I got a good laugh from this: Things That Will Never Happen to You, From the NY Times 'Vows' Column
The comments are absolutely the best part.
… What does speaking four languages have to do with being loved? Should JoseB or Johanna give up on love forever? Will learning a new language send even sven’s marriage into a spiral of destruction? 
The 'list that gradually devolves into thought fragments" is a bit old-hat, but an enjoyable read none-the-less. I give it four strangely misshapen wedding cake ornaments out of five.
Cartoon birds braid my hair only when I threaten to eat their eggs.
Well, I only speak 2.5 languages. Does that mean I at least get a couple of dates and maybe a canoe trip?
…dear old Dubrovnik…
Can’t hold a candle to Blawnox in the rainy season.
Okay, this made me get on weddings.com and look for their registry.
Does anyone want to go in on the $499.95 Painted Backyard Beehive Starter Kit?
Sure. Put me down for a buck.