Jesus drives the Gerasene demons out of the possessed man and into a herd of pigs. They promptly drown themselves in the sea of Galilee, depriving the local villagers of a valuable economic resource.
Disclaimer: Hopefully everyone will take this game in the spirit it is intended, that of fun.
Find people to poke fun at the Bible and Jesus? I’m sure you’ll have no trouble.
Fave semi-sacriligous, semi-religious joke:
Jesus is doing his rounds, and once again comes across a mob about to stone a woman to death for adultery. Fixing the mob with his steely eye, he challenges them, “Let whoever among you is without sin cast the first stone!”
The chastised mob looks at their feet. A few people at the edges begin to drift away. Then suddenly, from behind Jesus, a stone comes flying and smacks the woman square on the head. With a howl of glee, the mob lets loose a hail of rocks.
Jesus whirls around furiously and shouts: “MOM!!! I asked you please to STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND!”
Yes, Lord, I’ll do exactly as you say!
What the fuck is a cubit?
Where’s the corruption? The Gospel account SAYS that when the villagers heard about what Jesus had done, they told him to get out of town! (See Matthew 8). The Bible itself indicates that their reaction may very well have been EXACTLY what you say (“You ruined a perfectly good herd of pigs, for THOSE losers?”).
So I’m supposed to eat sushi and bread that has been handled by 10,000 other people? Do the public health authorities know about this?