The cats and the bees

I’ve learned something over the years. My cats love to play with any kind of flying insect. They do not care if it is a common housefly or a big-ass bumble-bee. So of course, when Mr. Wasp decided to invade my living quarters this morning, they found him first and decided to play with him. Now, my kitties are very good at evading Mr. Wasp’s stinger, but I have no idea how long they had been playing with him before I discovered that he was there. All I know is that by the time I found my uninvited house-guest, my cats had already made sure he was as pissed off as possible.

They don’t want to kill it, of course, they just want it as angry as it can possibly be so as to make it dangerous for me to try to either kill it or remove it from the house. Then they look at me with that “see what a brave and fearless hunter I am” look, as if I should praise them for it.

What is it with cats and stingy insects? Why, kitties, must you piss them off so? What do you even do about it when you find your pets playing with one? I wanted to remove the cat from the room, and close the door long enough to give the wasp time to calm down, but I was worried that I might get stung in the process. I can’t exactly use the can of Raid I have, either, since I’d risk spraying my feline friends with poison.

It’s usually a very simple process. If I find the invader first, I just open the window and let it out, or drown it in Raid. But the cats, well, they just have to piss it off and make sure the difficulty level is over 9,000 by the time I find it.

Mr. Wasp is dead, anyway. Eventually, the kitties lost interest, and he calmed down to the point I was able to sneak up on him and squish him with a wad of paper towels.

I hate those damned things!

Your cats weren’t just playing with the wasp; they were playing with you.

Vacuum cleaner - I use the long wand attachment. Works for a variety of unwanted insect friends.

Oh, yeah, kitties love vacuum cleaners!

I had a cat that caught a bee and was stung by it. She was afraid of flying insects ever after.

Heh. Maybe they’ll learn not to play with stingy things.

Well, there is that one odd video, but I suspect it is a baseboard system, since there is no obnoxious noise.

It matters not how poisonous the medium if you are just gonna drown it. Use water.

I laughed at my roommate while he chased a wasp around the house with a can of deodorant, as if deodorant was really gonna kill a pissed off wasp instead of just turn him into an even meaner and better-smelling version of his nasty old waspy self.

Until said wasp was caught in the fragrant aerosol mist, whereupon he promptly dropped to the carpet and snuffed it. Not sniffed, snuffed.

Perfume seems to work, too, much better than naughty language, and has the added bonus of encouraging the cats to vacate the room.

I’ve found that pretty much any liquid will at least cause the insect to drop to the floor, whereupon it can get the shoe. I’m not sure if I’ve tried straight up water yet.

Perfume usually has something like isopropyl alcohol in it. That would fuck up a flying insect pretty good.

Hairspray. Good ole 1980s era Aqua Net. Gums up their wings so they can’t fly, at which point they drop to the ground and can be safely squished with one’s shoe.

You people actually wear shoes in the house? Your own house? That is just all kinds of wrong.

That sounds a bit dangerous. What if the cat flipped the nozzle into it’s eye? Surely that would cause quite a bit of damage if it got a tight seal.

No. The cat leaves the area when the vacuum turns on, because cats hate vacuums. Then you vacuum up the bug.


No one said anything about wearing shoes. You grab one that isn’t being worn. With your hand. And mash the wasp to goo.