The Official SDMB Confession Stand

This is not a blatant rip-off of Jester’s thread - rather it was inspired by my poor eyesight and dirty glasses.
[sub]Plus I figure it’s a chance to hear some really juicy stories.[/sub]

Disclaimer: I am not a Father Confessor, being neither a Father nor a confessor. However, I promise that whatever you tell me will be held in strictest confidence. No, really, I won’t tell! You can trust me. So, come sit by me, dear children, and unburden yourselves.

[Frasier Crane] I’m listening.[/Frasier Crane]

FairyChatMom, I love you. But don’t tell anyone else.

Sometimes I don’t think a new episode of The Simpsonsis funny until I’ve seen it a second time.

In elementary school, I ate some soap a friend was carving thinking it was white chocolate. Now I no longer like white chocolate.

I really like the way new shoes make me taller for a few days. Given an unlimited budget, I’d throw shoes out as soon as my shod height slipped back under 6’ 1".

Is there a bulk discount?

I could swear this was in IMHO when I started replying. :eek:

I cried at the end of Pay It Forward.

I still have a copy of The Color Purple that I accidentally brought to college with me in 1992 instead of returning it to the library.

I think thinksnow is absolutely adorable.

Bless me FairyChatMom for I am sinning. I am playing on the SDMB when I should be working. I can’t help it, I have voices, and this is more fun than telling suppliers how to run their businesses. OK, that’s kinda fun, too.

Am I going to Hell?

I’ve never seen a complete episode of The Simpsons.

Sometimes I have naughty thoughts about certain Dopers…about three of them actually. I want to see them naked and run my tongue…I’ll stop there.
What is my penance? How many Hail Mary’s?

Awww, I love you too, but don’t tell my husband…

Are you referring to shoes or confessions??

Please don’t swear… delicate sensibilities and all that crap…

Me too, but don’t tell my husband

Nah - I’ll put in a good word for you… but ya gotta repent and send me chocolates…

You’ll prolly have to go to hell for that.

You too??

I think guys that look like Jesus usually does in artists’ renderings are HOT.

I’m also madly in love with someone who doesn’t look a HECK of a lot like above description.

These days the new episodes aren’t funny at all! :eek:

I have a confession.
I’d like to tie up a certain doper and…

  • someone knows what I’m talking about *

::looks around furtively::I’ve never read The Hobbit. I tried three times, and I think Tolkien is a terrible author. Oh, and I had chocolate-covered Teddy Grahams for lunch.::hangs head in shame::

{i]If you post it, they will come…*

Me too.

I’ve never seen anything “Monty Python” and I think that the previews for “Flying Circus” (or whatever) look really stupid.

I liked “Grapes of Wrath”. Except that really long chapter devoted entirely to the turtle crossing the road. I thought that was pretty stupid.

This is rather difficult for me to say. You realize I’ve never told anyone these things ever.

I often buy a ton of hair care products for my GF. I’ll get hair straightener, hair dye, conditioner, gel, spray, etc. The truth is, although I tell everyone the stuff is for my GF, it’s really all for me.

Same deal with the Biore strips.

I lied that day in the elevator: I did know what that smell was. I had Taco Bell for lunch. Some nights I wake up and can still hear the screaming.

I used to write papers for people in college and grad school for money.

Hey, I like to write, and the money was pretty good.

I hate Faulkner. The famous author, not anyone else named Faulkner. I hate Faulkner so much I can’t even remember what his first name is.

It’s William, Ferggie. And he doesn’t exactly float my boat, either.

But I really, really don’t like Hemingway. I tried, but I just couldn’t do it. Sorry.

Well, since we’re getting things off our chests…

I stole several dollars out of my little sister’s piggybank when I was 12 and she was 6.

I added two points to a student’s final grade to make it a D- instead of an F.

I refused to feed my roommate’s dog when she went off with the flavor-of-the-month boyfriend, and let it go hungry for several days in order to force her to look after it herself.