C’mon, it’ll do you good. You know you want to, now get in here and bare your soul! Just lay it all out in here, and all will be forgiven.
Not 15 minutes ago, I took my work-neighbor’s last girl scout cookie. Didn’t even have the courtesy to throw the box away, either.
Whew! I feel much better now!
Ok, I can’t keep it hidden any longer. I have to confess…
It was me.
SOB Alright! I confess! SOB
Lobsang thinks it was him but it was really me. I just made it look like he did it. Happy now?
I…I…I’m…
I’m masticating in my classroom right now! The students aren’t in the room, but they will be shortly, and I don’t think I can finish by then!
Oh, the humanity!
That unpleasant odor wafting around the office? Yeah, that was me.
Masticating? For shame! If you don’t stop that, you could go blind. 
And on a completely unrelated note, the word masticating always gives me a flashback to that nerdy kid in the encyclopedia commercial talking about his mandibula.
My confession:
Eight years ago, I was living out of my car in New Orleans, and temping at an office. Someone bought a king cake and explained to me the whole “find the baby, buy another cake” idea. I hadn’t eaten anything substantial in over a week, and I kept stealing slices of cake whenever no one was looking.
I got the baby, and didn’t tell anyone, because I couldn’t afford shampoo, let alone a cake.
Wow. I feel better. I’ve never told anyone that. Whew.
You are an evil, evil man, and you should feel very guilty. I hope it wasn’t a Thin Mint. If you took the last Thin Mint, you deserve punishment too horrible to even imagine.
I’m glad my Thin Mints are safe at home–I’m not sharing! I need them to make mini grasshopper cheesecakes.
I have nothing to confess. I’m so boring.
OK! OK! I confess! I did it! It was me! I did everything! I can’t live with the shame and guilt any longer! I’ve been tortured by my conscience! I confess!
What? You think I’d tell you what I did? 
Ok, on a little more serious (but not too serious) note, I confess to paying £3:75 to watch ‘Mean Girls’ on Box Office the other night.
Did you masticate?
Or had Hal Briston stolen the last of your biscuits without throwing away the tin?
Ximinez: Right! If that’s the way you want it – Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: It doesn’t seem to be hurting her, lord.
Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez: Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch…THE COMFY CHAIR!
I confess, I have nothing of substance to add to this thread.
I’m innocent! Innocent, I tells ya! Geraldine made me do it.
I’ve been messing around with a married man that I used to work with.
Um, Hal. You know that cookie you ate? I’m sorry, man. I thought that other co-worker was going to eat it. You know which one. Yeah, that one. So I coughed all over it.
Uh, sorry about that.
Oh, alright… my boss was just dictating text to me and I am not gonna correct his, “…mailing to complementative zones.” line. Not gonna do it! I confess!! I am leaving his grammar unchecked!!! Try and stop me! Ha ha hah ha ha ha ha!!! Suffer all you small business owners that get this stinking pile of tripe!!!
That’s ok…it ain’t like you’re going to get me sick. 
Sometimes… I… ummm… takethegymtowelshomeandusethemtowashtheCAR! :eek:
<phew> I feel so relieved now. Like a weight’s been lifted. <sob>
REPENT SINNER!!!
I, uh, well…
Y’know that mess a few weeks ago with the African drums, and the banna-creme pie filling?
Yeah… That was me.
I’ve smoked about 4 cigarettes today. And I’m going for my fifth right now…