The craziest conspiracy theory I've ever heard (the USPS did 9/11 with magnetic C4!)

The United States Postal Service committed the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks using C4 that magnetically pulled down steel that acts like plastic. But first, an introduction:

Chew on that for a while. Let it sink down into the bone.

Because there’s more to come:

Note that scalar weapons (1920s-style death rays) are already a notable part of some conspiracy theories. This is different: Nobody, to my knowledge, even the ones who think burning jet fuel cannot melt steel, believes steel is actually plastic.

At this point I lost it laughing. Cliff Clavin has problems, but… OK, I have to make it through this post.

Mr. Bill is right to fear C4. I don’t think even Mr. Bill fears the wrath of the Post Office.

Certification… that’s precisely what this guy needs. He’s certainly certifiable.

Again, I don’t know of anyone else who believes this. Even the people who think 9/11 was all about making a pipe through Afghanistan don’t quite believe it was an outright bank robbery.

Now, watch closely. This is from the same dude:

This is from someone else, still a 9/11 conspiracy theorist but not quite as nuts:

Even the Truthers have trouble buying this shit. But not to worry! Punctuation-man has a logical rebuttal:

Ayup. Basic physics if your ass is made out of exotic matter.

Theory … made … brain … break …


Alternately, I’ll have what he’s having.

Huh-huh… “Full colon”… huh-huh.

Having worked as a consultant at USPS HQ before, during, and after 9/11, I have to say that while it’s obvious this guy is crazy and ill-informed, asserting that USPS was behind it is at least 50000X more crazy and ill-informed than the rest of his spewings, and that’s a conservative estimate.

I bow to the nuttiness that is David hyphen Wynn full colon Miller.

Here’s my favorite theory: 9/11 Never Happened!

Singapore? Singapore…??

Whatever gives him the idea? Must be Batman Begins.

Right. His creative interpretation of gravity, his confusion of plastic with steel, and his magnetic C4 are all minor compared to his belief that the USPS could plan and carry out a successful terrorist attack. The bank robbery elements just add the final twist to the turd: Why would the USPS need to steal when it already has one of the most plum government-sanctioned monopolies ever? It’s like creating an elaborate ruse involving juggling midgets, a fake SWAT team, and John Brown’s body* to steal two pennies from the Take-a-Penny tray without leaving one.

*(Which has been freeze-dried on Mars. An actor was left moldering in the grave.)

C4 can only destroy plastics? I’M IMMUNE TO C4!
Also, steel behave plastically when stressed passed it’s yield strength, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what he was talking about. Mostly because he’s a nutbag.

I was going to say this is sad because the guy seems mentally ill, but “Who controls the military? The post office.” is fall-down funny.

And it’s the way he phrases it - as if it’s a fact that’s so well known that it doesn’t even need justifying. Weird.

Thats what you want us to think…traitor.

The guy has his own website: If someone can translate Wackjob into English, I’d really like to know what he’s saying.

Holy mother of shit. Check out the comments on that video. Warning: Head explosions may ensue.

Wait a sec - isn’t steel a plastic material? That is, it will deform under many conditions of stress, or exhibit plasticity. It’s not made from those polymers known collectively as plastics, but it is plastic.

So nut job is right about steel being plastic. Just not the way he means.

Every time you look at David-Wynn:Miller, there is more crazy. He’s also a tax protester/‘patriot’ and, boy, a whole lot more:

Russell Gould is the poor sap who got taken in by Miller’s rantings. He filed bogus lawsuits against local officials and police and, when brought to trial, acted every inch the kind of person who’d take David-Wynn:Miller seriously. How he could is a matter for people more highly trained than me, but perhaps this will help:

There’s a whole group or sub-group of mental illnesses that involves mutilating language. I see it way too often on the Internet for it to be a coincidence.

OtakuLoki: We can cherry-pick sense out of this crap just like we can pick patterns out of clouds. It says more about us than it does about Miller.

You probably don’t want that, FCM. I’ve drunk better homemade alcohol than whatever this guy’s on.

(Admittedly, it was my own homemade alcohol. But still…)

I know this is way too far down the rabbit hole to even bothering debating, but one thing that really kills me is that the towers collapsed in something like 18-21 seconds. It’s not debatable. It’s on video and seismic records agree. The fact that conspiracy nuts keep making up numbers that are lower blows me away. The fact that people believe them is almost beyond comprehension.

His website reads like most of the Spam I get.

Yeah…and I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids in their Mystery Machine!