I should note that this story is meant to be metaphorical and semi-autobiographical. (like my friend Vivian’s “98 B-Line guy” experiences a couple years ago, ha ha… only she never talked to him)
That’s all I have to say… I don’t even think it’s well-written, myself. (definitely not the best thing ever written) I didn’t even know how to end it properly, although I have thought about how to write it for a few days. Heck, I’m not even sure the whole thing makes any sort of sense. But that’s what you get from my brain, I suppose.
Comments are welcome, by the way… or just pop in here to say you read it. 
THE BUS RIDE FRIENDSHIP
There was once a girl named Eleanor, who took the same bus route every weekday while going to and from school. As time went on, she noticed a particular handsome guy who also seemed to take that route to school. She thought about getting to know him, but knew she was too shy even to smile and say hi. It wasn’t because Eleanor thought he was unapproachable, but she’d get nervous trying to work up the nerve to establish direct contact with him.
One afternoon on the way back from school, Eleanor was surprised when the guy sat beside her. Since there were quite a few empty seats on the bus, she thought that he wanted to talk to her. That assumption was quickly confirmed when he turned to her, smiled, and introduced himself as Craig.
She smiled hesitantly and introduced herself, then blushed with pleasure when Craig said that her name was a pretty one. Craig privately thought that the blush made Eleanor look more attractive, but decided not to say anything in case it would embarrass her. To Eleanor’s great surprise, she found herself quickly warming to Craig.
Over the next few weeks, Craig and Eleanor slowly got to know each other. He gave her his phone number, email, address, and IM information; she reciprocated a few days later. They began exchanging phone calls, IMs, and emails almost every day… they even went to each other’s houses from time to time. (of course, they still saw each other on the bus)
After a few months, they both decided to take a break from IM’ing each other all the time. The two were concerned about wearing out their respective welcomes, and they didn’t want to get tired of each other. Craig and Eleanor also didn’t want to fight a whole lot, though they’d managed to resolve any disagreements amicably.
They still emailed each other every few days if there was something really important going on… and then there was the stretch of three weeks when Eleanor was out of town. Craig didn’t worry overmuch about her, as he knew she’d be away.
A few weeks after that, Craig noticed that Eleanor seemed to avoid him on IM… She’d still call / email him occasionally, and talk to him on the bus and at school sometimes. He could live with it, but there was still a niggling feeling of doubt. No matter how much she told him that she still cared for him as a good friend (and he believed her most of the time), he still wondered.
Craig took to waiting up nights to see if she’d get online, even after talking to her all day at school. (usually, she didn’t) He knew she needed some space, so he respected that by trying not to bug her too much otherwise. Other distractions helped, and Eleanor did pop on to say hi briefly at times. Craig was more or less content occasionally talking to some people on his IM lists, but it was somehow different with Eleanor. Not that he wanted to monopolize her time, or be possessive of her… but he’d grown happy with her, and wished to keep that happiness.
He was afraid he’d fallen in love with her, but found that not to be true upon some self-examination. Then he thought that she’d fallen in love with him, was too afraid to say so for fear she’d lose his friendship, and was avoiding the issue. Honestly, he didn’t know whether they were both avoiding some issues. But he tried training himself (to almost no avail) not to feel any hope of talking when she would pop online, or indeed any hope that she would even pop online at all)
Finally, Eleanor told him that she needed to talk. She insisted that there was nothing going on, even though Craig gently probed with questions. (he didn’t want to appear too needy or demanding) He believed her when she said that she simply needed some space, and that she wanted to take a break from IMs. Of course, she’d still talk to him or email him if need be. However, she simply needed some alone time on occasion. (therefore, she’d prefer the life of a hermit at those times)
That announcement sent Craig’s emotions roiling and spinning. He could deal with the fact that she wanted some alone time, but inadvertently found himself hardening his heart against her. That wasn’t what he wanted, but felt himself powerless to stop it. Craig still did care for Eleanor very much, told her so on occasion, and even wrote her a note starting: “Dear Eleanor sweetheart…” He got a reply back saying in part: “Craig, I am not your sweetheart! Please don’t call me that now, even though we’ve called each other that as friends many times in the past.” Craig was disappointed, but respected her wishes. (Eleanor felt things were moving too fast, even if they were just good friends)
Eventually, their online interaction dwindled to the very occasional IM session… maybe once a month instead of every day. They still called each other once a week, and went over to each other’s houses when they felt like it. (and saw each other every day, though they didn’t talk as often)
Craig wanted to believe Eleanor when she said that there was really nothing much going on in her life; most times, he did. But she seemed very busy, and perhaps didn’t want to talk to him as much. He tried to pretend it didn’t matter; after all, he was busy too. In his more reflective moments, he had to admit that it did. He tried telling himself that he still saw her during the day, but that didn’t help.
For her part, Eleanor didn’t want to ignore Craig completely. She did feel that he was perhaps a bit too persistent online; in real life, she had no real complaints about him. She’d occasionally put herself on away or invisible modes whenever he’d come online. She felt badly whenever she did that, but couldn’t tell him about it for some reason. Besides, she suspected that he was getting tired of her. (she was glad of the break on the very rare occasion, and thought he would be as well)
Eleanor found her feelings toward Craig were lessening, though she still cared about him. She didn’t know yet that Craig had felt that same way. They wouldn’t tell themselves that they no longer cared about the other (in fact, they both claimed to care very much), but they no longer counted on seeing each other online. They still looked forward to those bus rides, though.
During one of those bus rides, Craig told Eleanor that they had to talk later on that day. They met at her house, where he told her about his feelings. Eleanor listened to him, and tried reassuring her friend that she still liked him a lot. Even if they didn’t see each other line, they still would on the bus and in real life. It wasn’t the end of their friendship just because she didn’t happen to talk to him online. She told him about her true feelings, and Craig listened.
Craig thought he was the only one willing to put time into making the friendship work, but Eleanor’s sincere reassurances made him feel better. In between all her busyness, she would be there for him if need be. He would be there for her, and both of them knew it.
One year after Craig initially talked to Eleanor on the bus that day, the two of them shared a friendship that was open and honest. It was unrealistic to expect them to talk every day for hours like they did at first, but at least they didn’t think the relationship was extremely tenuous. They still had doubts at times, but talking helped dispel them. (if only for a brief time) Both of them were very glad to have a friend like the other.
Copyright: Flamsterette_X; Sept. 15, 2003.
F_X
