Embarrassing confessions

Given that:

  • I hate talk shows
  • I really hate self-improvement pap that’s been overproduced for mass consumption
  • I really, really hate pompous, sanctimonious jerkwads
  • I really, really, REALLY hate Dr Phil

It is strange and more than a little embarrassing for me to admit that I am hopelessly addicted to the Dr Phil show.

(I can’t bear Montel Williams, tho. This makes me feel that all is not lost: my sanctimonious jerkwad-meter is still functional in that regard.)

Help me feel better. Tell me about the secret obsessions (or other embarrassing things) that you don’t want your IRL friends to know about.

I am:

An extremely lazy underachiever
Self hateful
Working out of my home office, but should be on the road every day
Obsessed with my weight and food in general
In love with my parakeet
Afraid to have children in the fear that they I will pass on my anxiety disorder and depression

I watch:

The Dr. Phil Show
Three’s Company
The Girls Next Door

I used to watch (and still would if I could!)

Jerry Springer
Howard Stern on E!
The Tom Green Show

I am a scientist. Supposedly, a brilliant critical thinker. Everyone comes to me for solutions because I can weed through all the crap and get down to what’s important. That being said…

When I’m on pain meds, I’ll buy anything. Stuff that you know is *crap * suddenly seems brilliant. My injuries are the sole reason there are infomercials. I’ve been accused of having Ron Popeil on speed dial.

Also, I watch the stupid crap the History Channel shows when they think no one is watching. You know, Hitler’s Missing Love Child, Secrets of the Illuminati, Bermuda Triangle = Black Hole, Lost Worlds, whatever. I know it’s illogical and a waste of my time, but I watch it anyway.

I watch Days of Our Lives and The Bold and the Beautiful on my lunch break.

I like cheap white bread better than “the good stuff”.
I prefer Kraft macaroni ‘n’ cheese to “the good stuff”
I don’t change my sheets often enough.

I actually liked the movie Xanadu.

Heck, I like a lot of “chick flicks”. I guess I’m just a romantic at heart.

I know way more than I should about celebrities. I don’t go out of my way to watch entertainment shows or read magazines about them, but somehow I know every little current detail of who is marrying/divorcing whom, who is having a baby with whom, etc. I don’t know these people; I will never meet these people; why should I care in the slightest who is doing what with whom?

I’m a guy and I love James Blunt’s music.

I love Deal or No Deal, and I yell at the tv.

Howie Mandel: “I’m sorry but all you get to walk away with is $5.”
Me: “hahaha thats what you get you stupid whore.”

I own a copy of the Backstreet Boys’ “Millenium” CD and both Spice Girls’ CDs.
I love collecting Archie comics.
I can’t get to sleep in the dark.

hides face in shame

I’m sure I’m not as smart as people tell me I am. I’m convinced I’ll be outed as a moron in smart clothing one of these days.

ETA: Kyth… I went to Backstreet Boys concerts. Once, when they did 4 shows in Montreal within a week, I had tickets to two of them.

  • I like playing with my nether regions that rhyme with bowlin’

  • I once kicked my friend in the nuts with a wooden shoe and laughed about it

  • I listen to J-Pop waaaay too much. かわいいだから! because it’s cute

  • I will insist that I’m fat even though I know I’m actually not. This drives people bonkers.

  • I r burning your dog :smiley:

That made me laugh really really hard, because that’s pretty much me while watching “America’s Next Top Model.”

“Cry! Cry, bitch! Tyra wants tears and redemption!”

Fowlin’? Towlin’? Gowlin’? Showlin’? Powlin’? Gorgonzolin’?

Hey, leave the poor pooches out of this!

  • I own the “Greatest Hits of Petula Clark” AND “the Greatest Hits of Mama Cass.”

  • I eat at McDonald’s about once a month.

  • I think feet are sexy.

  • I’m 37 (38 in less than two months) and I have a MySpace profile.

I despise romance novels, but will read a Nora Roberts every six months or so. Please don’t tell my family!

Featherlou - I’m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t get the reference.


I took it to mean

bowlin = colon

which is ewww. Be normal like the rest of us and just play with your willy.

There is no normal on The Dope :wink:

And dont worry about my willy, he gets plenty of love too.

Just wash your hands between sessions.

I’ve been watching “America’s Next Top Model” since its first season. I feel kinda guilty, but I keep on watching.

Now I’m hooked on an ANTM ripoff in which the next Pussycat Doll is sought.

Help! I’m addicted to schlocky bimbo reality shows!

I am the person who buys the $1 documentaries. You know, the ones at the 99 cent store, Wal-Mart, etc. If I see an educational movie of any sort and it is something I can afford I have to take it home with me, like I think it is a puppy at the pound. Since a dollar is something I can afford to spend I own all of the documentaries I find at the dollar store. I found one that is a part of a series (the CNN Milennium series to be exact) at the 99 cent store and I want the rest of them but I can’t find them anywhere. I looked up the series but it is $100 for the set on VHS and that is too expensive for me. :frowning: