The cheese and bacon channel

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Ever catch a snippet of somebody else’s conversation and maybe you misheard it, or maybe you only caught the tail-end of a sentance and didn’t get the context, but the little bit you did hear made absolutly no sense?

“…I’d heard that he bought a new magnetic shrimp whistle…”

“…results aren’t back yet but it sounds like it’s Mother Theresa’s cramps.”

“…three feet long, soft and flexable. I thought it was just a black thing…”

“…like a nice enough girl, apart from the emissions…”

Anyway, my friend coined a term for this. He calls it “The Cheese and Bacon Channel” after an experience he had.

I need your help to get this accepted into everyday speech. Feel free to use it today!

Thanks,

Inky

2

I heard it referred to as “Urban Haiku.” But that’s actually a term for anything bizarre and out of place. Example: the illusive no-word Urban Haiku:

There is a large Vietnamese population here in Burlington. Driving past a Vietnamese grocery store, I noticed the pictures of Asian music and film stars, Vietnamese food for sale, and off to the corner, a “McCain for President” sign. McCain, for anyone who has been asleep for the last 6 months, was a POW in Vietnam. Urban Haiku.

3

Well Swimming, a Cheese and Bacon Channel is intended to describe a trick of the ear more than a piece of everyday absurdity.

That is pretty weird though.

4

The best moment like that I can remember was long, long ago, when I worked in a video store.

(Not to pull an Algore, but I think the Randall character in the movie “Clerks” may have been based on me.)

Anyway, this lady came in with another lady, and all I heard was one say to the other, “Yeah, John’s had that diahhrea, so I went and bought him a 2-liter of 7-Up.”

(???)

“We are here for this – to make mistakes and to correct ourselves, to withstand the blows and to hand them out.” Primo Levi

5

Here’s on of mine:

While in college, my roommate and I were peeking out of our window watching one of our neighbors arguing with his girlfriend.

My roommate says, “This is pretty juvenile, isn’t it.”

I heard, “She’s as pretty as June Allyson.”

Still makes me laugh 15 years later.

6

I can still make my friend laugh (not to mention myself) by referring to a conversation we had on the bus. Years ago, when it was fashionable for men to wear very tight pants. My friend noted one fellow and said: “any tighter and he’d have an accident.”

What I heard was: “any tighter and he’d have an accent.”

I still think we were both right…

:smiley:

I am a redhead, you see, and I do not tempt. I insist. -Cristi

7

so what made you think it was a cow?

:eek:

8

I was in art class one day, in grade 2. I’d gotten up to change my paint water, and while walking back to my seat, I heard Greg Seely say, “It smelled like a sick moose going to the bathroom.” I didn’t ask him what he meant, because I didn’t want to be thought eavesdropping, but I’ve wondered many times since then what “it” was.

9

I get those problems reading, too. There was an insurance company near my old apartment and the neon sign read: “Drive in Claims”.

EVERY single time I read it, I saw: “Drive in Clams”.

I think I was very affected by Howard Johnson’s in this…

10

When my oldest was three, he had this little guy sitting in an inner-tube that he played with in the bath.
One day, as I was draining the tub, I said to him “Pick Bobby (toy’s name) up so he doesn’t get stuck in the drain.”
My son looked up at me in wide-eyed shock and said “So it won’t suck out his BRAIN???”

Funny as hell, yet sort of creepy at the same time…