A few days ago, a neighbor of ours named Guillermo died. He and his wife had lived next door to us for at least ten years. They were Mexican, and usually spoke Spanish to each other. They were among the nicest people we’ve ever had as neighbors.
Señor and Señora Guillermo were apparently Catholic and went to church every Sunday. I suppose there will be a funeral for him, and now that they use the vernacular in the Church the services will most likely be conducted in Spanish.
Considering how well my Mom and I haver known and liked these people we may feel compelled to attend, but since we are not Catholic and don’t speak Spanish we are not sure it’s a wise idea.
Is it?
First off, I am sorry your neighbor died. I have been to too many Catholic wakes and Funeral Masses to count. I was brought up in the Catholic church, but do not identify with this religion now. Wakes are given so others can say goodbye to the person, and pay their respects to the family.
A funeral mass is held (usually the following day) to give thanks and say prayers, et al.
If I were you, I would go to both, if it is not terribly inconvenient. You can sit in one of the back pews.
It has been in my experience, that more people attend the wake then the funeral. If you choose one, if they are having a wake, I would just go for that. The last wake I went to was for a 45 year old who died of a massive heart attack. He was so well liked, that we had to wait, in the rain, to pay our respects at the wake. We were outside for well over an hour.
Go. Before you go, open a browser window on translate.google.com, and type in some phrases you’d like to use while there, then translate them to Spanish. Print them up and take them. While there, just follow the crowd on when to stand, kneel, and sit. No one’s going to look askance at you for honoring the life of a good man.
Remember, no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
You stand when everybody stands, kneel when everybody kneels, sit when everybody sits, and (this won’t count as it’s a funeral) when everybody goes to communion you just sit and watch. Speak in English - if you’re in the US, it’s likely that many of the people going to the funeral won’t know Spanish themselves. (The amount of non-Spanish speaking Hispanics in San Antonio is amazing. Your area is likely the same, depending upon how close to the border you are. ETA: Gardena? You can speak English if you want to say a few words.)
It’s pretty much that simple. I’ve been to a few Spanish Catholic funerals and it’s no big deal (as far as protocol is concerned - it’s a funeral of course, so act funeral-y.)
I’ve never participated in the kneeling thing. I do the standing and sitting, but not the kneeling. No one has ever said anything to me about it. And, yeah, don’t go up for communion.
I went to my Muslim neighbor’s funeral about a year and a half ago. Even though I comprehended not a word of the imam’s remarks, the gesture was appreciated by her family just as yours will be.
Oh, lordy, true dat. In fact (and I apologize that this is outside the scope of the OP) I’d say hold off entirely on giving her food for the first week or so, unless she does seem to be utterly alone in the world. But if a bazillion relatives show up at the funeral/wake and you see aunts/cousins/etc. in and out of her house for the next few days, you can assume that she possesses approximately her body weight in casseroles.
But as her neighbor, you’ll be there when the others are gone, and that’s when your presence and assistance will be the most helpful. Go over and mow her lawn for her when you’re doing yours, for example. Ask if she needs anything fixed (if you’re handy) or any errands run (if you’re not).
And don’t worry about language and/or religious obstacles; if you want to pay your respects for him and be supportive for her (and it sounds like you do) then just go.
The OP never said the Guillermos don’t speak English, only that they speak Spanish among themselves.
Every funeral I’ve been to has included Communion, so I have no idea where the parenthesis came from.
What everybody said: sit when they sit, stand when they stand; when they get down on one knee or both it’s ok for you to stay standing (many Catholics who have bad knees or mobility problems do as well), don’t partake of Communion unless you belong to a church where you’d normally take it.
