The Continuing Adventures of My Freaky Co-Worker

My co-worker… an incredibly sweet, naive, little thing.

You may remember her from past posts. She is the one who hums tunelessly all day. Just the one tone “hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.” Drives us all crazy, but little is to be done but to try to drown her out with one’s own mantra: “Don’t yell at her, she’ll cry… Don’t yell at her, she’ll cry…”

Or, you may perhaps remember her for her odd habit of wearing a wedding dress to work on occasion (but not since Labor Day as it would be gauche to wear white.)

Today, I was walking past her desk in our open-concept office. And a little voice in my head said “She looks like she’s five years old.” I paused en route to the office supply cabinet. “That was odd,” I thought to myself, “where ever did I get such a notion?”

So I turned to look at her more closely, so I could determine to what exactly my little voice was rerferring. Again the little voice in my head said “She looks like she’s five years old.”

I looked at her clothing. Turquoise high-heels, red leather pants, fluffy, black, faux-fur sweater. Nope nothing there that would suggest “five-year-old.” I looked more closely, then asked:

“FreakLady,” (not her real name) “did you change your hair?”

“Yes,” she said, beaming with pride, “I cut my hair!”

Now, discerning Dopers will have taken note of her choice of words. She did not say “I got a haircut.” No. She did not say that. She said: “I cut my hair.”

There are some people who can grab a pair of scissors and tame the stray cowlicks and subdue the unwieldy locks. Some are talented do-it-yourself clippers who can flip their hair back, take scissors to it, and achieve results worthy of the finest salons – FreakLady is not one of those people.

She reminds me of the Judy Blume character “Fudge” who cut is hair and put it in the turtle bowl in Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.

She does indeed look like a five-year-old who was left unsupervised with the arts-and-crafts supplies.

I think it’s the bangs.

You work with Peg Bundy? :eek:

Nothing in your post sent up any red flaggs for me except one: The wedding dress. Are we talking a white dress that looks like a wedding dress? Or are we talking about a bonafide wedding dress?

Otherwise, she seems …unique

Maybe we should introduce her to Pwincess Pwecious, for scientific reasons of course, just to see who annoys the other the most.

Too dangerous. What if they actually get along, and EC’s coworker picks up the Pwincess’s speech impediment, and the coworker gives the Pwincess some fashion tips? Eve would kill us.

shudder Must… scrape… image… from… brain! :eek:

No, she’s not the “sleazy bingo-queen” kind. Just a really, really naive person with a really, really unusual sense of style… and weirdness.

She spent a week calling French-only-speaking businesses to track down some missing invoices, but she doesn’t speak a single word of French herself.

She’d call a business, get the main switchboard and ask: “Oh, does anyone there speak English?” No, of course not. So she would say “Okay, I find someone who speaks French.” Then she’d put the receptionist on hold and go door to door in our building asking “Do you speak French? No?.. Do you speak French? No?..”

After going around our entire office, she’d go back to her phone and was always amazed that the receptionist she’d called had hung up.

Then she’d call the next French-speaking business…

It’s an honest to Og wedding dress. Very nice an sophisticated actually. It’s the fitted, well-tailored kind (not poofy), white satin with a beaded and lace bolero jacket (kind of a very fancy, beaded, adult version of this fower girl’s. You have to picture it fancier and the jacket is this kind of quality, but more satin.) It caused some confusion the first three or so times she wore it. Everyone kept asking “Oh! Are you going to a wedding after work?”

In all fairness is kind of corporate-looking, but it is unmistakably a wedding dress.

Yeah, but think of the threads we’d get ! :smiley:


My mom works with her too!

I need to see a picture of this lady, hopefully in her wedding dress.

Hm, you think her wearing the wedding dress is an expression of hope? :stuck_out_tongue:

I dunno, these fashion facts seem in the realm of a five-year-old playing “dressup” to me.

I mean, I’m a geek with no personal sense of style whatsoever, and *Turquoise * with Red? Yikes.

I’ve been hoping to take a snap shot, but she hasn’t worn the thing since the summer. Not since Labor Day.

I’m not sure if it’s an issue of “white being out of season” or if someone from her church group discreetly told her she’s wearing a wedding dress (or fancy bridesmaid’s dress.)

Truly, she is a sweet, sweet woman. Always smiling with the very best of intentions. She drives us batshit with the multitude of weird, annoying habits (she’s not allowed to boil fish in the microwave anymore(, but no one has the heart ot totally lose their temper with her. It’s kind of like having a little kid in the office. I sometimes feel guilty for feeling exasperated when she really gets on my nerves.

When I found out her age, I must admit I asked someone if she was developmentally handicapped. Apparently, she’s not. However, her naivete is excessive to the point where some of us were shocked to find out she’s 40. She operates like a big, dumb kid. So that’s the office dynamic. People are patient with her as if she was a big, dumb kid. Everyone is really sweet and gentle with her… and they explain things really slowly. Kinda like a parent answering the question “what does mommy do at work?”

Once in awhile though, we have our “WTF moments”. Like today, with her “unusual” new hairdo. Or when she was obsessed with SARS, wore a mask all day, and called all her friends every hour to see if anyone had symptoms yet. :rolleyes"

You work with Miss Havisham? Is there an office boy named Pip?

Seriously, do you think maybe she bought it because she was engaged, then something happened to end the relationship, so she figures she might as well wear it to get some use out of it (That is the most normal explaination I can think of).

And she seriously cut her own hair? People do that?

Is she, or has she been married?

Nope, she’s never been engaged and she bought it last year in the spring (note: she seems to like shiny clothes). We just don’t think she ever realized it was a wedding dress.

There are a few boutiques around here that sell remaindered stuff, so if a wedding gown shop dumped some excess stock it could have ended up in one of these shops.

The first day she wore it, she looked perplexed whenever anyone walked passed asked if she was going to a wedding after work. She didn’t seem to understand why they were asking.

No, she is not married, has never been married (as far as she has ever indicated). She has never even mentioned a boyfriend, and when she shows us pictures of her travels and friend’s birthday party there has never been a guy. The only time there was a man near her in a photo, she explained he was a member of their Bible study group.

Oh, and in case anyone is going to ask if she’s gay, definitely not. At the company Christmas party, she asked if Sniffs_Markers was my roommate. She was told that Sniffs is my girlfriend and looked perplexed. I think she still thinks we just meant “friend who is a girl”. She’s wooshed by the notion of a same sex partner. She’s kinda sheltered that way, I guess. “Gay” means those dressed up people you see on pride day.

Maybe she was just bored. I was so bored I cut my own hair once. It was fun. I was far less bored during and afterwards. My mom hated it, but only after I told her I did it myself.

Did she do her bangs with pinking shears? That’s always a stylish look.

She sounds like fun - how soon can you send her over?


My mom has been cutting her own hair for years. She sets up 3 mirrors and she does it mainly by feel, using a razor cutter. I defy anyone to find evidence that it’s been hacked non-professionally.

I used to do my hair myself, too, years ago. I got too lazy to continue, but it really isn’t that hard for the type of style I wore. I never used scissors, tho - just a razor cutter.