The demons within (poop humor-TMI)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I had been considering with my beloved Selma what it was yesterday that made me feel so ill. Was it the bagel with cream cheese? The Cream of Chicken Soup? The Ice Cream? Today, after a long day of work, I sat down with some of the same Fat Free Vanilla Fudge Brownie ice cream. Let’s join in, as the hero has a revelation shortly thereafter…

Troy McClure SF: Yep, it was the ice cream.

Troy McClure SF: Damn, that stuff is tasty, too

Selma Bouvier SC: yeah that does sound good

Troy McClure SF: Oh god, what a horrid smell!

Troy McClure SF: I’t’s chocolate! How could you be so foul?!

Selma Bouvier SC: whaaaa?

Troy McClure SF: My farts

Selma Bouvier SC: gross

Troy McClure SF: Seriously, I’ve never made a smell like this.

Troy McClure SF: It’s like grilled pork

Troy McClure SF: You know that scene in Star Wars when they fire the Death Star laser, and all those little lasers shoot, and form into one big laser burst, annihilating the medical frigate? That’s what’s going on in my bowels right now. The enemy forces are rallying, consolidating, and are about to unleash their fur.

Selma Bouvier SC: does that mean that your ass is about to destroy the world?

Troy McClure SF: Possibly. You should go while you still can. It’s 75 miles to Santa Cruz… that’s at the edge of the initial blast radius. If you go now, you may have a chance

Selma Bouvier SC: but i want to stay with you

Selma Bouvier SC: i want to be at ground zero when it all goes down

Troy McClure SF: When it all goes brown, you mean?

Selma Bouvier SC: lol

Selma Bouvier SC: i want to be vaporized by your ass along with you

Troy McClure SF: It feels like weasels

Selma Bouvier SC: crawling around your rectum?

Troy McClure SF: yeah

Troy McClure SF: With claws intact.

Selma Bouvier SC: do you think they’re breeding in there too?

Troy McClure SF: Probably not. Not when their Day of Delivery is at hand

Selma Bouvier SC: i think they might be multiplying

Selma Bouvier SC: i think your ass is fertile breeding ground for weasels

Troy McClure SF: Aughhhhhhh brb

to be continued…

2

I know that was a typo, and I ain’t making fun, but – that line, like that, just strikes me as pure gold. :smiley:

Don’t mind me – weird frame o’ mind tonight. :slight_smile:

3

Did she actually say “lol”? Because that would be really sad.

4

I used to say it all the time. Not “ell oh ell!” but “lol!” and roll my eyes back like I was having a seizure while I laughed. I did this whenever someone told a retarded joke.

5

“Selma Bouvier SC: i want to be vaporized by your ass along with you”

Sniff… spring is in the air. True love always makes me teary-eyed. :slight_smile:

6

You know, snorting Sam Adams Cream Stout is quite an experience, both for my nostrils and for the keyboard.

7

Nah, AIM conversation.

8

NO… must…stop…self before I post any more TMI… stuff…

must…go…now…

9

The world will officially end when “lol” becomes commonplace in spoken english.