The Celebrity Death Pool 2006

The Game Room
161
  1. Sherman Hemsley
  2. David Lander aka Squiggy
  3. Jerry Lewis
  4. Kirk Douglas
  5. Gerald Ford
  6. Lou Rawls
  7. Bob Newhart
  8. Cloris Leachman
  9. Nancy Reagan
  10. Jimmy Carter
  11. Don Knotts
  12. Gary Coleman
  13. Luciano Pavarotti
162

And the guilt doesn’t last too long, either.

Okay, here’s mine: (a, please use this one instead of the one earlier in the thread.)

  1. Pete Doherty – British rocker and crack addict
  2. Stephen Hawking – “The Simpson’s” voice over actor and really smart guy
  3. Darren McGavin – Night Stalker and Christmas Dad
  4. Charlton Heston – one-time spokesman for God
  5. Don Ho – world’s most famous Hawaiian
  6. Kurt Vonnegut – author
  7. Shelley Winters – 2005 heart attack survivor
  8. Lou Rawls – Grammy-winning vocalist
  9. Harold Pinter – playwright and 2005 Nobel Prize (Literature) winner
  10. Wendy Wasserstein – another Pulitzer winning playwright
  11. Dana Reeve – famous widow
  12. Lady Bird Johnson – former FLOTUS
  13. Tammy Faye Bakker Resner – former Norfolk VA television personality

Alternates:
a. Ed McMahon – perennial sidekick
b. Tara Reid – safer bet than Courtney Love

163

Mine are all politicians and such:

1.George W. Bush
2.Ariel Sharon
3.Pope Benedict XVI
4.Jacques Chirac
5.Angela Merkel
6.Iyad Allawi
7.Tony Blair
8.Dick Cheney
9.Ariel Sharon
10.Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
11.Jiang Zemin
12.Kim Jong Il
13.Saddam Hussein

Alternates:
Marwan Barghouti
Vladimir Putin
Aleksander Kwaśniewski

164

Okay, I’m ready to submit my list. A few new names, several holdovers, and a couple of alternates (just in case a few of my picks for 2005 “beat the buzzer” in the next eight days):

  1. Joey Bishop – Comedian, Rat Packer, and talk show host who’s been on my 2004 and 2005 lists

  2. Abdelaziz Bouteflika – Algerian president, recently released from hospital in France

  3. Olivia de Havilland – Since this Gone with the Wind actress turns 90 next year, the law of diminishing returns suggests this will be her final appearance on my list.

  4. Art Donovan – Former Baltimore Colt and current country club owner/raconteur

  5. Jerry Falwell – Thomas Road Baptist Church preacher and Liberty University founder will soon find out if he’s indeed punched his ticket to Heaven

  6. Bob Feller – Cleveland Indians pitching great and World War II veteran

  7. Joan Fontaine – Estranged sister of Olivia de Havilland. Eve says the acting siblings hate each other so much that one won’t die until the other does. So when one finally goes, look for the other to follow in short order.

  8. Don Ho – Singer of Tiny Bubbles and one-time Brady Bunch guest performer is an admitted “bandwagon” pick after his experimental treatment for cardiomyopathy-induced heart failure

  9. Evo Morales – Newly-elected Bolivian president is a leftist coca farmer. In other words, an intelligence-agency orchestrated assassination waiting to happen.

  10. Lou Rawls – Recent announcement that he’s being treated for cancer of the lung and brain makes this Lady Love vocalist the “slam-dunk pick” for 2006, especially with that 1935 birthdate

  11. Oral Roberts – University founder and televangelist who will finally be “called home” in 2006

  12. Norodom Sihanouk – Longtime Cambodian politician who’s been “King-Father” since abdicating his throne in the autumn of 2004

  13. Robert Anton Wilson – Ever since I read that this Illuminatus! Trilogy author is in ill health, he’s been my sleeper pick for this incarnation of the Death Pool

Alternates (to be used in this order, if necessary)

  1. Lady Bird Johnson – Ex-First Lady of the U.S. isn’t worth enough points to stay on my “A-list”

  2. Billy Graham – If it’s true that “deaths come in threes”, he’ll join Falwell and Roberts in a trio of “men of the cloth” initiates to the Choir Invisible

  3. Gerald Ford – Another whose high risk of dying is offset by low reward, but whose name I can’t decline to mention after including it on my list for 2005

165

Damn, there goes my unique pick.

166

  1. Mr. T

  2. Courtney Love

  3. Jerry Falwell

  4. Omar Sherif

  5. Don Knotts

  6. Jimmy Carter

  7. Kitty Dukakis

  8. Ruth Bader Ginsburg

  9. Keith Richards

  10. Dennis Rodman

  11. Kate Moss

  12. Steven Hawking

  13. Robert Redford

167
  1. Pope Benedict XVI, pope
  2. Whitney Houston, singer
  3. Paris Hilton, heiress
  4. Stephen Hawking, scientist
  5. Michael J. Fox, actor
  6. George W Bush, president
  7. Mikael Persbrandt, actor
  8. Margaret Thatcher, former prime minister
  9. Frank Gardner, journalist
  10. Pete Doherty, singer
  11. Per Sinding-Larsen, journalist
  12. Tara Reid, actress
  13. Harold Pinter, author
168

Ah, yes, nothing says “holiday festivities” like coming up with a Dead Pool list. So far this year, I’ve been shut out, the price one pays for trying too hard to go for younger, more exclusive picks. I’m not trying so hard for that this year…

Anyway, I have 6 holdovers from last year:

You don’t really think these guys are gonna live to a ripe old age, do you?

Mike Tyson
Suge Knight

Pro wrestlers, porn stars, what’s the difference?

Ron Jeremy
Lou Albano

Recently lost a bunch of weight, but I fear that the damage is done.

Wayne Knight
John Popper

And the new additions:

Picking the low hanging fruit.

Don Ho
Lou Rawls

Wait, I thought he/she was already dead.

John Byner
Katherine Helmond

Most likely to die from an overdose of an ED drug.

Bob Dole
Mike Ditka

He’s looked dead for 20 years already.

Ric Ocasek

169

My list is pretty much the same as last year with only replacements for the The Pope, Pryor and for Scott Peterson who survived his first year in the clink. So I took him off.
What happened to jailhouse justice?

My Dead Pool:

  1. Dick Clark -legendary TV and Music personality
  2. John Wooden -legendary college basketball coach
  3. Jesse Helms -legendary racist senator
  4. Don Rickles -legendary comic
  5. Willie Mays -legendary baseball legend
  6. Mickey Rooney -legendary short actor
  7. Walter Cronkite -legendary anchorman
  8. Fidel Castro -legendary dictator
  9. Gerald Ford -legendary Michigan football player
  10. Lou Rawls -legendary singer
  11. Muhammad Ali -legendary greatest boxer of all-time
  12. Andy Rooney -legendary commentator
  13. Michael Jackson -legendary white woman
170

After erroneously placing this list on the 2005 thread, I’ll submit my picks in their proper place. No changes, however, from the “preview.”

1.Dick Clark

  1. Don Ho

  2. Elizabeth Taylor

  3. Fidel Castro

  4. John Wooden

  5. Kirk Douglas

  6. Nancy Reagan

  7. Queen Elizabeth II

  8. Marcel Marceau

  9. Jerry Falwell

  10. Lou Rawls

  11. Tammy Faye Bakker

  12. Ashley Simpson

Alternates:

Hulk Hogan

Boris Yelsten

171

Meat Loaf (aka Marvin Aday - singer / actor)
Ringo Starr (ex Beatle)
Stephen Hawking (physicist and author)
Keith Richards (ex Rolling Stone)
Gerald Ford (ex US president)
**Ozzy Osbourne ** (Prince of Darkness)
Sharon Osbourne (wife of Ozzy)
Yogi Berra (ex NY Yankee)
Phyllis Dilller (comedian)
Ed McMahon (US television personality)
Pete Rose (ex baseball player)
Charles Manson (ex cult leader)
JD Salinger (author)

alternative: Zsa Zsa Gabor

172

I doubt any of these folks are going to shuffle off this mortal coil within the next week, so, I can “roll over” my entire 2005 list:

  1. Lady Bird Johnson
  2. Ervin ‘Magic’ Johnson
  3. Jerry Lee Lewis
  4. Jerry Lewis
  5. Jayne Meadows
  6. Art Linkletter
  7. Ann B. Davis
  8. William Shatner
  9. Barbara Billingsley
  10. Larry Storch
  11. Professor Irwin Corey
  12. Don Knotts
  13. Jan Murray (born 1917)

I don’t even think it is necessary to state an alternate, but on the off chance my zero score for 2005 gets “ruined”, then I shall choose Charlie Daniels as an alternate.
(Should I end up 2005 with a “perfect” score, as promised I will publish a Top Ten List of the Advantages of having a zero score in the death pool.)

173

:::::blows Whistle!::::::::::::

Time Out!
I have a Brainfart Question©.

If we have alternates, and lets say one of our Top 13 dies after January 1, 2006, does this mean our 1st alternate is automatically moved up to the top 12 as a replacement or are we now just 12? oooooh, look, run on sentance.

And if we have, say, three dead people on our list, and only two alternates…are we then short one, or just screwed. Or are we ( meaning me) being greedy?
I’m sorry this this is so retarded, and one would think after all these years of Dead Pooling I’d know these things. But, um…yeah.
::::blows whistle:::::::::::::

Game On!

174

Also, why 13? There are so many wonderful possibilities for DP Lists and shaving off so many for the Golden 13 is harder for me than naming my kids was.
20 would be cool…until I have to whittle it down to 20…

175

Please delete my previous entry entirely, and replace it with this list:

Saddam Hussein
Fidel Castro
Abu Moussab Al-Zarqawi
Jerry Falwell
Pervez Musharraf
Michael Moore
Dana Reeve, widow of Christopher Reeve
Robert Mugabe
George Soros
Lou Rawls
Muhammed Ali
Tammie Faye Bakker Messner
Maria Friedman, Broadway actress

176

Please bump Eunice Kennedy Shriver up to replace Richard Pryor.

177

No, poopyhead, you have it wrong. The alternates come into play if someone in the top 13 assumes room temperature before Jan 1.

178

I forgot, they also work for the case of picking someone who was cold to begin with.

179

I always wonder why people feel the need to supply 3 alts. Has anyone lost 3 picks in the month of December?

180

I have no alternates for my list - should I quickly think up a few?