The child I put up for adoption 26 years ago has found me.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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My sister gave up a child thirty two or three years ago. We were Mormons then, so having an abortion wasn’t a question, nor was keeping the child. The father was irresponsible and my sister was 20, waiting tables without a degree yet. My family would not have been supportive.

So, she gave up the child. She went back, finished school and then 15 some years later had a girl and then a boy. She was married to a responsible person, and they haven’t looked back.

She had keep looking for her daughter, and because the adaption was private, she had gotten the name of the family from some paper work that the attorney had mistaken sent her. Because of the Net, she had found the child, who is now married with three children. I found her semi-anonymous blog and my sister keeps following it, but hasn’t contacted her directly.

It was amazing to see similarities not only physically but also other areas such as hobbies; both mother and daughter are great seamstresses. The girl is also a “firefighter” personality, (Take charge in emergencies) which is something both her mother and I share. Interesting how that seems to be nature rather than nurture.

The daughter is Mormon, and my sister is not, so that is one reason she decided to not contact her. The other is that my sister just does not reach out to people, so after a couple of times, then she isn’t likely to keep up with calls or email. Since my sister never calls or emails me, I can see that.

Because my sister isn’t reaching out, and also because of the religion, I have had to let it go. While it would have been not a close connection to begin with, there doesn’t seem to be that much of a connection for me. I’m sure I’d feel different if I were one of the major actors in the scene, though.

Anyway, I didn’t write this to be negative, just to provide another person’s experience.

My sister used to get down every year around the time when the girl was born. Even knowing that the daughter is doing well has really helped my sister get peace.

Life had difficult choices. No one can make decisions for others and only people who create artificial blacks and whites dare judge.

I’m happy that things are working out. This really is cool.

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Wow! That is awesome, Missy!

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grandmissy - glad to hear this is working out…

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Best wishes to all~

I just found out the name and birthdate of my sister and will be doing my own search soon.

My mother has certainly changed … She just gave me a lot of information that she has held back for 55 years.

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~Olive~ how exciting!

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OP, this is all just so awesome to read about! Congrats!!! :slight_smile:

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I’m delighted for you, Missy2U. Enjoy picking out all the similarities between you, then all the differences, and exchanging pictures and stories. I was in your position a long time back, and it was an amazing experience.

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Congrats, granny!

(Your husband’s yell in the background about “Great-Grandma” made me laugh…I can see him delight in that little dig…)

Keep us posted - always great to hear stories with nice happy endings like this!

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My son and I took it real slow too - first a phone call, then emails, then snail mail and pics.

Oh god, the pictures. I carried that envelope with his letter and his pictures everywhere I went. Almost literally everywhere I went - I didn’t take them into the bathroom although I wanted to, because I didn’t want to get water spots on them. I had a special place in the kitchen where I’d set them while I worked.

I looked at those pictures 20 times an hour every waking hour. I also practiced saying his name - his full name - over and over again. All those years I’d “known” him by the name I gave him and I needed to really GET my sons legal name. He told me later he did the same thing with my name. “Her name is Dr. Woo and she is my birthmother”.

We finally met in person three months after we first made contact and it was damn near overwhelming for both of us. It’s good we took it slow and let each new discovery and experience be assimilated.

Also, there are milestones in each reunion: the first phone call, the first face-to-face meeting, each participant’s first post-reunion birthday, first meeting of other birth and adoptive family members, first Thanksgiving/Christmas. These are all big deals as you can well imagine, so give them some thought and don’t let them sneak up on you.

I do wish I had kept a journal of those first few months - I think it would have helped me deal with all the excitement of the reunion, plus all the resurfaced really BAD memories of giving him up.

Hang in there!

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I was quite amused by the weird similarities like that - when we first met, my son and I drove the same kind of car, same model, same color, even. Is there an Acura gene? And a love of Tom Waits gene?

My husband is also an adoptee and is reunited with his birthmother. Their whole family is very conservative, while my family - including my son - is very liberal. It was funny to see the Reagan/Bush bumper sticker on his grandmother’s car, and the Air Force bake sale sticker on my son’s.

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hooray! Glad it is working out for you!

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What a great story! It made me smile. I could feel how thrilled you are through your words. I’m sure that your daughter having a baby of her own is what got her to get up the nerve to finally look you up.
At least for me, becoming a mom made me realize how truly important family and roots are.
Please keep us updated when you finally meet in person, but take your time of course.

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Congratulations, Missy2U!

I’m not adopted, nor do I have any other kids out there; I just think it’s a heartwarming story.

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Congratulations, Missy2U!

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Missy2U, I have been watching from afar. The story is awesome.

Ducati, I think you are doing what is right by you. No reason for the guilts.

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Congrats, Miss2U, this is truly wonderful! And wow, you’re a Grandma! And I bet at some point your daughter might adopt a baby too, just to continue the family tradition.

I’ve been reading this thread, and the previous one, and I kinda feel a little left out, that I wasn’t adopted.

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Congratulations, Missy2U! That’s pretty exciting news.

A couple of years ago I reconnected with the daughter I gave up 23 years ago and it has been great. She is a sweet, fun woman and seems to have her head on straight. It was such a relief to see that she had turned out well, and was a happy person, after agonizing for so many years about the decision to give her up.

I’m glad you and your daughter reconnected! Please post more as you learn more about her…

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What a great story! I’m very happy for you!

(from one new grandma to another :wink: )

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Oh wow, Missy, that is incredible, and it warms my dark little heart. I can’t wait for you to meet her, and will be following this thread.

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I’m so happy for you! And I’m in absolute puddles here, so I can only imagine the emotional rollercoaster for you. Congratulations!