No more wars between hostile countries and the west because we would own the fucking lot - including the USA, Australia, India, Pakistan - the whole shebang. We could even flatten those would be commie bastards the Russians, and the crazy mixed up Chinese.
No problems with oil, illegal imigrants, weapons of mass destruction, newspapers, democracy, stupid stupid religion, nothing. We would kill whoever, whenever and for whatever. Don’t like it? Tough shit we’ll do it anyway. Bomb the fucking lot and take it all, every bit, every fucking last morsel of whatever they have that we need.
What a wonderful world, bring back the British Empire and all problems would be sorted.
Just make sure we nuke the French before we begin…
By Jingo, I think this chappie’s onto something! How I long for the days when a rousing chorus of “God Save the Queen” and a little gunboat diplomacy was all we need to put the fear of Empire into the darkies. I say, call out the regiments and let’s go show Johnny Foreigner a bit of the old business, eh wot? We’ll be done by tea-time! And then we can put those bloody colonials in their place! Been getting a bit uppity lately, the treasonous little pikers.
So how’s the weather over there in the nineteenth century, anyway?
Feh. Remember who sailed up the Thames and whooped your arses, laddy.
I say we reinstate the Republic of the Seven United Netherlands, sail the seven seas, steal some spices and shit, colonise the living crap out of the darkies, and generally be all around swell guys who rule the world and seabattle anyone who disagrees, 'cause we have too little land to fight on.
Naaw… bring back the Empire of Og. Paleolithic dominion over the inhuman cretins Over the Yonder Hill and Those Frog-faced Geeks on the Western Islands. The freshly-blooded flint axe and the fire-hardened spear will protect divine right once again!
You know what empire we need to bring back? The Romans. Remember what happened to Carthage? It was burnt to the ground, and then they salted the earth so nothing would ever grow there again. That’s just the kind of resolve we need. Plus, they really knew how to party. None of that reserved Victorian crap.