The Crimson Curse, or To Eat a Pomegranate

I love pomegranates. I really do. Since they’re something of specialty item hereabouts, they tend to be expensive and on the low end in terms of quality. So you can imagine my surprise and delight when I saw them for sale in Sam’s (a bulk/warehouse sort of store). Huge, beautiful pomegranates. I couldn’t resist, and bought six. I ate one, sitting in front of my computer. Wearing a white shirt. All the individual drips, spills, and splotches have been smudged into a broad purplish stain on my desk, my keyboard, and most of all, my shirt. Damn. I think I need another pomegranate.

So, is there any way to eat these things without staining anything and everything? I keep thinking I’ll hit upon some wondrous technique, and be able to pop out all those tasty seeds in no time flat without spewing the staining juice all over.

Nope, there is no way on this earth to eat pomegranates without the mess. It’s half of the fun. Just like eating…[sub]oops[/sub]

I take the damn things apart over the sink, placing the seeds in a bowl and the rest in the garbage. The seeds can then be eaten with a spoon (straight from the bowl), sprinkled over ice-cream, added to rice, etc.

Of course, if I’m going for the full pomegranate experience, then I put on some old clothes, spread out an old tablecloth and make a huge mess. Life is good.

Cut the skin, then break the pomegranate up under water in a bowl of water. Clear off all the skin and membranes and you are left with a bowl of water with all the little red poegranate seeds/berries in it. Drain off the water, save the seeds in a dish. I put 'em on my morning cereal.

Oh, no, Trucido, now you’ll have to remain in the underworld forever! Bummer.

Eat them while skinnydipping.


I cut a flap from the pomegranate and peel it like a grapefruit, prying it open section by section carefully. I adore pomegranates, but do not find myself at all bespattered by this method.

mmmmmmmmmmm, Pomegranate juice. Neat and you can just sit back and sip it perfectly. Plus it can then be ice cold.

Not sure how to juice it without the seeds though.

p.s. pomegranates make great gifs for your little nephews and nieces, bwahahahaha