Time: Early 70s
Product: Laundery detergent
Spokesperson: Dolly Parton (Yes! Really! Dolly!)
Purchase incentive: A big fluffy towell in the box
Hook line: "You can only get them in boxes of Breeze!
Another early 70s detergent commercial (also in printed ads):
DUZ does it all!
It’s Log, it’s Log!
It’s big, it’s heavy, it’s wood!
It’s Log, it’s Log!
It’s better than bad – it’s good!
Cocoa Wheats, Cocoa Wheats can’t be beat
It’s the creamy hot cereal with the cocoa treat
To be big and strong, have lots of fun
Eat Cocoa Wheats, everyone!
It’s worth noting that I fucking hate Cocoa Wheats.
This one came to me as I was thinking about this post in bed last night:
A is for Apple!
J is for Jacks!
Cinnamon toasted Apple Jacks!
I still remember the jazzy tune sung by this animated character (in the extremely two-dimensional style of animation that was in vogue around 1960):
Hey! I got color TV!
RCA Victor color TV!
I know what I’ve been missing now!
Wow!
I got color TV!
I never saw this in color, though! 
It’s also funny to remember how in those days commercials seemed to appear at random–they weren’t really targeted to the audience of a given show. That’s why I used to see cigar commercials during my afternoon kiddie shows.
A hundred thousand times a day
[spoken, after someone’s cigar gets smooshed as he tries to light it:] Well, maybe 99,999…
Someone lights up a Santa Fe!
I recently rented the Special Edition DVD of Goldfinger, which includes among the documentary extras the commercial for Vick’s cough syrup featuring the Oddjob character from the movie. Oddjob is seen walking down the street, suffering from a horrible cold, and every time he coughs, his arm involuntarily lashes out and karate chops a lamppost in two or knocks down a brick wall. He finally arrives at his house, where his wife meets him at the door with a spoonful of Vick’s. She then looks over his shoulder at this trail of devastation he’s left all down the street.
Glad to see this thread is still kicking.
Does the word “Clydesdale” bring anything to mind?
Here comes the king, here comes big number one,
<Here comes the king>
Budweiser Beer – the king is second to none …
The king is coming, just hear the call,
When you say Bud, you’ve said it all,
When you say Bud, you’ve said it all –
Ya da da da da da da da da da da …
Well if this will contain old telephone numbers.
How many cookies did Andrew eat?
Anndrew ate eight thousand.
How do you keep your carpets neat?
Call ANdrew 8-8000.
Ad showed kid gobbling cookies. Ad was for Adams and Swett, Boston, Mass.
I put this on another bulletin board and got no replies.
I fondly remember three jingle ads for people who did not win the positions they were seeking. They were Joseph Ward for Governor of Mass (1960), John Collins for U.S. Senate, and John Sears for Mayor of Boston. The Sears ads were to the tune of “Greensleeves”/“What Child is This”. I can give the entire Joseph Ward ad, would like the Colllins and Sears ads.
I also remember the following T.V. ad during the 1960 Presidential Race.
Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party.
Don’t pass the buck, but give a buck.
Dig Down! Dig in! and VOTE!
Is this available on video. Does anyone know who was behind it or created it.
RE: Stan Freberg.
“The Great American Soup” was a case of great ad, lousy (or overpriced) product.
Was there really a Capt’n Crunch ad which took on the great “Now Let’s See Yo Do That On Televison” ad/bit by Freberg?
I have been trying to find the lyrics to the various versions of “The Montreal Express” a series of ad for Boston Gas Company (now part of KeySpan). The first one stared
There’s an arctic wind out of Canada,
And it’s howling like a wolverine.
And it comes on down, to Boston Town,
Whenever it feels real mean…
The minute you walked in the joint,
I could tell you were a man of destinction. (Muriel Cigars)
Hey get your cold beer! Hey get your Ballentine…
and Who is the ale man? Who can he be? (Bakkentine Ale)
Schafer is the one beer to have when your having more than one.
Hi Neighbor! Have a 'Gansett. (Narigansett Beer)
Atlantic keeps your car on the go.
Ford, Ford, new kind of Ford,
Car of tomorrow by Ford.
“Just a pinch between your cheek and gum.”
I can proudly say that almost every commercial in the video games Grand Theft Auto 3 and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City will become classics to me and others in a few years. To illustrate:
Male: If you’ve never seen the majesty of a modern dance performance, Come see the unbridled passion of ‘In The Future, There Will Be Robots’! Every night at the Vice City arts center! Expressing the future aesthetically,through the medium of dance, 2 men battle for one robot’s heart. By euphoric and vehement gyrations on stage.
Actor: I love her!
Claude Maginot: Yes, but what about this?!
Actor: Those aren’t regulation moves!
Claude Maginot: I dance MY way, to express that which cannot be said!
Robot: I-love-you-both dance-for-me!
Male: This is the definition of modern dance. Grown men in questionable clothing, flailing around like their having a seizure! True modernism, the past, the present and the future. The performance features a futuristic laser show, with a dehydrating manatee (Maaaah). In the future, there will be robots!
Robot: Come-see-the-performance-that-has-left-critics-speechless!
Male: At the Vice City Arts Center.
Female: Are you tired of your couches getting ruined?
Male: Oh grandpa.
Grandpa: I made tinkles again!
Male: If you’ve got old people cluttering up your home. Why not send them to Musty Pines? We’ll help bring back dignity and we promise it’ll be thebest three months of their lives. They’ll enjoy bingo, complaining,mumbling incoherently, skinny-dipping and organ donation. And once a month it’s our famous lucky dip medication switching night. Musty Pines is located at a luxurious location overlooking Vice City’s state of the art sanitation facilities.
You can still visit your old people,but now you have the comfort of knowing you don’t have to. After they pass on to something better, guaranteed in three months or less, you can start enjoying their money.
Finally, you can have quality family time again. Musty Pines, now you don’t have to say goodbye.
Drive through service also available.
Woman: “I’ve tried everything and I just couldn’t keep those extra 200 pounds off! It started to affect my marriage.”
Man: “She was too fat for me, and I’ll sleep with anything!”
Woman: “The Abdomatrix the Thigh-asizer, tummy stapling, I’ve had my mouth sewn up, my hands chopped off, you name it I’ve tried it!”
Man: “Except for exercising and eating right porky!”
Woman: “That’s right honey! Then I found The Dormatron! Using a new technologey called Bio-rhythmic-subconscious-gymnastics, The Dormatron exercises you while you sleep. Just strap in your arms and legs, put on TheDormatron Headset, then wrap yourself in the special high voltage eletric blanket. Turn it up to 11 and burn those pounds away while a relaxing nights sleep! Now that I’ve lost 280 pounds, my husbands all mine again!”
Man: “That’s right honey, no more escort services for me!”
Male Voice: "Don’t be fat a day longer then you have to!Remember, being fat can ever ruin a romantic cruise! Whooo Call Dormatron now, at 1-800 sleepofflard. or visit www.sleepofflard.com and sleep your way to a thinner, happier you!
Man: “Are you bored with man’s best friend?”
Boy: “Sorry Fido were gonna have to drown you.”
Man: “Why not try mans first cousin? At PetsOvernight.com we’ve got every primate in stock from spider monkeys to gorillas. You’ll love your new best friend.”
Boy: “Mommy, Jim-Jim bit me.”
Mom: “Oh ya, you just bite him back then. Ok honey?”
Man: “PetsOvernight.com, delivering little bundles of love in box, directly to your door.”
And my personal favourite:
Male: How do you like to enjoy a Rusty Brown’s Ring Donut?
Male #2: I like to lick lovingly around the outside and then trust my tounge into the middle.
Female: I like to munch it vigourously.
Male #3: I just love the batter, all over my face.
Male #4: On Friday nights I just can’t stop eating Rusty Brown’s Ring Donuts.
Female: Oh my god, it’s so good.
Male #5: Sometimes I like to wear women’s panites and walk around 5th Street.
Male: When you go Downtown, make sure you enjoy Rusty Brown’s Ring Donuts.
I’ve mentioned this before, but one of the best commercials I’ve seen was just over a year ago by Volkswagen. It was for their Cabrio (convertible) car. They play the song “Pink Moon” during the ad and I’ll never forget the first time I watched it. When the young people reach the party they stop and watch what the crowd is doing. Then occupants in the car all look at each other and then the camera shifts views to the car’s rear and you see the reverse lights come on. That’s when I knew this was a good car ad. The commercial ends with a shot of one of the female occupants of the car, with the wind going through her hair, as she looks up at the sky.
I love that commercial.
Funny I should see this thread just as an old old commercial jingle tune has embedded itself in my brain. Coke commercial song.
I think of it as the original Coke jingle song, although I suppose every generation that was too young to hear or remember the previous variant thinks of the first one they can remember as the original.
It was a long song, starting off with “Things go better with Coca-Cola, things go better with Coke”.
Later commercials (including the famous ‘hillside singers’ Christmas commercial) ended with a tiny snipped of the long song, but did not include any of the middle section.
Damned if I can remember any of the words, except for a brief phrase about “things blah blah blah blah, when you’re blah blah”
“Life is much more fun when you’re refreshed
And Coke refreshes you best
(It’s the refreshing-est)”
Ah, but these UN-cola nuts are rather LARGER than Kola nuts. Rather JUICIER…
Aha, that’s it!
Things go better with Coca-Cola,
Things go better with Coke,
Life is much more fun when you’re refreshed,
And what refreshes you best?_ Coca Cola does._
Food goes better with, fun goes better with, you go better with Coke!_
The real live one for extra fun for you and everything you do,
So things go better with Coca Cola,
Things go better with Coke!
Meet the Swinger, the Polaroid Swinger
Swing it up
It says yes
Take the shot
Count it down
Zip it off!
A silly millimeter longer, 101…(I forget what brand these were)
Ajax cleans like a white tornado!
Easy boys, dirty dealer meant no harm! (some M&M’s commercial, I only remember that line)
Ayyy, Ay Ay Ayyyyyyyyyy
I am ze Frito Bandito!
Last Thanksgiving, my mom was jittering around while my sister was trying to make dinner. Finally Sis turned to her and said, “What was that commercial for—Excedrin? ‘Mother, please, I’d rather do it myself!’”
That was, of course, back in the day when, if a housewife was anything other than total sweetness and light, something was horribly wrong and must be remedied immediately.
Anyone remember “Gimme a light!” I particularly remember the one where a blinding spotlight was trained on the speaker, and he said, “No, Bud Lite” into a microphone which also appeared out of nowhere.
What were Christa McAuliffe’s last words? “No, Bud Lite.” :::d&r:::
“Muncha buncha muncha buncha muncha buncha muncha buncha, Fritos go with lunch…”
Now here’s an obscure one. “Mr. Dirt wants you!” Unspeakably filthy spokesperson for some kind of automotive product. I know I didn’t just imagine it, but a Google search turned up nothing. Anybody?
And I hated the Frito Bandito. Not him, but the idea. In fact, I hate all commercials that have a villain. Wouldn’t a Frito Amigo have been just as effective? And don’t get me started on Bad Andy or that repulsive Noid.