Did my freaky cow-orker scam a free dinner outta me???

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So, you may remember my wedding dress-wearing cow-orker, FreakLady (not her real name), who hums tunelessly all day long. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

So, she’s not my most favouritest co-worker, no. But she has been humming less (intereferes too much with perpetual eating) and she no longer seems to wear the wedding dress as standard office attire, thanks to another co-worker who has taken her shopping and encouraged less matrimonal ensembles.

Nonetheless, she still often bugs the snot out of me. But I try to maintain a professional decorum.

Friday was a former co-worker’s birthday, and a group of us headed out to celebrate at a fine French restaurant called “Chez Very Expensif”. FreakLady was invited. We had a grand time with excellent appetizers, the entrées were superb, and desserts excellent.

FreakLady had to leave to a attend an event the following morning, so she left us immediately after we finished our main courses.

My bill came to $50. Tsk! A touch more than I was planning to spend.

However, I ended up coughing up $85. A LOT more than I was planning to spend.

FreakLady forgot to pay her tab. :dubious:

Okay, she’s not the most polished nut in the squirrel’s nest. She forgot. And while we were still there, she did call a co-workers cell number:

“NaaAAaanncyyyYYYyyyy, I forgot to leave money on the taaAAAaaAAable…”

(You know how Bill Cosby does the voice of “The Informer” – “MoooOOooom, guess what?” – It was just like that.)

Nancy passed the phone to me, since I’d already paid it. “No, problem, I’ve cover it and you can pay me back on Monday. But DON’T forget!” I said. “Okay,” answered FreakLady, “Tank you. I pay you back Monday.”

She negelected to mention that she wasn’t working Monday. :smack:

So here it is Tuesday. FreakLady has already gone home for the day, “See you tomorrow, Eat_Kayak.” (Never gets my name right, grrrrrr!)

No mention of the $35 bucks she owes for her bill. :mad: So now I’m sitting and wondering how I can politely remind that mouthbreather to gimme my dough! (And I mean “mouthbreather” literally. When she has to walk from Point A to Point B, she goes slack-jawed with a toothy grin.) And I am quite convinced that she really did just forget 'cause she really is mind-bobblingly dumb!

Miss Manners, Miss Manners, help me craft a reminder!

Preferably before I go apeshit!

2

Leave this up on your work computer? :wink:
If you believe it to have honestly slipped her mind, just catch her in a semi-coherent phase and tell her you hate to bother her, but you need the money owed as you had it earmarked for a bikini wax.
That oughta do it. :slight_smile:

3

Yeah, I’ll be reminding her tomorrow. But if she doesn’t have the cash right on her, I’ll likely be reminding her for a few weeks. It usually takes things a long time to get through the cotton in her cranium.

It will be “Oh! I forgot! Sorry, Eat_Kayak! I bring it tomorrow, okay?”

And then she’ll forget tomorrow.

I’m not kidding. She is really sweet, and would never be a deliberate boob, but she cannot “walk and chew gum at the same time” if you know what I mean.

I should magic marker something on her arm, 'cause this is going to be tough.

4

Offer to drive her to the ATM at lunch.

5

Funny, I was going to suggest a note pinned to the back of her jacket.

Similar versions: Home email or number? Email or leave a message where she’ll be likely to get it at home and maybe bring it next day.
Give her the receipt if you have it, make a copy for you first, or give her the copy; the bigger the reminder, less likely she’ll lose it. Cirlce her portion.
Kind of like a bill, but from the restaurant.
I find that usually works without being too pushy.
Good luck!

is there a “finders fee” if the advice works? :wink:

6

Write “I owe Eats Crayons $35” on a post-it note. Attach it to her computer screen.

If that doesn’t work, write “53$ snoyarC staE ewo I” on a post-it note and staple it to her forehead.

That oughta do the trick. She’ll see it everytime she washes her hands.

7

BWA-HA-HA-HA! Funny! You think she washes her hands!

8

Get a large male friend (preferably with a bent nose) to dress in a black suit and come to her cube.

“You own Eats_Crayons some money. Eats_Crayons doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

9

Eat_Kayak, if she doesn’t pay you, I will as I get so much enjoyment out of your posts. (Don’t hold me to that). I must have a dull life.

Is she really that dumb?

:stuck_out_tongue:

10

When I found out she was in her early 40s I was unable to stop myself – the words “oh, is she developmentally delayed?” popped out of my mouth. It wasn’t facetious, it was a genuine question. And a few others looked confused and somewhat in awe of the revelation “She’s 40!” as well.

Oh, and as far as anyone knows, she is not in fact developmentally delayed (from a clinical standpoint).

I’m not sure if it’s “dumbness” or “acute obliviousness.”

E.g./ She boiled fish in the office microwave… the stench of which sickened a few office workers and made the office smell disgusting for three days. Meeting had to be rescheduled elsewhere. New rule about “stinky food” implemented.

She really is a very sweet person, with no ill-will for anyone. There’s not a mean or vindictive bone in her body.

That actually makes it all the more frustrating.

When she drives you batshit you have to check your temper because it would be like yelling at a puppy that doesn’t understand what it’s done wrong. (My mantra: “Don’t yell at her, she’ll cry… Don’t yell at her she’ll cry…”)

11

You have my sympathies.

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I haven’t stopped laughing, though :smiley:

BTW, was the “cow-orker” spelling in the thread title on purpose? Does she look anything like a cow? (No offence meant, especially considering my username ;))

12

Eats_Crayons, you should get together with Eve and start a support group. You could call it, “Moo-Cow” which stands for “Must Overcome Oblivious COW-workers”. :smiley:

13

Purply, that’s a phrase that I believe originated in the Dilbert comic strip.

14

I use the following rule of thumb:

Esteemed colleague = “co-worker”

Idiot who takes up space and uses unnecessary oxygen = “cow-orker”

Dragwyr in a previous thread in which I mused over the way FreakLady had cut her own hair for the chic, preschooler-left-unsupervised-with-scissors look, someone said we should get Pwincess Pwecious together with FreakLady to see what would happen. I agree, it would be an interesting experiment:

Pwincess Pwecious: “Hewwo, FweakWady!”
FreakLady: “Hi, Pwincess Pencil. How are you today?”

Then we’ll see whose head explodes first.

15

Just keep reminding her.

I find these theads hilarious as well. Tell us more stories of the the mad co-worker. Just for curiousity’s sake, how much does she eat a day?

16

Is this one of those differences between men and women things?

When she’s back in the office say “Do you have that $ 35. dollars I covered for you the other day at lunch?”

She may be stupid, but why is it more complicated than that?

17

A beautiful OP, Eats_Crayons.

As for getting FreakLady and Pwicess Pwecious together… it’s likely that they would not interact. I’ve tried the experiment, always with the same results.
In college, my housemates & I threw some big parties. Always, two or three losers/weirdos/totally boring people/complete geeks showed up an hour early. We could not get them to entertain each other while we finished preparing for the party; they always glommed onto one of us, driving us nuts and keeping us from accomplishing anything. They repel each other, just like they repel others.

I’ve also tried the experiment of getting together a male casa nova with a female piranha. Same result – they wouldn’t even acknowledge each other’s existence.

18

Hark! A miracle! Success on the first try. (Unheard of with her.)

She came in to the office kitchen.

“Oh hi, FreakLady. Hey, don’t forget you still have your restaurant tab from the other night.”

“Oh,” she said. Then she turned around and ran away. :confused:

Her smurf-blue pumps clattering on the hardwood floors as she ran down the hall.

CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK…

“The hell?” I thought to myself. “Did she think I was aiming for a pound of flesh?”

CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK…

She poked her head around the corner. “Eat_Kayak, how much do I owe?”

I told her and she ran off again.

CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK…

…

…

…

CLACK CLACK CLACKCLACK CLACK CLACKCLACK CLACK CLACK…

“Here, Eat_Kayak. Thank you for paying. I forgot the other night.”

Wow!

And I mean, really WOW!!! Normally, even though she’s not malicious and has no bad intentions, she forgets things. Mind like a sieve.

I’m so happy! dabs tear from eye Historically, it’s been so hard, yet this time Og has smiled down on me! Since I bought new laptop, I’ve been destitute so that $35 was actually a big deal. YAAAAAAY! She had cash on her! RAH! RAH! RAH!

All that anxiety for nothing! sigh of relief

astro You may note that a few times in this thread I DID in fact say I would be reminding her, but that the problem is that if she does not have cash with her, she will likely be needed to be reminded for weeks to come. She does not remember things well ( <–understatement ). She could be in the sequel to Memento.

E.g./ A co-worker invited her to a party. The Monday after the party. FreakLady called her extention asking if there was “another party this weekend.” No. An hour later, FreakLady called her extension to ask if there was “another party this weekend.” No, there’s not. An hour later, FreakLady called her extension to ask if there was “another party this weekend.” No. No party. An hour later…

19

FreakLady is a very good-natured and passive person. Although she is very, very weird ( <–understatement) she likes just about everybody. Except for the people that she eventually made snap and yell at her. She thinks they are Mean People.

So she would probably sit quietly and be thoroughly entertained by Pwincess Pwecious and her cutsey-woosty way of talking.

She does have some interesting stories to tell, because she is well-travelled (though naïve), so you can get interesting descriptions of places if you ask her.

I’ve learned I can get along with her just fine as long as I wear earplugs in the office to block out her humming and the cringe twitch twitch “eating noises.” Problems only arise when her “odd habits” push beyond your patience threshold.

Sometimes, I must admit I do wonder if some of her vagueness is to cover up a brilliant alter-ego…

20

So the tuneless humming is really some sort of secret code being sent to the Hall of Justice?