The Candy Family Tree

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Okay, my girlfriend and I got into a very lengthy conversation the other day about candy, and its various categories. So far, we’ve come up with the following:

Candy bars:
This would include anything like Snickers, Chunky, Butterfinger, etc. Very little confusion here.

Hard candy:
Also, very little confusion. Werthers, restaurant mints, butterscotch, etc.

Fruit chews:
Starting to get confusing here. This includes anything gummi, starburst, Chuckles, swedish fish, those sour string things, Twizzlers, etc.

Sugar based:
Getting much more confusing. Sweet tarts, Nesco wafers, etc.

Now here’s the question. Where do the following go?:

  • Those wax bottles with the juice in them. Do you create a Novelty category, or put them in fruit chews?

  • Candy cigarettes. I say sugar based, but what about the proposed Novelty?

  • Those real nice after-dinner mints, with the flavored strain of hard candy (straw shaped) that are coated in chocolate?

  • Andes thin mints. I say candy bars. She disagrees.

  • Peppermint patties. I still say candy bars. She’s pushing for a “Mint” category.

  • Tootsie Rolls and Bit-O-Honey. No idea.

  • That chicken named candy. Can’t think of the name.

2

I think a new category might get a few of these out of the way.

Chocolates: This includes M&M’s, Andes Mints, Peppermint patties, and any kind of filled bon-bon, from Russell Stover to Godiva.

3

Wouldn’t there have to be a “Chocolates” category. You know, Forest Gump chocolates. Nougat filled, chocolate covered cherries, caramels, Godivas…
I think Pepermint Patties & Andes Thin Mints would both fit into this category.

4

Yup. Plum forgot about that. Is that where you’d put Tootsie Rolls? What about that Bit-O-Honey? Could you put it in the candy bars, since it does come in a candy bar size?

5

And definitely a novelty category for candy such as the cigs and the wax bottles where form is more important than taste. Include in this candy dots and the candy “English peas and carrots” that I got one year at halloween. Lik-M-Stix might go in this, but might also go in the sugar category.

6

I argued that the Lick sticks would go in sugar candy, as its just like ground up sweet tarts.

7

I have a theory that there is really only one species of mint, but that they have various metamorphic stages.

The Egg Stage.
At this point in it’s life the mint is one of those round pastel butter mints, the kind you get in little mesh bags at weddings and baby showers. The bag is in fact a whole clutch of eggs laid and abandon by the parent mint, who may also choose to decorate the egg sack with little plastic wedding bells, babies or storks. It is believed that this practice helps assure the eggs survival by prompting people to put them in their purses or sport coat pockets, leading to the incubation into the…

The Chrysalis stage.
At this point the egg develops a red and white swirly pattern, believed to help camouflage them on the table cloths of Italian restaurants. This also explains why you always seem to have one of the swirly critters in the bottom of your purse or coat pocket despite the fact you don’t like them. At this point the mint may choose to migrate to new habitats individually via the check tray the waitress gives you or en-masse with a whole herd of its kin in a “Pick-a-Mix” bin. When the larval mint finds a proper home it transforms into…

The Adult stage.
At this point the mint develops a chocolate exoskeleton and flashy foil-like plumage used for attracting a mate. Thus the cycle begins anew.

8

Peeps? Is that what you were thinking of?

I think those would have to go into their own category given the almost cult-like following they have. Or maybe “seasonal” candies?

9

inky, that was a fantastic romp through the life cycle of the mint.

hum, hum, the circle of life…hum, hum.

10

No, its not Peeps. Peeps are chicken SHAPED, not chicken FLAVORED. Actually, the candy I’m think of might not even be chicken flavored, more of a butterfinger type. I think they’re called “Chick-o-stick”. Can’t remember. But they tubular, and packaged like a normal candy bar.

But that brings up the question of peeps. Novelty? Sugar based? I know they are in no way the same texture or consistency, but they are nothing BUT sugar.

11

Chicken flavored candy? Eeewwww.

12

What about jelly beans? They don’t fit in fruit chews… some are mint and wintergreen and licorice… and jelly bellies are all different flavors.

What about those kind that are hard sugar on the outside and filled with apple jelly inside?

Should gum be considered a candy?

One of the funniest things to do is to mix 3 bags fruity jelly beans and 1 bag ‘spice’ jelly beans… the mint/licorice/cinnamon kind in the same bowl. People grab a handful and are eating fruity ones, and then, blam, they eat a wintergreen one. Hang by the bowl with a camera and you can get some great shots.

13

oh, yeh, DON’T forget circus peanuts… remember that question about them?

14

Please…I’ve been TRYING to forget circus peanuts. Nasty, nasty things. You should probably include a “Blech” or “You’ve Got to Be Kidding” category to cover abominations like Circus Peanuts and those anonymous black and orange wrapped peanuty things you get in your trick or treat bag.

15

You need sub-sets, perhaps, for chocolate based candy.

Chocolate covered, chocolate mixed (haystacks, Nestle’s Crunch, etc.), solid chocolate.

I definitely think “novelty” and “holiday” catagories are in order.

“Sugar based” seems too vague, maybe you could do sub-sets on that too. (chewy, hard, etc.)

16

i know that this candy is avalaible in indiana, but i do not buy or eat it much.
chik-o-stix have a hard cookie shell and a kind of peanut filling, or they have a hard candy cover with a nutty filling.