am working on. MB was a little upset because this had already been provided to you.
BH: Oh, wait. I do have that. I requested it because I thought I would need it, but then I didn’t. I assumed you could get it again. After all, it’s not like it’s difficult for someone who works in That Department to do. It’s in this file marked Information on BH’s areas for Major Project.You could have just taken it.
HE (knowing the confrontation that would take place if anyone took information from BH’s Cubicle without permission): But I specifically asked you if you had any information when you asked me to work on these areas two days ago. You said no, you did not have anything. As MB’s area only applies to My Areas of Major Project, why didn’t you provide this information to me then?
BH: I just forgot. It wasn’t intentional (HA!). That’s the only one of Your Areas I asked for any information about. And only because you know How Long MB’s area takes to get us anything.
HE: Ok, I’m going back to work on this, but I need to know if you have any other information I need.
BH: No, none at all.
**Repeat scenes through all areas of Major Project, or until HE goes through all information, personal or not, in BH’s cubicle.
The End**
Author’s note:
Idiot.