The bugs are getting bigger

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I think there must be some radioactive waste nearby, because the bugs invading my apartment this year are much bigger than I’m used to. That or they’ve been in the garden drinking Miracle-Gro.

Ants are supposed to be tiny little brownish things. Or so they used to be. Now I have huge black ants, the length of my thumbnail, wandering the apartment floor. They make a terrible crunch when I stomp them. I keep this place very clean, so I’m not sure why they’re here… I’m on the third (top) floor of the apartment complex. Why climb so high?

And not only are the bugs bigger, I have new bugs. Last month I used half a can of Raid to kill a behemoth of a bug that had gotten into my bedroom. It was almost 2 inches long. It also had long bendy legs and huge antennae, making it even bigger. I tried to look online to find out what kind of insect I’d murdered, but my bugaphobia made it pretty tough to look at close-up bug pictures. I had nightmares for a week.

This morning, I found another Mystery Bug. After my shrieks of terror subsided, I somehow managed to trap it under a Tupperware container. The next step is to get it into a closed container, double-sealed with duct tape and superglue, and get it to the Insectarium so someone can tell me what it is.

But first I have to get near it again. And it’s BIG. And it’s moving under that Tupperware. :eek:

2

Ok, so I won’t talk about the dustmites in your pillow…

How about an exterminator? Better yet, tell the lanlord to get one! Tell him that the termites are getting bigger.

3

Well, it’s not as though the ants are marching ten by ten (hurrah) through my kitchen. I’m killing maybe three per week. I wouldn’t call it an infestation. It’s just that they’re almost big enough to start fighting back!

4

Those could be carpenter ants. Your landlord would really be interested in knowing about those. The way to tell is to listen to the walls at night when it’s quiet to see if you can hear the sounds of little tiny saws and hammers.
Seriously, if you listen to the walls at night you may be able to hear them chewing on the wood. Really! I had carpenter ants once. In my house, not on my person. Although when they drop out of the ceiling onto your back when you’re sleeping it can be stimulating, to say the least.

5

3 bugs or 1000 bugs, if they start pushing you around, you’ve gotta stand up for yourself.

6

Ok, now I’m going to have to buy a space suit to sleep in.

7

Um…

COCKROACH!!!