I think it just depends on whether you’re a woman or a man.
Women know more crazy men; men know more crazy women.
The ‘crazy’ is defined in a way more likely to applied to women. But both men and women are susceptible to irrational behavior. It’s kind of what makes you human. I’m never irrational though, because although I’m a hybrid, most of my genes are Neanderthal. We consider all of you naked apes to be nutcases.
Bolded the very important part. I have found this to be true.
“Oh, but he seemed like such a nice man!”. Yeah, well he wasn’t.
Women have “the crazy” a little bit more than men. Men have “the mean” a whole lot more than women and it’s a lot worse.
HA! On a statistical basis that could be true!
Yes banged/dated/horizontal jogged with etc etc. I agree, although he has mellowed somewhat now.
I think it’s probably equal.
Men seem to be more willing to put up with the crazy if all they want out of the relationship is tail. Anecdotally - I’ve seen way, WAY more men get tangled up with the crazy than I have women - and dammit they just can’t seem to stay AWAY from the crazy once they’re hooked in.
Women seem to be less willing to put up with the crazy. Even if all they want out of the relationship is tail, there’s plenty of SANE tail out there available to women who will come by, do the deed and leave without a bunch of drama.
Oooh … I think that’s way debatable. Women can be 10 times crueler than men --especially as teenagers.
“The crazy” is socially defined as NOT part of being a woman. It’s a corrupting influence against her feminine nature.
“The mean,” as you call it, is socially defined as PART of being a man. It must be disciplined, sublimated, channeled, but it MUST be there or there is no masculine nature.
Discuss.
Totally wrong. Do you think someone like, say George Clooney, who I assume is considered a good masculine specimen in popular culture, has ‘mean’ as part of the characteristics that makes him masculine?
At the very bottom, a man has to be tough, which means knowing when and how to be mean to himself - to discipline himself to serve his own will, even if he never directly makes another submit to him.
Uh… whut?
If men have to be mean to themselves, because that is your definition of self-discipline (which is insane to me) how is it possible that women are not also “mean” in this same way? Are you saying that self-discipline is unfeminine? If so, how is being erratic and emotionally needy NOT a huge part of femininity if you define it thusly? it seems to me that if you define masculinity the way you do , “the crazy” with its utter lack of emotional or sexual discipline, becomes the definition of the feminine, not its antonym. thus showing that your definitions of both masculine and feminine are pathological.
He can be a little aloof and sarcastic (at least the characters he plays. I don’t know what he’s like IRL).
On aloofness and sarcasm:
Being a smartass, which as a mean element to it, is much more associated with men than women. Look at how lopsided comedy is (especially comedians who have to write their own stuff rather than look pretty as in sitcoms).
Look at this forum, ShotFromGuns is the only consistent female smartass I can think of here.
So, yes, traits such as emotional distance and somewhat aggressive/offensive humor are much more associated with men than women.
That’s entirely possible. I’m chronically depressive, socially phobic, and semi-reclusive, and Dopers know me to spout some crazy dark shit about humanity from time to time.
I also admit I’m not willing to assume any internal logic in defining gender norms. Society does it however society likes, and god knows that’s far from logical.
But maybe it will strike you as a little less pathological if I tell you that there is a capacity for loving discipline, towards oneself or others - but that it is very strongly typed as feminine in our society. But that is not the kind of discipline that gets you out there competing and pushing your limits every day. That - in my own deeply flawed personal experience, anyway - requires an iron first that’s willing to take off the velvet glove and say, “Obey, damn you. Submit.”
Statistically, men are more likely to suffer from psychological imbalances (the one X problem). The reason that men are more likely to call partners ‘the crazy’ is because, as others have pointed out, when men exhibit ‘the crazy’, they are more likely to be called ‘abusive’ or ‘creepy’. Also, my own experience has been that men are more likely to tolerate imbalanced and socially awkward partners than women are.
When men says “the crazy” what they mean is “she wants me more than I want her.” Actual honest-to-goodness crazy is probably more prevalent in men than women, though.