The Death of Bullwinkle

You may have heard that Bullwinkle the Moose was found dead. And a special prosecutor was appointed to investigate the mysterious circumstances of the moose’s death.
Most people are aware of the fact that the moose was found crushed to death by a 16-ton anvil dropped from a great height. And of course, everybody was certain that the moose’s live-in companion (and isn’t that an interesting euphemism?) a certain hyperactive flying squirrel, was the most likely suspect.
But further investigation revealed a number of things. First, JPL did a computer simulation and determined that a flying squirrel could not achieve airspeed while carrying a 16-ton anvil, so that cleared Rocket J. Squirrel.
But the coroner reported that the _expression on the moose’s face showed absolutely no fear, so obviously the anvil hit him unexpectedly, or he was completely trusting of the circumstances – which could implicate Rocky after all. The _expression on the moose’s face was the biggest smile ever seen on a Toon.
Clutched in the moose’s baseball mitt – which he always wore when he caught Rocky – was a tiny statue of Krishna. The religious significance of this is not immediately clear; neither is the eyewitness report of a rabbi on a pogo stick rapidly leaving the scene.
So…if we summarize the clues in Bullwinkle’s death, what we have is: wee Vishnu, a merry crushed moose, and a hoppy Jew near.

“And now, here’s something we hope you’ll really like!”

It’s Badenov you left out Bullwinkle’s middle initial (J.), but it’s worse that I can’t Ward off the envy I feel at being unable to match this heroic effort. Hey, Wossamatta U!

Quiet you.

A tip of the Kirwood Derby to you for that one, sir.

Never underestimate the power of a shnook.

Only if it’s full of Hush-A-Boom.

My Father always said that a pun is the worst form of humor… unless you thought of it first.

Well done, sir.

*Judge Cameo: The defendants are charged with grand theft auto: 1 count; breaking out of jail: 1 count; impugning the character of a prison guard: 1 count; reckless driving: 4 counts; talking to the audience; five counts; criminally bad punning: 18 counts.
Bullwinkle: And three dukes and seven earls.
Judge Cameo: Make that 19. *

Make that 20.

If the anvil has “ACME” written anywhere on it, you can be sure that dammed coyote had something to do with it.

I read that and all I could think was wassamatta you?

Did anyone have Bullwinkle in the death pool? There’d have to be some conversion for the scoring I suppose. What’s 54 in moose years? Cartoon moose years actually.

Three minutes of my life just passed.
I’ll never get them back.

Fan mail from some flounder?

Boris! It says here “Do NOT kill Moose and Squirrel”! :eek:

Hoo boy . . .

A sad day for Frostbite Falls and Moosylvania.

Fearless Leader will spend rest of life with ten dissidents in two room walk up apartment with no toilet.

Well then, good think it was NOT Moose and Squirrel got killed.
It was ONLY Moose.
Clever. No? :cool:

The culprit was probably the same person who smashed the fairy in the Fractured Fairy Tales Book.

I suspect Edward Everett Hoton