This is one of the reasons I love Star Trek so much - people are free to do what they were, in whatever way, meant to do, petty things like money not influencing the decision. Born to be a sculptor? Sculpt. Explorer? Join Starfleet. People are truly free to do what they feel they were meant to do.
All these questions beg the 5 questions from Babylon 5 that were so crucial in the series:
Who are you?
Why are you here?
What do you want?
Why are you?
Do you have anything worth living for?
I think I’ve been watching too much idealistic science fiction.
Esprix, I understand your reference to some staff members behavior resembling sheep. I think all of us have observed the staff members that loudly agree and support absolutely anything management comes up with.
I am a proud member group of people that like to challenge the issues, rock the boat, and stir the pot when we feel the management behavior has gone overboard.
I enjoy my job, but, I am not so content that I wouldn’t change in a minute. I take pride in doing my job well but I don’t think about it once I leave my desk.
I live my life for my wife, my children and my hobbies. The place I work at gets 40 hours a week from me, that is enough.
Parable I: I’m not the type to put up with a dreadful job because I need the money. At one point last spring I was supporting myself by working at the law library and at the copy shop on campus. I was barely above poverty level anyway, but the law library job was literally making me clinically depressed. So I quit, despite the fact that I needed the money. Fortunately I managed to keep my head above water with the copy shop job and the interlibrary loans job that I got later, but there was a good deal of financial insecurity during those months. But at least I wasn’t whimpering on the floor anymore (literally).
What I learned? Your financial health isn’t as important as your mental health.
Parable II: When I came out, I got the opportunity to dive into a vast ocean of politics and philosophy. What it ended up giving me was a more direct knowledge of just how much pain and suffering there is out there. Some days I ended up sobbing in James’ arms because people were dying and I personally couldn’t stop it. But all this knowledge of politics and philosophy eventually culminated in my bid for Parliament, which I regard as one of the finest actions in my life. My political awareness is one of the traits I’m most proud of.
What I learned? “It is better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.” - J.S. Mill
“It is undoubtedly easier to believe in absolutes, follow blindly, mouth received wisdom. But that is self-betrayal.” - J.R. Saul
Listen up chucklehead! Your one of the smart ones, so I resent having to come all the way here from OZ to illustrate the obvious.
I’m also going to put that sensitive and caring good witch bullshit on the back burner where it belongs.
Moving to a new place and starting over is tough. Well, I’m going to save my sympathy for those who need it. Boo-hoo! Get up soldier.
Come over here.
::Time has magically stooped for everyone but Glynda and our young protagonist.::
You see this Schlepp? A sheep, huh? This guy lives for double entry accounting. For him the process is an instinct. He dreams of numbers and sums and amortization schedules. On the audit trail he is a ravenous bloodhound, a force of nature. No false entry can escape his cunning gaze. No. Esprix. You are wrong! This is no sheep. This is a Lion among men. Woe be unto you should you ever confront him on his territory, for he is the undisputed master. When he goes home at night to his little house and little wife, it is with the satisfaction of primal man returning the kill to the cave. You should envy him.
Come over here.
You see this dowdy spinster secretary? She is here just for the money. She’s not smart, she’s not pretty, but she’s tough as hell. Life handed her some hard knocks and she missed out on a lot of life taking care of her sick parents. She’s going to nightschool to be a teacher. She’ll be finished in June, and she’s been saving money. In six months she’s gonna put the down payment on a Boxster, walk out of this place, and go so wild even you will disaprove!
You see this guy over here.
His name is Paul.
Now Paul is a real estate novelist, who never had time for a wife. He’s talking to Davy who’s still in the Navy, and probably will be for… Umm wait that’s not right. Where’d that come from?
::Taps magic wand:: Ummm, Ok, Paul is a bit of a loser. Never mind…
Look at this guy.
-He’s building a boat!
-This guy beleives he’s the greatest salesman in the world!
-This lady finds meaning by volunteering at her Church helping battered woman on weekends.
-This guy can’t wait for the weekend to take his kid camping!
-This guy…, Oh my…, This guy over here thinks your cute, and he wants to… Oh dear, well let’s just say I wouldn’t be a good witch anymore if I told you wanted he wanted to do.
::Bonks Esprix on head with Wand::
Stop looking at him and pay attention! What all this means Esprix is that you are the sheep. You are the number. Don’t look so surprised. Didn’t you come here looking for significance? These people have it. You don’t. They’re happy, you’re not. That makes you the sheep.
You want significance?
It’s like I told that dumb broad from Kansas. You only have to look inside you. Surprise yourself and stay on your toes by doing things you wouldn’t normally do. Find the adventure, and find the significance. Later you will realize it was always with you.
Delphica, that was a very interesting way of classifying jobs. I’d have to place myself somewhere between a and b, since I genuinely enjoy translating.
Changing the world? How exactly is that good? Maybe not making waves is the best thing they can do? Ever hear of the guy who makes waves because hes not happy and kills alot of people?
Esprix, your OP could have been written about me (except I’m not in California or gay or a guy :). I’m working at jobs I hate to pay the bills, I envy people who have job satisfaction (or at least have the capability to work at jobs they don’t like and make the best of it), and I’ve been searching for my true calling for a long time now. I keep waiting for my epiphany, when a choir of angels starts singing and a beam of heavenly light shines on me when I finally figure out what I want to do with my life. But, in the meantime, I’m currently typing this from one of the nightschool classes I’m taking as I start down yet another hopeful pathway.
I have to say, I am really surprised at the backlash your OP received. If I’m reading you correctly, this career search is causing you a significant amount of stress that you wish you could put behind you; it’s about your dissatisfaction, not your judgement of how other people are living their lives. Of course, I could be talking out of my ass as well. It’s been known to happen.
Best of luck to you.
Face it, you’re going to be a nameless faceless schlub just like me and everybody else. Now go off, quit worrying about it and indulge your passions and enjoy the company of your loved ones while you can. Think about it - how can you NOT make a difference in people’s lives?
Well, first, define “impact” for us. I think I’ve made quite a difference in the lives of those around me - I’ve got a wife to be concerned with, a close family, and good friends - I like to think I’ve added something positive to their time on earth, as they have mine. I work hard to make the money to enable me to participate in the things I care about.
I also like to classify myself as intelligent (or so the IQ tests would lead me to believe) - and I am quite happily working in the business world - I work to solve problems for other companies. I see nothing wrong in being part of the “machine” in this way - I get the satisfaction of success, of improving upon what came before - of having an impact.
Not all of us desire to change the world single-handedly - but what if each one of us just did a small part to make a difference in the lives around us? I like to think we’d be an unstoppable force (but that’s the nutty idealist in me, which I try to crush when I can).
Although this seems to have been falsely attributed to Emerson, I think it has a niche here:
Success
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
Outstanding comments, hedra and Scylla in particular standing out to me.
Since people do differ, and what they want does differ, there’s a multitude of roles for a multitude of folk. And I think that people tend to gravitate to jobs from which they derive satisfaction, either right away (lucky bums!) or after time. And this may not be ‘what they want to do’ but something they take pleasure in doing well. I could not care less what the trends in the construction industry currently imply, but I find myself researching them for businesses who are looking to better market themselves, in more lucrative locations, roles in their present location, etc. And I’m enjoying it. It’s rewarding financially, a challenge to my researching, writing, and number-crunching skills, and I get recognition, acknowledgement, affirmation from my cow-orkers and supervisors for what I do.
I got this job by following my heart. After holding down a job I was good at but “kept in my place” by insecure executives and working part-time for a man who rebuilt my ego from scratch, I found it in myself to simply take my earnings and savings, quit, relocate to a place I found more suited to my nature, and go looking for work. I fell into this job through a temp. agency while they were trying to place me where “my skills were better suited.” Well, no. They’re just fine here, and I’m carving a niche for myself.
Don’t be content with a deadend job. But don’t expect the world to serve you the job of your dreams on a silver platter. Find something that fits you – sorta – then recraft the job, and yourself as well, until the fit is perfect.
::: gets into balloon, takes off, waving to Scylla-as-Glynda :::
i think the educational system is designed to produce sheep.
get an A in a course that is obviously useless so the teacher will pat you on the head. when was the last time YOU discussed Canterbury Tales with anyone. don’t get me wrong. I LIKE SHAKESPEAR. got video tapes of the stuff. there is a japanese version of king lear called RAN. i just wish it was overdubbed instead of having to read it. BUT, i wouldn’t pay tuition for a college course and do idiotic busy work and take tests in it.
RICH DAD, POOR DAD says we are sheep and pawns being used to make the rich richer. he’s not that blunt tho.
history is a bunch of jive with what it leaves out. there was a member of the rothchilds near waterloo when napolean lost. he rushed back to london and spread the word that wellington had lost and began selling certain stocks cheap. agents of the rothchilds were buying up cheap stocks created by the panic. the rothchilds made fortunes on that lie. WAS THAT IN YOUR HISTORY BOOKS?
so my point is why be a pawn in history. go for a rook or a Knight. knights are the coolest piece tho. LOL!
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Esprix, I can so relate to what you are going through.
My husband and I moved back home to Michigan from Tennessee 2 years ago. In TN, I had a job that I loved, where I was valued, an important member of a team, and was making a difference, not to mention that I was appreciated too.
On moving back to Michigan, I found it almost impossible to find a job that satisfied me. My job in TN had me busy 24/7 and I found it very difficult to find a job that not only could keep me busy (I’m really good at what I do - administrative management stuff), but also challenge me. Therefore, I’m now on my 5th job in just 2 years. Pitiful, but…I’d rather be happy with what I’m doing than just earn a paycheck. I’m now in a position that isn’t as challenging as I’d like, but it’s interesting work in an academic setting, there’s lots of potential for growth, and I’m learning all sorts of new software.
I said all that to bring this up: I had to do a lot of soul searching, a lot of serious time figuring out what in life was really important to me and how was I going to get it. Some things I thought I wanted have turned out to not be the issues I thought they’d be. I realized that I was a little bored with my life (it can be a little too perfect sometimes, if that’s possible) and I needed to separate my desire for some adventure from my desire for something that would fulfill me long term.
As others have said, sit down and write down the things you really want to do, things that are important to you, things you like to do. See any connections there? Figure out a way to bring them to pass. Make a plan. I know for me, sometimes just writing things down and getting them out of my head can make a big difference.
And lastly, you have made a difference. I was raised in a strict charasmatic church and you know what that means: narrow-minded, judgemental, harsh, and all those other fun adjectives. Between you and matt_mcl with your openess about your lifestyles and Poly’s gentle wisdom, I can tell you that I am not the same rigid little zealot that I was. As a matter of fact, I really feel like God has used all three of you (and this Board in general) to open my eyes to the fact that it really is His love that is the most important thing about Christianity. You have made a difference, if that means anything.
There’s no need to strive for glory or the applause of millions, if that’s what you mean by making your mark. you have already made your mark in the world by the countless interactions you have with people daily, which then spread out across the sea of humanity like ripples in a pond. Every kind or cruel remark, every gentle or unkind deed you perform leaves a mark on the world. Just like George Bailey, you have affected people’s lives in ways you haven’t dreamed of.
As far as your life having meaning and purpose; well, it doesn’t. Nobody’s does. The universe is chaotic and indifferent to human existence. The only purpose you can have is the one you give yourself. Follow your passions, and
be kind to those around you.
I would also recommend renting the video of “Pippin.”
You can be a cog in the corporate machine AND “make a difference.” It’s not a zero-sum game. It’s not one or the other.
First thing’s first, though. As for your general feeling of discontent I think you’re just underemployed. There was a time I felt pretty much the same as you. I have a genius IQ, but I didn’t know what the hell to do with it. I dropped out of high school and drifted for 15 years: in and out of the military (twice), in and out of college (dropped out twice), doing lots of part-time and temp work, manual labor, bumming around, trying my hand at writing, and so on and so on. Still, I always had that haunting feeling that there was something more out there for me.
Finally, at age 32, I decided that I didn’t want to be blue-collar all my life and I went back to college ( which I hated!) and finished up my degree and joined the white collar world. Fast forward 12 years: now I’m one of those corporate cogs you mentioned, and I’m loving it. I’m doing work I enjoy, work that challenges me, and I go home satisfied every evening and look forward to returning to the office in the morning. I’m on top of my game. I have all kinds of autonomy, all kinds of control over my workload, all kinds of tools to help me work ever-faster and ever-better. And my company loves my output so much that they throw fistfuls of money at me to do what I like. And guess what—no vague feeling of discontent. I’ve found my niche. My genius is fully engaged and racing on all eight cylinders. I just needed a good challenge that was worthy of me. And once I found it, I was content.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my vacation time too. And I love sitting around at home and reading Dostoevskiy, or snuggling with my girlfriend, or traveling to new places, and so on. I’m not ONLY about work. I would happily trade in my job for independent wealth and some serious philanthropy-and-beachcombing work if the opportunity arose, but I don’t think I’ll have that option anytime soon. Meantime, I’m pleased that I ultimately ended up in a job that fit me so well, even if it means being a corporate cog.
And meanwhile, I can still contribute to causes, both financially and in terms of time and effort. I help those around me, both my loved ones and the larger community. I certainly have more capacity today to benefit others and patronize causes than I ever did when I was underemployed and drifting and looking for that elusive Big Opportunity/Adventure/Crisis which was supposed to show me at my best and make the world sit up and take notice of me.
Aside from that, is there some single undisputed grand cause to which I ought to be devoting my life, which is simultaneously utterly inconsistent with and antipathetic to my life of happy corporate-cog-dom? I doubt it. And yes, of course, it’s possible for an individual to make a big impact on the world, but you have to weigh the price to yourself and your loved ones. The bigger the impact, the more you’ll sacrifice, both out of your own pocket and out of the pockets of the loved ones and the community that are supporting you. If you’re intending to impact the world in a big way, then consider all the consequences ahead of time.
Really, when it comes to discussions of grand causes and the meaning of life, I agree wholeheartedly with goboy:
Returning to the subject of that vague feeling of discontent, I suggest that you stop working at jobs where you’re grossly underemployed. Go see a college counselor, take some test to find out what fields would best suit you, and take some college courses toward that end. We corporate cogs are happy for good reason. We like what we do, our jobs challenge and reward us, and the pay we receive allows us to enjoy life to the fullest and gives us the leisure, the scope, and the experience to do some real good in our own lives or in the community, if we’re so inclined.
While I sympathise with Esprix’s original lament, I’m also worried about how handily he dismisses most of his coworkers as “sheep.”
I mean, I pull in a 9-to-5 job myself, and while I have dreams and aspirations and quirks, I keep most of them bottled up at the office. I slap a cheerful disposition over my interactions so I don’t disturb the other folks. Does that make me a sheep? No, it just means you don’t know the real me. The difference between me and Esprix is that I don’t dismiss the folks around me as being “inferior” just because I don’t know what’s in their heads.
Maybe what Esprix really needs is to make some friends at his new job, so he can get into his co-workers’ heads and see what they’re really like. Stop treating them as caricatures, and start treating them as people.
Do not use this book as a guide. It is filled with overly simplistic, smarmy stories about how you’ll magically become rich if you’re a sheep to the lifestyle he promotes instead of the lifestyle “they” promote, because his way of thinking will instanty make you super-creative as well as fabulously wealthy. He does not seem to grasp the notion that luck has just as much to do with great financial success as skill does, and that you could end up far worse off financially by being the kind of movie-hero maverick he promotes.
And worse, it’s filled with some dangerous accounting advice. He basically recommends that you form a corporation and treat all of your personal expenses as business expenses. He fails to mention that the IRS can and does audit small corporations to weed out this sort of abuse.
i do believe i mentioned TWO books. no comment on the other?
i don’t know what you mean as using a book for a GUIDE. i don’t use any book as a GUIDE. i use books as a source of information. i put my brain in gear and analyze the information. some of the stuff in RICH DAD, POOR DAD wasn’t new to me. there is another book called THE POWER ELITE, it is written in a more academic style analyzing the socialpsychology of class structure. if you only get one book YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE is better, but i think understanding the rich-poor culture is interesting. i would suggest THE SCREWING OF THE AVERAGE MAN but it is out of print.
i know some people regard me as an arrogant a$$hole but i assume people have brains enough to not BELIEVE anything they read. it is easy to search the internet for reviews of any book i mention. and ACTUALLY i found out about the book from other people discussing it on another website.
and back to the subject of this thread. i think this country should have been on a 3-day work week 20 YEARS AGO. everyone should have better things to do than so many dumb 9-to-5 jobs.
. And I, of course, fall into category b.) .