I’ve always thought of spam as stuff you don’t want from people you don’t know, and glurge as stuff you don’t want from people you DO know.
Good work, Fenris. I’ve managed to get my office to stop sending glurge by telling them that their e-mail privileges will be revoked if they do. So, either they’ve stopped sending it altogether, or they’ve just taken my name off their lists. Either method works for me (I don’t have the authority to revoke their e-mail, anyway.)
A) It’s Glurge 
B) I’ve always thought that Spam was unwanted e-mail that was either commercial (“Make $$$BIG$$$ MONEY FAST!!!”), or sexual (“Hot Nude Chick PiXXX”) or both (“MAKE $$$BIG$$$ MONEY FAST WITH Hot Nude Chick PiXXX!!!”). Glurge, on the other hand is treacly, icky-sweet, often sentimental moralistic and or “heart-warming” pap designed to change your emotions.
C) I don’t know where the term originated, but I first heard of it on Snopes, which, incidentally boasts one of the largest collection of Glurge in captivity. Ah Snopes. Is there anything you DON’T know?
D) IMPORTANT It has come to FEN-Co’s attention that some Dopers are considering using FEN-Co’s Deglurgeification Letter on loved ones. This is not consistant with the purpose for which FEN-Co had formulated this letter! FEN-Co’s Deglureification Letter is NOT intended for use with friends or family! FEN-Co’s Deglurgification Letter is formulated in industral strength and is intended only for use on people with whom you no longer wish an on-going relationship. Using FEN-co’s Deglurgeification Letter on friends and family can put undue strain on a relationship and/or make them cry.
We at FEN-Co are sensitive to your needs and the Mighty FEN-Co Research, Development and Sarcasm Team is working 'round the clock to bring you Deglurgefication Lite [sup]tm, pat pndg[/sup], which WILL be suitable for most close relationships.
Fenris, President, Founder, CEO and High Exalted Grand-Pooh-Bah of FEN-Co
FEN-Co: Glurge-Free Living for a Better Tomorrow!
I’m way ahead of you people on this one…I wrote this little beauty in November after gettin the same email 4 times in ONE day…you know the one…they’ll give 7 cents for each forward for the poor little boy or girl w/ (enter horrible disease here). Mine’s a bit more extreme though hehehe. I sent it to the WHOLE backlist of people who were listed on the emails. I got hate mail for days but the glurge ratio in my inbox went WAY down…
WARNING>>>>NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
ok ppl…i’ve had enough…who ever you are you sent this to someone who sent this to someone on and on till it got to me…i’m refering to the heart wrenching story about the poor little girl who gets 7 cents for each person the message is forwarded to. ARE YOU PEOPLE STUPID? CAN YOU NOT SEE THROUGH THIS? first things first. the kid had cancer at age 7 from second hand smoke…awwwwwwwwwww …yea right. gimme a break, and if that isn’t enough, the poor lass also has a tumor in her brain from …wait, get this…she has it from repeated beatings. ok so it’s not enough that she got the shit beat out of her, but her parents don’t have enough money to pay for an operation that will make everything hunky dory. OF COURSE THEY DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY! THEY SPEND IT ALL ON HEROIN AND CRACK AND BOOZE SO THEY CAN GET DRUNK AND BEAT THE KID TILL SHE’S TUMORED! come on people. end the insanity. stop forwarding this crap. and i hate to break it to you, but there is no way to track emails, so she doesn’t get the $1 you made her by sending this to 15 of your friends (well, maybe they’re not your friends since you keep sending them stupid shit like this) bummer…sob…cry me a river. grow up people. don’t worry, your not heartless if you don’t send every thing on that comes your way, you won’t die if you don’t send that chain letter. hell! i never send them and i’m alive!!! think before you forward this stuff, please? for the sake of my cat who’s starving because i can’t feed him because i have to check stupid emails like this! oh, yea, and if you forward this to 500 people in 2 minutes i’ll buy him a dollar’s worth of cat food. and if you don’t you’ll be cursed forever and die a horrible death.
gypsy_gurl
Thank you, Fenris and jadailey, for setting me straight on “spam” vs. “glurgE!” 
Patty
I just wanted to point out that the following phrases, all used in this thread, would be excellent names for rock bands:
**
Glurge Troubles
Are You People Stupid?
The Feeble Old People
Repeated Beatings
The Forwarded Crap
Heroin, Crack, and Booze**
Pardon me, but sometimes you just have to screw your relatives, and I ain’t talkin’ cross-breedin’, Vern. I have an aunt-in-law who CONSTANTLY sends glurge as if she herself is generating it… hey, wait… <e-ville laugh> MAYBE SHE IS!!! Perhaps I can save all humanity with one simple explosion… well, she is my wife’s favorite aunt, so maybe not. :mad:
ANYway, Fenris, you are a god. 
Go forth and slay glurge. Give 'em both barrels! Kindness can be impersonal, goodwill should be given freely, but glurge should be punishable by keelhauling!!
I got so tired of that garbage, I MADE 4 of my own…I got them back a year later with all the names changed and lots of cure words added…kinda odd. CAUTION: Really long…unless you want to read them, just skip on.
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding out 50,000,000,000 freaking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send “his” e-mail to $1,000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere!
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2,000, it’ll be in the Guinness book of World Records for longest continuous streak of stupidity. Screw them.
If you are going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I’ve seen all the “send this to your 50 closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being” forwards about 90 times. I don’t care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re actually contributing to by sending out chain letters.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1:
(Scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
No, really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please, they’ll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
Not that, you pervert!!!
Is you finger getting tired yet?
STOP!!!
Wasn’t that fun? Hope you made a great wish! Now, to make you feel guilty, here’s what I’ll do. First of all, if you don’t send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It’s true! Because, THIS letter isn’t like all those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE! Really!!! Here’s how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: 1 person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!! Good luck!!!
Chain Letter Type 2:
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy’s life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Parentless Goatless Boy From Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the e-mails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder – if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3:
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no e-mail then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works: pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story #1:
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying down a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This could happen to you!!!
*Bizarre Horror Story #2:
Dexter Bip, a 13-year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (Hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens everyday for eternity. This could happen to you, too!!!
Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of you loser friends and everything will be okay.
Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
Friends
A friend is someone who is always at your side.
A friend is someone who like you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you’ve been eating cat food.
A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly as a hat full of assholes.
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you’ve soiled yourself.
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life.
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats and be thrown to vicious dogs.
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums, and then gets the check and leaves, and doesn’t speak much English…no, sorry, that’s the cleaning lady.
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don’t, you’ll never have sex again!!!
The point being?
If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it’s funny, send it on. Don’t piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who’s been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is the 5¢ per letter he’ll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you’ll end up like Miranda. Right?
Now give this to everyone otherwise you’ll find all your knickers missing tomorrow morning.
I love this stuff
moronmountain quote: “as ugly as a hat full of assholes”
May I just say that I’ve soiled myself laughing?
I had no idea that pent-up rage was such a creative literary force…
(Sorry. Don’t know how to do that cool quote thing yet.)
Try the “quote” button at the bottom of the post you want to quote. (It’s a cool way to see how people do all that funky formating, too.:))
P.S.- Welcome to the SDMB
What do you know?
so I’m guessing that’s how the italics and bold works too. Sweet.
moronmountain - I’ve gotten that e-mail! Or something disturbingly like it…
Ahhhh, the system works…