The Donald needs our help!

I almost posted this to Great Debates. Fortunately, reality set in…

Now that The Donald has thrown his (very expensive, designer) hat into the ring as a potential candidate for president, it’s obvious that he needs our help. Local radio reported that his first choice for VP is Oprah Winfrey. Pretty lame, IMHO. I would suggest Jerry Springer instead. He has previous government experience, plus the ability to turn each and every Cabinet meeting into a bloody, profanity laden free-for-all. The pay-per-view aspect alone could eliminate the need for taxes.

Who do you nominate for Trump’s VP, and why?

The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik

First we need to look at the function of a VP and who would complement Donald.

  1. Good name combination (ex: Bush and Quayle) For this we need someone with the last name of Card and we have Trump/Card for pres.

  2. Somebody that makes the pres look good. (Ex: Quayle’s stupidity made Bush look good) For Donald we need either Burt Renoylds (sp) or William Shatner because their bad hair pieces makes Donald’s hair look almost good.

  3. Someone that would make an assassin think twice about killing the pres. (Ex: No one wanted Quayle as pres so they did not try to kill Bush) For this purpose Jerry Falwell (sp) or any of his type should do.

  4. Someone that can continue the pres. legacy after his two terms. (Ex: Reagan and Bush) For this Donald would never want to give up the pres so he would choose himself.

  5. Someone that no one will remember even after 8 years. (Ex: Carter’s VP what was his name?) For this one I have someone in mind but I cannot remember his name for obvious reasons.


Is it just me or is this election going to be a little more surreal than usual? Donald Trump, Warren Beatty…Oprah?

Maybe the whole Clinton thing has somehow led these people to rediscover the American childhood dream: Wow! Anyone can grow up to be President!

The thing I first thought when I heard of the proposed Trump/Winfrey ticket was, “Australia or England?” I’m sure either country would be admitting fleeing U.S. immigrants under the circumstances, I’m just not sure where I’d rather live.

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Look for the new dinner cruises on the scenic reflecting pool! And don’t forget to lease space early in the Trump Washington Twin Towers, straddling the historic Washington Monument!

If there was any fairness in the universe, Jesse Ventura would force him to run with The Ivana.

I’d like to see him nominate former NYC Mayor Ed Koch. Why?

Say “Trump/Koch” five times fast!

At least we wouldn’t have to wade through any boring campaign fundraising scandals with the Trump/Winfrey ticket.

Donald Trump was blathering about something on CNN yesterday, but I was too busy not listening to pay any attention.

So, he’s running? Or am I the victim of a cruel joke? (Or both…)

Veni, Vidi, Visa … I came, I saw, I bought.

What is it about fame that convinces celebrities that they are qualified to run the country?

I mean, it’d be one thing if their fame was in the political arena, but actors? Real estate moguls?

Am I alone in thinking these men megalomaniacs?

Great… if Donald/Oprah win, then we can hear about how Steadman earned his way to the U.S. Naval Observatory using only his street smarts and cunning business sense.

“Give the Governor harrumph!”

You mean that Ted Turner hasn’t made his announcement yet? I expect to hear it any day - with Lady Jane as his campaign manager.

Or maybe he’s waiting on The Donald to tap him for that VP spot.

The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. - Henry Van Dyke

777,Jerry Falwell? Are you joking? Do you know how many nuts out there who Want him for president who would say God told them to kill Donald?

I was referring to more of those on the other side of the fence so to speak. I guess I forgot about those wackos.

Sorry. Though I cannot come up with anyone better at the moment.


If Mr. Trump wants to be President, one would hope he has set his own house in order first. Has he? Hey, even Cecil pointed out that “The Donald” was having financial troubles. (Maybe that’s why he and Ivana did that pizza commercial, hmmmm? :wink:

Jeffery is on to something here. I say The Donald should pick Quayle. He would help him get the conservative vote. He is, as much as I hate to say it, somewhat of an expert in military defense systems, a plus in this time of needed rebuilding of our armed forces. But most of all, he makes a great bulletproof vest. I can think no person, friend or foe, that would want Quayle as president.


I’m in the “David Letterman” camp for picking who I want to be the next president - I want someone who is entertaining. Forget credentials, the president is pretty much powerless these days anyway, and the economy is running itself. We need someone who can give us some yucks over our morning cereal while we read the paper.

Therefore, Donald Trump would be fine. Forget Oprah or Streisand or any of the shrill hollywood types, they’d just be too annoying. The Jesse Ventura/Dan Quayle ticket would be great. I’m mixed on Warren Beatty… on the one hand he’s pretty shrill and strident himself, but on the other hand there’s a good chance he could do some pretty good intern damage.

How about Dave Barry running with someone like Dennis Miller? They both actually have some pretty decent political beliefs, and the term would be a laugh riot.

Hmmm, since Oprah has so rashly passed up the challenge, how about Geraldo Rivera? He’s superficial enough, doncha think? And watching those two egos duke it out could provide the country with great amusement for 4 years.

Now this is thinking outside the box (they really should make those lids tighter) but how about OJ Simpson? “Trump/Simpson” The Donald would be assassination proof and it would place the full resources of the FBI at OJ’s disposal in his relentless search for the real killers.



Or, if he’s busy…

We have met the enemy, and He is Us.–Walt Kelly

I second the motion to nominate Dave Berry, though it’s not really necessary since he nominates himself every time. But I want a man (or woman) who has the GUTS to try and repeal ridiculous nonsense such as the 1.6 gallon max toilet legislation! Forget balancing the budget. I want my freakin’ toilet to flush EVERYTHING on the first flush!!!

Go, Dave!

Yes,dhanson!Dave Barry for President! Personally,I voted for Dick Gregory,funny,yet compassionate! Cecil/EdZ? :smiley: Better yet:Kellibelli/Satan! :wink:

You know, The Donald does need help; but whether it’s our help, or that of a highly trained specialist is debatable.

“The truth is uncontrovertible. Panic may resent it; ignorance may deride it; malice may destroy it, but there it is.”-Sir Winston Churchill