The Continuing Adventures of Slim McLeod

Cafe Society
1

I floated this idea to Baker a while back; now that we’re between the Science Fiction Story and a Return to Anderson’s Gulch, this seems like a good time.

First, some background. Abner “Slim” McLeod is a gambler by trade, one of the best in the country. He normally wouldn’t stray far from the Mississippi riverboats that he’s used to but news of a big game in San Francisco attracted his attention.

He doesn’t handle firearms very well except at close range, not much further than the diameter of a poker table.

He has a tendency to get himself mixed up in dangerous situations, usually by getting lost. This is how he ended up in Anderson’s Gulch. He likes to kill time by regaling people with stories of his adventures.

After finally getting some rest in the Silverlode, Slim made it to Leadville. He sold the horse he had bought for the northerly leg for the trip and a few nicknacks he had won along the way. In all, he nearly broke even on the original cost of the horse.

The train ride to From Leadville to Denver to Cheyenne was uneventful. Slim mainly kept to himself the whole way, wondering if he’d even make it to San Francisco in time to get his stake in. He should be able to relax a bit once he’s on the Union Pacific to California. At least then he’ll be headed in the right direction again without any chance of getting lost.

2

Arriving in Cheyenne in the morning Slim checked the railroad schedule tables for the trip to San Francisco, and was pleased to note that he should be able to make it in time, barring the unforseen. The train wouldn’t leave until later that night, but he bought a ticket right away, because the clerk at the window said that there didn’t seem to be too many spaces left.

Slim spent the time getting a meal and then a bath. He hated to travel feeling dirty. He boarded the train and had to take a seat next to another passenger, one who had that indefinable air of “the law”. After a brief lookover of each other the two travelers introduced themselves. “I’m Abner McLeod. My friends call me Slim.” “Pleased to meet you. I’m Cunningham, Sheriff Tom Cunningham.”

3

Sheriff Cunningham pulled out a book and tried to read but found it hard to concentrate. He set the book on his lap and gazed out the window, his mind on a criminal he’d been after. “‘Life on the Mississippi’,” said Slim, reading the book’s title. “That his latest?”

Sheriff Cunningham turned back toward Slim. “Yeah. Have you read it?”

“No, sir.” He chuckled. “But that might as well be me he’s writing about there.”

“How so?”

“I’ve spent most of my life on the river. Oh, the stories I could tell!”

4

The Sheriff shot Slim an incredulous look. “Funny, you don’t look like a riverboat pilot.”

Slim smiled. “That was one of my sidelines. My trade is games of chance, poker in particular, but there are times when I need to supplement my income. So, I take on odd jobs. Preferably ones that don’t involve manual labor. Even ran into Joe Glidden once and helped him sell barbed wire.”

The Sheriff was silent for a moment. “Ever been a bounty hunter?”

“Once or twice. Why?”

5

The Sherrif gave him a long hard look much like that of rattler ready pounce. As he opened his mouth to speak he found thin pale man in front of him.

“Pardon sirs, mind if I join you?” Said the stick of a man.

Before anyone could respond he sat gingerly in front of them. He gave a toothy grin that was more frightened than friendly.

Slim looked at the man and as he did with any card player he tried to quickly size the man up.

The man had a look and mannor told the two passangers that he was not one of them. His face was pale and gaunt and his curled mustache reminded Slim of the pictures of royalty on the covers of those penny mgazines he avoided reading. The man’s clothing seemed too tight in some places and far too wide in others. It was definitly a European cut, almost all European. French Vest, English jacket and pants that seemed to come from the Eastern parts. The shoes were Italian leather and they seemed to stand out most of all.

His battered derby seemed to say poverty but the rings and gleeming pocket watch said something else. Who could this stranger be.

6

“Maximilian Montreal,” he said softly, noticing how Slim and the Sheriff stared. “Hope I’m not disturbing you.” He offered another nervous smile, and twisted the thick gold ring on his left pinkie.

Slim smiled back. “Well, now, Max - may I call you Max? - headed for San Francisco, are you?”

Max raised an eyebrow. “If that’s where the train’s going, then I guess I must be.”

The Sheriff had gone quiet. His mouth hung slightly open, and Slim could detect a definite spark of recognition in his eyes. Surely, the Sherrif knew Max, and that had to be one hell of a story.

7

The conductor’s voice rang through the coaches. “Pacific Flyer! Bound for Laramie, Ogden, Sacramento, and Saaan Francisco! All 'board!”

As the train pulled away from the station, a delicate hand fell upon Slim’s shoulder. “Evenin’, gents. Hello, Abner.”

8

“UH… Evening miss… miss…”
Slim squinted his eyes trying to recognize the beautiful face gazing down upon him.

“Everhsham. I can’t believe you have forgotten me after all these years, Slim.”

“Uh… of course not,” Slim’s face betrayed his confusion. Despite all the years of gambling he could never seem to bluff a beautiful woman. “It was back in Memphis was it not?”

She gigled politely as she sat beside Maximillian who bristled at her touch. “Oh Slim, always the poor liar,” She said with a quaint southern lilt.

“Well ma’am… I think it says plenty about a man if he can’t remember a georgious woman such as your self. If it were a crime, and it should be, I’d hang him for it,” Cunningham said galantly kissing the top of her hand.

“Uhhh hmmm,” Montreal grunted trying to move closer to the window. “The weather seems to be turning. I hope this trip is uneventful.”

Cunningham shot a dangerous glance toward the slight gentlman
“I’m sure it will be Max.”

9

Slim thought long and hard, but he still could not remember ever having met Miss Everhsham before today. Yet somehow she knew him. He wondered if he should just admit he couldn’t remember her and would she please refresh his memory.

Slim would be mighty shocked if he could hear the thoughts going on in Max’s mind right about now.

Max tried to sit as close as he possibly could up against the window. He fumed and did his best to ignore the person seated beside him. How would Miss Everhsham react if Max were to reveal to the others seated nearby that “she” was really a “he” who performed on many a stage as a female impersonator? And a damn good one, too. Max had seen Everhsham’s shows and marveled at how all the members of the audience loved “her”.

Max wondered what Everhsham was up to by riding this train while dressed in “her” stage costume.

Just stay out of my way, Max thought to himself, and I won’t have to hurt you.

Slim decided to come clean and admit to Miss Everhsham that he didn’t remember her before today.

“Miss Everhsham, you have the advantage of me. On what part of this earth did you grace with your beauty the day we first met?” asked Slim.

Oh, brother, thought Max as he rolled his eyes.

10

“But Abner, don’t you remember?”, Miss Everhsham inquired back.

“Um, no, actually, the event as such completely escapes my memory. Do enlighten me, please!”

“Abner dahling. I don’t want to embarrass you in front of these fine gentlemen - are you sure you want me to tell you here?”

The reply confused Slim even more - what ever did she mean by that? Why would I be more embarrassed than I already am? “No, please, Miss Everhsham, tell me”

“Well it was over at Mrs.Thatcher’s Inn, silly. Don’t you remember we spent the night together?”

At hearing this, Maximilian Montreal burst out laughing. He tried to control himself by biting his lips, but to no avail. He ran out of the cabin head over heels, much to the surprise of the sheriff and Slim.

Slim’s face had turned a slight shade of scarlet, and was too baffled to muster up a reply.

11

Miss Everhsham leaned over in in his real husky voice said…

“The night you lost you entire winnings to my royal flush…”

“Everet?” Slim said while a widening grin spead across his face

“Everet Everhsham! You dirty dog I can’t believe it’s you!” Slim jumped up and patted the strangely dressed man on the shoulder all the while ignoring the Sherriff who’s colour slowly melted from his face. “Last I heard you were on the lamb from Big Deke!”

“Still am,” Everhsham said tugging at his dress to emphasize his plight, “Who’d know he had someone watching me from another room. Nothing worse than a card cheater!”

“Especially when he catches you cheating first.” Slim said with a chuckle.

Cunningham’s eyes lit up suddenly as he scrutinized the man in the bustle.

“So you’re a girl now.” Slim said with wonder.

“Been one for nearly a year now and I’ll tell you the routine I have to go through each day is more than I can bear. I tell you it’s murder.”

Cunningham stood up and grabbed Everhsham by the arm at that point.

“Oh it’ll be murder all right…Miss”

12

With an indignant look, Everhsham inquired, “Whatever do you mean?”

“The fella who just lit out of here. I’d wager he’s up to something.” As Cunningham sat back down, Everhsham caught a glimpse of the badge under his jacket.

“Who is he?”

“Calls himself Max Montreal, but I doubt it’s his real name. I know I’ve seen him somwhere before.”

Everhsham decided to change the subject. “So, Slim, what have you been up to?”

“Well, last year I tried to outwit Jesse James in St. Joseph. One of his own men turned on him before I got a chance.”

13

Slim could not get over how attractive Everet was as a girl. New feelings began to stir inside of him, feelings he never dreamed he’d ever have.

I don’t care that he’s a guy, Slim thought. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my entire life.

“Where will you be staying in San Francisco, Everet?” asked Slim.

“I haven’t decided yet. Depends on what hotel rooms are available.”

“Well, if there’s a shortage of rooms, maybe we could share one.”

Slim was already fantasizing of what he’d like to do with Everet once they arrived at a nice hotel.

Everet stared at Slim.

“You know, Abner, just because I dress like a girl, doesn’t necessarily mean I’m trying to attract men.”

“Why ARE you dressed like that then?” asked Cunningham. He was still irritated at having been made to look like a fool earlier.

“Ever seen me on stage?”

Everet reached into his bag and pulled out a brochure. It had two pictures of him. One as Everet the man and one that showed Everet dressed in female costume. The caption read “Everet / Eve”.

Cunningham stared at the brochure. “You’re one of those female impersonators?”

“Yes, he sure is, and a damn good one, too.”

They looked up to see who had spoken. It was Max. He was back and he grinned a toothy grin.

14

Meanwhile in San Francisco a telegram was delivered to one Big Deke who read it and grinned an even bigger toothy grin than that of Max Montreal.

The telegram was from a friend of Big Deke informing him that Everet disguised as a girl had boarded the Pacific Flyer headed toward San Francisco. Big Deke’s friend had seen Everet’s stage performance and had recognized him as the card cheat who escaped from Big Deke’s wrath many months ago. He tailed Everet to see where the card cheat would be going.

“And it ain’t even my birthday!” said Big Deke. He had traveled to San Francisco a month ago for a family reunion. His plans to return home had been postponed, as luck would have it. Now he could be here to catch Everet and pay him back for cheating at cards. “I can finally have my revenge!”

15

The First night on the train was an uncomfortable affair for all. Cunningham fidgited restlessly trying not to think about the kiss on the and he gave to the man in the dress. Slim and Everet were drinking heavily and regailing each other in their adventures over the years. Slim was able to even join in to the finish of each of Everets stories as they seemed to end the same way.
“Then He discovered I was a man!” they both howled and broke into gales of drunken laughter. Max sat there quietly observing the goins on.

He had worried throughout the first few hours that Cunningham would have recognized him and even tried to bolt on the Stop over in Tuleds Pass but he knew he had to send a special telegram.

When Cunningham followed him he was sure Cunningham was coming to make the arrest. Luckily he was just sending his own telegram. Max decided to continue the trip just to make sure he could keep an eye on his charge.

Now Max sat there fighting sleep and boredom. Hopefully the next day would prove to be more interesting.

16

In another part of San Francisco a beautiful young woman named Evelyn smiled as she studied the brochure she received in the mail from her parents.

“That dear brother of mine,” said Evelyn to herself. “I can’t get over how much he looks like me when he’s dressed in his stage costume.”

Evelyn and her parents had stayed in touch since the day she moved out on her own. But she had lost touch with her fraternal twin brother Everet. She had no idea that he was on his way to San Francisco on board the Pacific Flyer. And Everet had no idea that his dear sister was now living in San Francisco and was doing very well.

Evelyn decided to get some fresh air.

“James, I’m going for a walk. I expect to return in about two hours,” she informed her butler.

“Yes, ma’am” said James.

An hour later Evelyn strolled through the city and enjoyed the scenery. Suddenly she heard loud footsteps coming toward her. She turned and found herself being held tightly by a very angry big man.

“Did you really think you could hide from me forever?” he growled at Evelyn. “Nobody cheats Big Deke at cards and gets away with it!”

Evelyn stared in confusion at the big man. His hands gripped her arms and held her tightly.

“Let go! You’re hurting me!” she cried.

“You think I’m hurting you? This is nothing compared to what I have planned for you! I don’t know how you’re here now when the train isn’t due to arrive here for a few more days, but I’m not letting you out of my sight until I’m finished with you!”

He dragged Evelyn into an alley out of sight from other people.

She tried to reason with her attacker.

“Sir, I think you have me confused with someone else. Have we met? I don’t even play cards, much less cheat anyone at cards!”

“Do you think I’m stupid? This ludicrous disguise of yours doesn’t fool me! Get out of that dress!”

“WHAT? How dare you! Unhand me at once!” screamed Evelyn.

17

“So, Everet,” said Slim. “Are there anymore like you at home?”

“Well, I do have a sister. A fraternal twin sister, actually.”

“What’s her name?”

“Evelyn. My parents like names that begin with the letter E.”

“What’s Evelyn like?”

“Sweet. But watch out for her temper. Don’t ever get her angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.”

Meanwhile, back in that alley in San Francisco, Big Deke was in a crumpled heap on the ground. He was moaning.

“I warned you to let go of me,” said Evelyn. She had freed herself from Big Deke’s grip by kicking him where no man ever wants to be kicked.

18

Unbeknownst to Max, another passenger had taken an interest in him. Not a lawman himself, at least not yet, Bill Tilghman had been living on his wits for the past dozen years.

19

Tilghman was something of a younger version of Slim in that he’s not particularly good with firearms and takes jobs wherever he can find them. He’s also pretty good at reading people. He had a bead on the first two occupants in the next cabin, the first held a badge of some sort and the second was a gambler. The third was an odd sort, probably up to no good. The fourth he couldn’t seem to figure out at all. Certainly an interesting group over there, he thought.

20

Slim and Everet were finally getting sleepy from all that drinking. Everet’s head rested on Slim’s shoulder.

“Abner,” said Everet, “I just want to be sure you understand I meant it when I said there is no way I will go to bed with you.”

“Right,” said Slim. “Absolutely no way. Got it.”

“Good,” said Everet. Then he dozed off with his head still resting on Slim’s shoulder.

Slim sleepily wrapped his arms around Everet. Just want to keep him from falling onto the floor, Slim told himself. Soon he drifted off into a deep slumber.

Cunningham and Max were seated across from the sleeping pair.

“I could use some shut-eye myself,” muttered Max. He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

Cunningham tried to stay awake to keep an eye on Max, but within a few minutes the sheriff fell asleep.

The train continued on its way to San Francisco.