I’ve had so many crazy customers in retail, I couldn’t begin to tell you about them all. Hmmm… Let’s categorize:
Odd returns:
Middle-aged man, a doctor, who had Tourrette’s (I’m assuming. He had some very distracting facial tics). He’d come in in the morning and buy a “coffee table” type bargain book, with lots of pictures of planes or gardens or what have you. Then he’d return it after lunch. He did it maybe every couple of months, but the books were in good shape so I had to take them back. I couldn’t figure that out, either. I thought maybe he needed some reading material for his break, or the toilet, but why not keep the books? Or check them out at the library?
Creepy stalkers:
Annoying stupid guy. Probably early 30s (once again, Borders, I’m 18). He liked to annoy me on my lunch breaks. He’d sit down at my table and just ramble on about the stupidest shit. He showed me some drawings that he was really proud of, that looked like a 3rd grader did them. I loathed my lunch break because of this guy. Finally, one day I got the balls to tell him to fuck off. He showed me some pen that some “Ayrab” had sold him, and it was such a rip-off, he was gonna get his money back from that stupid Hajii, blah blah. Aha! So I started yelling “You ignorant racist fuck, shut the hell up! My sister-in-law is Palestinian (true) you useless waste of space!” and I stormed inside. He tried to apologize a few days later for his comments, and I just told him to get lost.
Actually frightening stalker. He was close to my age, so when he asked if he could join me at my table on my lunch break I obliged. He seemed nice, he was cute, we talked about music and stuff. When I was done with my break he gave me his number on a folded up piece of paper that also said “I think you’re really cute.” OK, that was kinda cute in a dorky way. Until the next day, when I came in at 9 when the store opened, and there he was. Waiting for the doors to open to come in. He sat there all day until I left at 5, and I did some sort of ninja thing to sneak out without him noticing. He did this for weeks, just sitting there watching me as I worked, until I complained to the manager and he had him trespassed.
Bitchy customers:
This guy wanted to return a book he’d bought for some class or test, like an SAT study guide but not. He had his receipt, which indicated he’d paid with a credit card. So I ask for the CC so I can credit it for the return. Oh no. He wants cash. I apologize and tell him that store policy is that you are refunded the same way you paid- I can either put it back on his card or give him store credit. Well, store credit isn’t good enough, because we don’t carry the specific book he needs, how is he supposed to pass this test, blah blah. He’s screaming so the whole store can hear. I call in my manger, who tells him the same thing- store credit, or credit the card. My manager (who was awesome for these types- he’d rather tell a bitchy customer to fuck off than kiss his ass) also points out that not only is the refund policy printed on the back of the receipt, but it’s also spelled out in letters 4 inches high on the 16x5 ft board above the cash register. So the customer storms out, bitching, to which my manager yells even louder, “Maybe next time you should pay attention to the return policy, dumbass.”
I never understood that guy- where the hell does he shop that they’ll give you cash regardless of how you paid? Why wasn’t crediting the card good enough- couldn’t he drive his happy ass across the street to Barnes and Noble and buy the RIGHT book with the money we’d refunded to his card? Also, who gives you the right to scream at US for YOUR mistake?
Then there was the craziest, and bitchiest, of all customers. The Chai Lady[sup]TM[/sup]. Apparently nicknamed this by the poor folks in the cafe who bore the brunt of her rudeness. She was some well-to-do woman with 2 insane kids. Her husband was a millionaire (I can’t remember what he owned, but it was something major like the local sports team). She was an entitled bitch. Her kids were the spawn of Satan.
She’d stop in, let the kids run wild in the children’s section, and harrass the cafe staff because they never made her Chai right. Her kids, on one memorable occasion, pulled all the books off the shelves in the children’s section, spread them out over the floor, and jumped all over them. Then the little boy pissed right there, on the floor and all the books.
So her kids were banned from the store. So she’d still come in, although leaving the kids in the car. She’d steal the mugs (real mugs and cups, for in-cafe drinking, not the cardboard ones) they’d give her, until they started putting the electronic tags on the bottom of them that set off the alarm. Oh yeah, that embarrassed the hell out of her. Seriously, your husband’s a millionaire, and you can’t buy your own mugs?
Well, needless to say, she was banned as well. Then we heard she’d started frequenting the stores in other parts of our county, and in the next county over, getting banned from each one. Some people. :rolleyes:
:rolleyes:
