We just got a very heavy box in the mail. FREEZE ON ARRIVAL it said on the side. So we open this thing up and there’s some Polish sausages on top of a couple bottles of saurkraut and a jar of mustard and a package of rolls (most of which will mold and end up in the trash). So far, fine. But at the bottom of the box is gigantic fucking ham.
The box, it turns out, is from my wife’s beloved niece, who knows full well that there are only two of us and that we can’t possibly consume this much ham in our lifetime. Nor do we have room in our freezer for the damn thing. Now, I’ve told her in the past not to do this kind of thing, yet she persists in going overboard at every opportunity. She always shows up at the door with more shit that we can’t use and have no room for. It drives me nuts.
Hmmm… I don’t call that being “nice” – I call that being deaf. And possibly stupid.
I don’t know how to keep someone from continuing to do a thing after you’ve told them not to. Take the box unopened to UPS and ship it back to her maybe?
How about donating some of the stuff to a food bank? I’m sure that “a gigantic fucking ham” would be very welcome in the household of some poor family with many mouths to feed.
It might be a lot more diplomatic and equally effective to thank her for her generosity and mention that the food bank was grateful for the donation.
Good suggestions. I’ll approach my wife about it, but won’t hold my breath. She loves her nieces like they were her children and would do nothing to offend them.
Well, it seems like a good idea, but from what I’m getting from websites, they don’t take food that isn’t in a can or dried (like rice or pasta). Too easy to tamper with something like a ham, I guess. What a world we live in. Maybe I’ll check with the kitchen here in the building, but I’m guessing they will have the same sort of policy.
Like Dorothy Parker is credited with saying: “The definition of ‘eternity’ is two people and a ham.”
And so is my sister-in-law. But she can’t walk past Cute Stuff in any store without stocking up on Cute Clutter.
For her home? Oh, no, that’s full of Cute already. It’s to gift to anyone on her branch of the family tree. Or adjacent branches (me, wife, in-laws, nieces and nephews, second cousins, paperboy’s dog…).
If we didn’t open one of her many care packages and immediately make a Goodwill run, our house would look like a Daiso store…
Too bad the idea of donating it to a food bank can’t work.
I’m kinda out of ideas, but maybe you could hint to the beloved niece that there are a few things you could use the next time she’s feeling generous: a professional-grade meat slicer, a vacuum-pack machine, and a chest freezer. Ham sandwiches for eternity! Alternatively, you could suggest that she provide funding for a deli franchise.
A food bank might not want it. But a shelter might. There are worse problems to have than generous relatives. I( no luck there, parcel it out for the neighbors, friends, workmates or local doggies. Your niece has no reason to squawk if you keep a reasonable portion.
I’m reminded of my Dad, who received a nice Christmas hamper from his former employer, for years after he retired. It was enough to throw a nice party for two dozen guests. Dad was long past his party-giving days, so I got some things, some relatives got a few things, and some neighbours got a few things. Dad, of course, kept what he liked for himself, but most of it was given away.
So should this be, if you don’t want it. If the local food bank can’t or won’t take the ham, then maybe they can take the other things. Or relatives or neighbours might appreciate them, and/or the ham.
I get this is a problem for the OP, just trying to wrap my head around eating a whole ham being anything but a week’s problem, 10 days max. Are hams that much bigger in the US?
People have different love languages and if two people have non-overlapping love languages, then miscommunication can occur until one learns to receive what the other is giving. It seems obvious that one of your niece’s love languages is gifts and yours is not. You can either figure out what an alternate love language for your niece is that you’re set up to receive and redirect her acts of love into that language or you can receive the language for what it is and figure out what to do with it.
When she’s sending you gifts, it’s not really about the physical items, she’s trying to show you love and the items are a symbol of that. Focus on the symbolism and then process the physical items in a way that you can deal with. Maybe she would be really happy if you shared the gifts with your neighbours and told her how much your gift was appreciated by the people you shared them with. Or maybe she would really appreciate you sending her an annual Amazon Wishlist where she could pick the gift out for you. Or maybe she would really appreciate a local homeless shelter you support and she could send a food hamper there and you would both find that gratifying. You need to figure out which of these could work for both of you but you should also be grateful that she’s sending you love in the first place.
