The day after Christmas and all I have are 4 buns and no ham.

[Hockey_Monkey]

@SmartAleq

You know what, HD? I think this is about the most pitiful goddamned thing I’ve ever read. It has, as you say, a surreality to it that’s just made more vivid by the antics of Capt Threadshit up there, and the pathos factor is off the scale. Having to confront the savaged zombie that was once your coveted Christmas dinner and having the damned thing figuratively hung around your neck like the fucking albatross is just insult to considerable injury. You got a PayPal account where I can contribute to the Replacement Ham Fund? I’m serious here… This is just some totally fucked up shit, I’m just sayin’. You have my sympathy, for what that’s worth.
Damn. Just… damn… :eek:

I don’t have much to offer, but I will be happy to send you something to brighten your New Year.

[bluecanary]

@Q.E.D

I like this idea; perhaps we can make up for EE’s extreme assholishness. I’m in, too.

I like this idea too.

[bluecanary]

As for EE, he gets a Monty Python sketch transcript.

[Harmonious_Discord]

I don’t remember that Monty Python sketch but it’s super funny. Thanks for the sincere well wishes people and offers of help. This went into a bit more detail than I originally meant to give. I figured after certain questions came up I needed to answer them. Who figures on leading an interesting life? It just happens sometimes. My life has been interesting this whole year so I’ll gladly let someone else have some of the action in 2009. Strangely I don’t remember pissing off a Chinese guy.

I can’t even stay mad at Ensign Edison so have a better end to your year.

[SmartAleq]

I’ve received PayPal information for Harmonious Discord, so if anyone else wants to play “Replace The Ham,” PM me for the info!

Let’s hope the New Year looks up for us all, because for sure some of us could use the good news…

[kaylasdad99]

SmartAleq, check your PM inbox.

[alice_in_wonderland]

As an avowed ham hater, it is my duty to make sure as much ham is cosumed by other people as possible. I’ll take HD’s PayPal info as well please.

Can’t do too much to get one more ham off the shelves…

[Spice_Weasel]

Ah, The Pit. Such a nasty place, isn’t it?

[SmartAleq]

@olivesmarch4th

Ah, The Pit. Such a nasty place, isn’t it?

Truly horrible… Buncha evil misanthropes out to make life a misery for everybody in here!

[Wiggie]

@jayjay

Here’s the thing, though…Mom is expecting him to eat that ham. She’s not going to throw it out and make something else. That ham was supposed to be lunches and dinners for the next week. And as far as Mom is concerned, it still is.

Um, yeah, way to completely miss the point. :rolleyes:

[Harmonious_Discord]

Good news. I didn’t have the ham foisted on me all of Sunday. Hopefully there will be no more attempts, but I’m betting next holiday meal there is no ham served.

Everybody that has sent something is making it possible to get some stuff I need. Thanks so much for the help. I will definitely get ham. You’ve made a positive difference for me. Thanks so very much for caring.

SmartAleq thanks for giving the information out to people when they’ve asked.

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

@Harmonious_Discord

Good news. I didn’t have the ham foisted on me all of Sunday. Hopefully there will be no more attempts, but I’m betting next holiday meal there is no ham served.

Everybody that has sent something is making it possible to get some stuff I need. Thanks so much for the help. I will definitely get ham. You’ve made a positive difference for me. Thanks so very much for caring.

SmartAleq thanks for giving the information out to people when they’ve asked.

Don’t let your Mom have any of the new ham until she finishes the old one!

[Sapo]

@Harmonious_Discord

… but I’m betting next holiday meal there is no ham served.

Noooo! The answer is no dog invited, not no ham served. Can you really have a whole dinner that the dumb dog won’t care to sniff? That’s a lot of cabbage.

[Anne_Neville]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

I don’t understand how that is possible. I mean, I can understand hating turkey, or *giving *blowjobs, or me when I’m bloviating. But ham? That’s like hating coffee, getting blowjobs, or Superman when he’s just caught the airplane you were riding in just before it would have crashed into the baseball stadium. It doesn’t make a lick of sense.

You never had the ham with cherry “glaze” that my grandmother used to make. It wasn’t really a glaze, more like ham with jelly made from cherry-flavored cough syrup. If Chabad really wanted to get more people to keep kosher, they would have gotten the recipe from her before she died, and served it up. It would kill any taste you might have for ham. It might even keep a ravenous dog away from the ham.

I’m not saying that’s why I keep kosher now, but between that cherry-glazed ham and my mom’s sawdust pork chops, giving up pork was one of the easier parts of starting to keep kosher for me.

[Kythereia]

The moths are kind of flying out of my wallet right now, but Harmonious Discord, let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help out, okay?

[Skald_the_Rhymer]

@Anne_Neville

@Skald the Rhymer

I don’t understand how that is possible. I mean, I can understand hating turkey, or giving blowjobs, or me when I’m bloviating. But ham? That’s like hating coffee, getting blowjobs, or Superman when he’s just caught the airplane you were riding in just before it would have crashed into the baseball stadium. It doesn’t make a lick of sense.

You never had the ham with cherry “glaze” that my grandmother used to make. It wasn’t really a glaze, more like ham with jelly made from cherry-flavored cough syrup. If Chabad really wanted to get more people to keep kosher, they would have gotten the recipe from her before she died, and served it up. It would kill any taste you might have for ham. It might even keep a ravenous dog away from the ham.

Well, that’s hating ABUSED ham, which is understandable, being akin to hating decaffeinated coffee, blowjobs involving more biting than licking, or Superman when he’s acting like Batman.

[Anne_Neville]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

Well, that’s hating ABUSED ham, which is understandable, being akin to hating decaffeinated coffee, blowjobs involving more biting than licking, or Superman when he’s acting like Batman.

I think I got a food aversion to all ham from it, though. Kind of like how, if you get sick from eating, say, bad potato salad, then the taste of potato salad makes you feel sick if you try to eat it again.

[SmartAleq]

@Harmonious_Discord

Good news. I didn’t have the ham foisted on me all of Sunday. Hopefully there will be no more attempts, but I’m betting next holiday meal there is no ham served.

Everybody that has sent something is making it possible to get some stuff I need. Thanks so much for the help. I will definitely get ham. You’ve made a positive difference for me. Thanks so very much for caring.

SmartAleq thanks for giving the information out to people when they’ve asked.

You’re more than welcome, my pleasure! Glad to hear the shambling zombie ham is not following you around trying to eat your brrraaaaaaiiiinnnsssss–you look for that in food…

[mischievous]

@Q.E.D

I like this idea; perhaps we can make up for EE’s extreme assholishness. I’m in, too.

Thirded - please get yourself something that makes you feel good.

Also, a lot of charities and schools discard used computers in pretty good shape - you might be able to get something more current than what you have now for free.

[fisha]

**Harmonious Discord, **whereabouts in WI are you?