Walking into the middle of a conversation...Statements out of context

In My Humble Opinion
1

One of my favorite things to do in the middle of a conversation, while waiting my turn to put in my two cents, is to imagine what it would sound like to someone who just walked up, who hadn’t heard the first part of the discussion. I have a couple of examples:

This weekend I walked into a conversation in which one guy was saying, “I felt like I was sleeping with a cheese!” I moved on without finding out where that came from.

Once while talking over pizza and beer, the waitress walked up just as a buddy was slamming his fist on the table and saying, “Nevertheless, if I was to eat any part of a dead cheerleader, I would want it cooked!” Needless to say, she refused our request for two more pitchers.

So, anyone else have a comment that made sense in context, but was funny or bizarre when heard by itself?

2

… and the dwarf said, “Well if you just wanted it trimmed, why didn’t you say so sooner?”

3

the one that must appear-

“well, if it weren’t for my horse, i wouldn’ta spent that year in college”

and from personal experience-

“no, no, no! clearly the sausage was more adept!”

4

That’s when the right side of my brain turned to the left side and said “It’s dark in here. And we may die”

5

My fave was:
“so I was in the locker room, and there was one guy bent over, and the other was giving it to him right in the ass!”

The “it” in questions was an injection of steroids, but that was not my first thought.

al.

6

From something I said that a friend walked in on:

“So I was fucking my best friend’s mom…”

7

For many of these types of overheard conversations, check the following link.

http://glassdog.com/overheard/index.html

8

I was talking to a friend on the phone when a coworker walked in. This is what she heard:

“Well, he IS really big, but, then again, he’s also black.”

I was talking about my cat and why he isn’t allowed outside, particularly at night. But that sure wasn’t what my coworker thought I was talking about! :eek:

9

There are even more at:

http://www.inpassing.org/

10

hehehehehehehe…

that would make an excellent sig.

11

Well my method of trabsportation to and from school is the school bus, has been for the past two years and in that time we’ve all falleninto a rather neat seating arrangement. I fall asleep on the bus and I always wake up to the oddest things from the pair of girls who sit across from me or the two that sit two seats back.

“Beware the one eyed glittery ladybug of doom!”

“But what if your boyfriend had an anal fixation?”

“Date Rape!”

“Bootylicious Vinyl”
Kitty

12

One I over heard, and have mentioned before:

“That’s not a spaceship, it’s a goat”.

Heard this a couple of months ago and it still makes me pause and chuckle.

13

Here’s my favorite deliberate, middle of the conversation line. The setup: you are talking to a friend, and you see another friend approaching. As soon as friend #2 gets within ear shot, turn to friend #1 and say, “Well, here he is. You can tell him that to his face.” And walk off.

14

While walking by some cubicles at work, I overheard this part of a phone conversation:

“You have to be careful who you’re seen in public with right now because when this goes down …”

(short pause)

“Well, if it comes to that, then I’ll have to turn my back and walk away.”

I have no idea what the conversation was about. All I can figure is he was setting up a big drug deal, or maybe a mob hit. :slight_smile:

15

I once walked into a conversation to hear the line:

“And I looked down…and there was a chocolate-covered graham cracker stuck between my toes…”. The speaker subsequently refused to tell me the rest of that story.

And a friend swears she overheard the following while passing a classroom:

“And if you shoot soap up into it, your arm will explode!”

We’ve spent years trying to figure out a rational context for that one.