So… I eaten maybe three of these my entire life. But I remember liking them so I bought one.
I set it on the counter. Poked it with a knife. Hmm…
Do I peal it? I pealed off a piece. That didn’t look quite right.
So I decided to cut it in half… Maybe it’s like a kiwi or grapefruit and you can scoop out the inside…
Dialed the phone.
“Hello, Mom? How do I eat a pomegranate?.. Uh-huh… I see… you don’t eat them often because you don’t know how you’re supposed to do it… Yeah, messy. Stains. Look it up on the internet, you say.”
Back to the kitchen.
Hmm… Do I slice perpendicular to the “belly button” / “root fuzzies”? Or so I slice parallel?
It was a bitch to cut through, maybe this was the wrong approach.
Pure chaos inside. I remember it being more orderly like orange segments but with rows of berry seeds. I must’ve done it wrong. Or maybe this is a mutant pomegranate.
Now…
Do I spit out the little pits? They are soft enough to chew. Can I swallow them? Will it be bad? Will I get the squats? Will a pomegranate tree, vine, root ,whatever-the-hell-plant-shape take root in my colon if I do?
Cut open. Tear out seeds with hands. Chew seeds, being careful not to get any bitter lining in your mouth. After you’ve enjoyed the candy-like fruit around the seed, spit the seed out. Rinse, repeat.
You can spit out the pits if you want. I eat them and most others do as well. Its all good.
As for opening it in the first place, I start at the top of the fruit where the little hold is. I peel off chunks in all directions from there and remove the red bits into a bowl as I go. It takes a while, but thats half the fun. For me, opening up a pomeganate is like having a loose tooth and finally being able to ply it out, except without the pain and the bleeding. Its oddly satisfying for some reason.
As soon as the red bits are in the bowl I fill the bowl with water and all the loose bits of skin float up to the top and can be removed leaving nothing but berry goodness.
When I was little, my mother use to squeeze them and cut off the top. After making sure I had on some really old clothes and there was a really old towel on the floor, I would lay on the floor and suck all the juice out.
That sounds really funny…
I love pomegranates. My local grocery store has them every autumn.
I start by slicing all the way through the fruit, which causes an amazing mess. Then I progressively tear portions of the skin and turn them inside out, pressing out the pips; I eat them whole, like corn kernels. I don’t find the seeds bitter at all.
Working my way through a whole pomegranate leaves me feeling, at the end, like I’ve had really good sex.
That’s about the same apporach that I used. I rip out a chunk of white, “skin” then bend it backwards/inside out and the berries practically drop off.
Anyone know if there is any difference if you cut it in half, er, “longitudinally” or “latitudinally”? My hemishperes look more chaotic inside than I expected. Or maybe as a kid I had one unusually orderly pomegranate.
I can’t even taste the seeds. Doesn’t matter if you cut it in half or not. Trust me, I eat these several thousand times a year. Whenever I visit my Nonna’s house, it’s—
Easter? Pomegranates.
Christmas? Pomegranates.
Arbor day? Pomegranates.
I don’t know why, exactly. I guess it’s an old Italian lady things.
