The Congresswoman with the crazy eyes.

[BrainGlutton]

From this week’s Democratic Underground “Top 10 Conservative Idiots:”

**5. Michelle Bachmann **

Picture the scene at GOP headquarters as the health care reform battle slowly draws to a conclusion…

Republican Consultant #1: So let’s see. We’ve done “Death Panels.”

Republican Consultant #2: Yup.

Republican Consultant #1: That didn’t work.

Republican Consultant #2: No.

Republican Consultant #1: And we’ve done “Government Takeover.”

Republican Consultant #2: Uh huh.

Republican Consultant #1: And that didn’t work.

Republican Consultant #2: Not really.

Republican Consultant #1: And we’ve done the whole “Socialism” thing.

Republican Consultant #2: Yes.

Republican Consultant #1: And that didn’t work.

Republican Consultant #2: Um… no.

Republican Consultant #1: Hmm. What’s left on the list?

Republican Consultant #2: That’s it I’m afraid. Well…

Republican Consultant #1: What?

Republican Consultant #2: It’s nothing.

Republican Consultant #1: No, you said “well…” - Well what? It’s not “Communist Vampires Will Feast On Your Kidneys” again is it? I told you already we’re not doing that.

Republican Consultant #2: No… Bob had an idea. But I’m warning you, he came up with this in the middle of a six-hour hookers-and-blow marathon down at C Street.

Republican Consultant #1: Go on.

Republican Consultant #2: We get Michelle Bachmann to announce from the House floor that if health care reform passes, Planned Parenthood will put sex clinics in schools and give secret free abortions to 13-year-olds.

Republican Consultant #1: Ha ha! Oh… you were being serious. Okay.

Salon, October 1, 2009:

Speaking on the floor of the House of Representatives, the Minnesota Republican warned parents everywhere that if Democrats’ healthcare reform legislation passes, school clinics will become controlled by Planned Parenthood and turned into sex clinics that promote abortions free of parental consent for 13-year-old girls.

Bachmann said: “And written in this bill is a provision whereby Planned Parenthood could become a proprietor for school-based clinics in every school across United States. These have been more accurately called school sex clinics … And as a matter of fact, the bill goes on to say what’s going to go on – comprehensive primary health services, physicals, treatment of minor acute medical conditions, referrals to follow-up for specialty care – is that abortion? Does that mean that someone’s 13 year-old daughter could walk into a sex clinic, have a pregnancy test done, be taken away to the local Planned Parenthood abortion clinic, have their abortion, be back and go home on the school bus that night? Mom and dad are never the wiser.”