I almost posted this to Great Debates. Fortunately, reality set in…
Now that The Donald has thrown his (very expensive, designer) hat into the ring as a potential candidate for president, it’s obvious that he needs our help. Local radio reported that his first choice for VP is Oprah Winfrey. Pretty lame, IMHO. I would suggest Jerry Springer instead. He has previous government experience, plus the ability to turn each and every Cabinet meeting into a bloody, profanity laden free-for-all. The pay-per-view aspect alone could eliminate the need for taxes.
Who do you nominate for Trump’s VP, and why?
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
First we need to look at the function of a VP and who would complement Donald.
Good name combination (ex: Bush and Quayle) For this we need someone with the last name of Card and we have Trump/Card for pres.
Somebody that makes the pres look good. (Ex: Quayle’s stupidity made Bush look good) For Donald we need either Burt Renoylds (sp) or William Shatner because their bad hair pieces makes Donald’s hair look almost good.
Someone that would make an assassin think twice about killing the pres. (Ex: No one wanted Quayle as pres so they did not try to kill Bush) For this purpose Jerry Falwell (sp) or any of his type should do.
Someone that can continue the pres. legacy after his two terms. (Ex: Reagan and Bush) For this Donald would never want to give up the pres so he would choose himself.
Someone that no one will remember even after 8 years. (Ex: Carter’s VP what was his name?) For this one I have someone in mind but I cannot remember his name for obvious reasons.
The thing I first thought when I heard of the proposed Trump/Winfrey ticket was, “Australia or England?” I’m sure either country would be admitting fleeing U.S. immigrants under the circumstances, I’m just not sure where I’d rather live.
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If there was any fairness in the universe, Jesse Ventura would force him to run with The Ivana.
I’d like to see him nominate former NYC Mayor Ed Koch. Why?
Great… if Donald/Oprah win, then we can hear about how Steadman earned his way to the U.S. Naval Observatory using only his street smarts and cunning business sense.
If Mr. Trump wants to be President, one would hope he has set his own house in order first. Has he? Hey, even Cecil pointed out that “The Donald” was having financial troubles. (Maybe that’s why he and Ivana did that pizza commercial, hmmmm?
Jeffery is on to something here. I say The Donald should pick Quayle. He would help him get the conservative vote. He is, as much as I hate to say it, somewhat of an expert in military defense systems, a plus in this time of needed rebuilding of our armed forces. But most of all, he makes a great bulletproof vest. I can think no person, friend or foe, that would want Quayle as president.
I’m in the “David Letterman” camp for picking who I want to be the next president - I want someone who is entertaining. Forget credentials, the president is pretty much powerless these days anyway, and the economy is running itself. We need someone who can give us some yucks over our morning cereal while we read the paper.
Therefore, Donald Trump would be fine. Forget Oprah or Streisand or any of the shrill hollywood types, they’d just be too annoying. The Jesse Ventura/Dan Quayle ticket would be great. I’m mixed on Warren Beatty… on the one hand he’s pretty shrill and strident himself, but on the other hand there’s a good chance he could do some pretty good intern damage.
How about Dave Barry running with someone like Dennis Miller? They both actually have some pretty decent political beliefs, and the term would be a laugh riot.
Hmmm, since Oprah has so rashly passed up the challenge, how about Geraldo Rivera? He’s superficial enough, doncha think? And watching those two egos duke it out could provide the country with great amusement for 4 years.
Now this is thinking outside the box (they really should make those lids tighter) but how about OJ Simpson? “Trump/Simpson” The Donald would be assassination proof and it would place the full resources of the FBI at OJ’s disposal in his relentless search for the real killers.
I second the motion to nominate Dave Berry, though it’s not really necessary since he nominates himself every time. But I want a man (or woman) who has the GUTS to try and repeal ridiculous nonsense such as the 1.6 gallon max toilet legislation! Forget balancing the budget. I want my freakin’ toilet to flush EVERYTHING on the first flush!!!
Better yet:Kellibelli/Satan!