The confessional. Come one! Come All.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
101

I watch roller derby and pro wrestling.

I read all the Harry Potter books.

I play Pokemon sometimes. I feel inferior to my six-year-old nephew because he knows more about them than I ever will.

I like Eighties hair metal.

I used to steal my sister’s copies of YM and read them – just for the embarrassment spotlight columns, I swear!

TMR
If you believed in yourself, and tore enough holes
in your pants, there was always a mist-filled alley
right around the corner.

102

I constructed an algorithm which used the binomial theorem at the edge of its radius of convergence. It worked but it was so… so… unrigourous.

I feel dirty.

103

Now that is the absolute sickest thing I’ve ever heard. I coulda coped if you’d said you felched a goat or something, but this? Christ on a banana seat bike! You are one twisted MF.

But who am I to talk, really? I mean, I really, really like Barry Manilow.

Cristi, Slayer of Peeps

I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday.

(title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!)

104

Now all you need to do is get Barry Manilow to write a song about felching, then it’s the best of both worlds, isn’t it?

I shudder to think of the lyrics. No…in fact I BARF to think of the lyrics.

I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me.
—Stuart Smalley

105

“I felch the goats that make the young girls sing…”

Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.

106

Oh My God. :slight_smile:

(5 minutes later…)
That absolutely took all the words right away from me. shudder

107

My confession:

Part 1. I actually went to a Barry Manilow website to get some lyrics to write a parody that used the word “felch” liberally.

Part 2. He is one ugly guy.

Part 3. n-t grrrl already did this, and did it very well.

Part 4. The real lyrics are so nose-pinching, gorge-rising, saccharine schmaltzy that they can only be improved by incorporating references to revolting sexual practices, including felching, necrophilia and self-mutilation.

Part 5. Didn’t he write a McDonald’s jingle? “Do you want a McFelch with that? Regular or Super-Size?”

108

Eeeeyuk!

I can just see some wholesome, freckle-faced corn-fed Iowegian teenage girl wearing that McDonald’s uniform in the commercial now…

“You deserve a felch today!” gag Makes you wonder what’s in those milkshakes, doesn’t it?

And don’t forget to pick up your Monopoly game pieces. You could win valuable prizes.

109

Nope, it was a Burger King commercial
“Hold the Pickles, Hold the Lettuce,
All we ask is that you let us
Felch it your way
Felch it your way at Burger King”.
Sorry I couldn’t resist.
Keith

“I’m tired of being an object of ridicule. I wanna be a figure of fear, respect, and SEX!”
-Radar O’Reilly

110

Neuro, I love you. Remind me to buy you copious amounts of alcohol should we ever meet IRL. You are priceless, woman :smiley:

(Yeah, yeah, I know. The Lesbian thing. Who cares. Anyone who comes up with these insane lyrics deserves all praise, even if it is all going to be platonic ;))

111

While I hate detracting from felching related fun as much as the next person, I did think of another item to confess to.

I really, really enjoy watching Supermarket Sweep.

112

I used to fantasize about being the only person left alive in the world. This is assuming the electricity will still be on, and I’ll be able to put gas in one of my many cars . There will be no other humans, they will all have mysteriously vaporized. I would drive down the empty highways, head south to my exclusive winter resort and then back to my oceanside New England mansion in the summer.

113

I play Everquest. I violated the rocketry code, as when I was nine, I shot my rockets at moving targets. I once shot myself in the leg with a bb gun. I really don’t like my girlfriends spagehtti. Can I go now?

114

Oh man, I know that I am going to get my ass kicked for this, but oh hell:

I like music. All kinds of music. I listen to everything.

Doesn’t sound too bad, does it? Consider this:
I listen to country music, and like it. Not all of it, but a lot of it. Artists like Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw, Neal McCoy, Faith Hill, Charlie Daniels, Trace Adkins, George Strait, Randy Travis, Chris LeDoux to name a few.

I listen to hip-hop, and I like it. Not all of it, but a lot of it. Method Man, Goldie, Cool Keith, Low Fidelity All Stars, LL Cool J, and even such smut as Eminem graces my CD collection.

I listen to mainstream stuff like Korn, Limp Bizkit, Kid Rock, Orgy, Godsmack, Incubus, ICP, Live, Blink 182 and so on, and I like it. Not all of it, but a lot of it.

I listen to classical music, and I like it. At any given time my changer will have Bach, Orff, Haydn, Beethoven, and mostly Mozart.

I listen to techno, and I like it. Crystal Method, Rob D, Orbital, and Halcion are good representatives.

I listen to many other categories, such as Reggae, ska, punk, mariachi, and rap.

I listen to everything but secular music, and maybe I’ll get into that, too.

So that’s my confession. I get down to all this stuff, and don’t really fit into any convenient category.
Oh well.

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

115

I like accordian and fiddle music and they don’t necessarily have to be together.

I shave my legs only when the situation calls for it.

I use to owe a Monkees album

I like the Ernest Goes To…movies.

116

OK OK yes you heard me…

I admit I know all the words to Warrant’s ‘Cherry Pie’

117

That’s nothing to be ashamed of!