It’s sliced meat swimming in the juice it was cooked in.
Oh fer chrissakes, you could wash piss off a ham too but that doesn’t make it particularly desirable as a foodstuff. I say that HD takes the fucking carcass outside and buries it with a small but tasteful marker and then digs a second smaller pit for that horrible dog.
No, no, no. why dig two holes when you only have to dig one? Shove the ham up the dog’s ass, beat him to death with the shovel then bury the hamdog.
Well there’s always room for a jackass of your magnitude and splendor. I like to think of you as the Dali Lama of jackasses. All the other jackasses in the world flock to you for the annual pilgrimage and guidance in the year to come…
I hope this doesn’t offend you, Sir. I am but the dirt beneath your holy jackass feet.
Hail Oh great Jackass, Hail! 
Mmmmm…hamdog.
Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. As long as it wasn’t a pit bull or something stringy like that. Maybe one of those big ass poodles. Hmmmm. Good eatin’.
A ham dog requires melted cheese with it.
Fine, dig a pit, fill it with burning gasoline, stuff the ham up the dogs arse, wail on it with the shovel, deposit a slice of cheese on said mess, and toss in flaming hole. Waste of good cheese though.
So use Velveeta. Then you won’t be wasting good cheese.
or use Cheez Whiz.
Your choice friend, because you’re still going to have to eat it. :D:D:D
I’ve never had to smell burning Cheez Whiz, and I hope to live the rest of my life that way.
Cheez Whiz it is then. I don’t ever want to eat Velveeta again. When camping I will boil macaroni, drain it, and add Cheez Whiz for macaroni and cheese when I don’t have a cooler to keep perishables in.
That is sick and wrong and I regret every nice thought I ever had about you.
Brewers Fan, Ditto
Band name or bawdy euphemism? You make the call!
Things I have learned from this thread.
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Ham and dogs don’t mix.
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Jimm and samm are fucking insane, and jerks. (maybe it’s the mm’s?)
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Dopers are good people, except for the insane jerks.
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Never eat at Jimm or **samm’s **house
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Hamdogs and Chez Whiz + gas = good fun!
I’ve been reading this in bits and pieces. Did HD ever get his monitor?
On the subject of burning Cheese Whizz . . .
Back in early high school while winter camping, one bright light put a jar of Cheese Whizz in the fire to thaw it out. Of course it exploded. The fragments hit one of the fellows who was standing with his back to the fire warming himself, causing him to lose his balance and fall backward into the fire. He rolled out of it quickly, but not before the back of his parka caught on fire, which he put out immediately by then rolling in the snow. The end result was a melted nylon burnt cheese mess of a parka.
I never bought one. The 19" for a $100 sold out the first day. I still don’t know if I will buy one since I haven’t found as good a deal again. It was about half price and I find it hard to part with money in hand. Some of that is on a card so I can’t just go anywhere and get a monitor either. Anything smaller than a 19 inch and I won’t be able to read anything. Maybe some better deal will show up after we start the new year. Mine isn’t dead just yet and I’m used to waiting by now.
Once again thanks for the help dopers. I did buy and eat some ham yesterday, so that crisis is over. Everything else can wait.