As I sit here in my boring 9-to-5 job, having just moved to California in an attempt to jumpstart my life and figure out what the heck it is I wish to do with my existence, I see people working around me. Content people. People satisifed with their middle management or sales job or whatnot. People who feel fulfilled by the time they spend at the office.
Now, don’t get me wrong - an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work is nothing to sneeze at, and my father taught me the value of working hard and doing something right and well and the best you can. But the fact that these people are happy in these kinds of jobs makes me shudder. I sit here and watch groups of management walk by in their suits and ties and dresses and think, “Please, God, don’t let me become one of them.” It’s like watching a bad Dilbert Day parade, and everyone’s dressed as the pointy-haired boss.
It’s not that I don’t believe these people have found their niche - some of these people are terriffic people, who do their jobs really, really well, and derive a genuine satisfaction from them. And I understand that some of these jobs are actually important - I used to work for a pharmaceutical firm, and understand that if it weren’t for these marketing teams and such that do the jobs that they do, these drugs wouldn’t get to the people whose lives they save. But overwhelmingly, every time I see one of these people, all I can think is, “My God, you’re all sheep. What contribution are you making to the world? What difference are you making?”
This, of course, is the question I’ve been asking myself, so maybe I’m just projecting it on to others, but I think there’s a thread for discussion. Is this the bane of intelligent people, to look at the world differently and not be satisfied without making some impact? As animals we somewhere along the line realized that we would someday die, and that has since affected our lives tremendously, so like this, does wanting to trascend the mundane and impact the world mark one as intelligent, or is it the result of already being intelligent? Or does it have nothing to do with intelligence at all, and if not, then what?
And while I’m at it, I’m soliciting ideas for how I, the Gay Guy, can leave my mark upon the world.
Last question - does anybody else feel this way?