I got called a snob.
That is so completely counter to everything about me that it was not only dumb, but funny.
A friend and I were trading mock insults one day in high school, and I threatened her with this gem:
“I swear, I will kick your ass so hard you won’t even recognize it.”
She kinda giggled & said, “I don’t think I could recognize it now.”
[sub](This incident added to our repitoire of inside jokes - when we would talk on the phone & one would ask the other what she was doing, she would reply, “I’m just looking at my own ass.” Or “I’m admiring my ass” or “I’m staring deeply into my ass.” or… well, you get the point.)[/sub]
I’ll bet a lot of us have been called a geek…
as if that was a bad thing.
I think that the lamest insult that has ever been aimed at me was something to the effect of:
“well, you have sharp teeth…”
Umm…so what? No one else has ever complained. They’re called “incisors.” Look it up.
Geesh :rolleyes:
–==the sax man==–
So sue me. I’m a philosophy major.
The following exchange between my brother and youngest sister:
Bro: Stop acting like an idiot!
Sis: Who’s acting??
Still cracks me up after all these years.
My ex-roommate used “English Major” as an insult. What-ever.
Nah, I’m Scottish - just a sneaky cheat. 
My friend was accusing someone of cowardice and said “you’re a chicken - quack, quack”. (Maybe you had to be there.)
BTW, it’s amadán (not that it really matters).
A local radio personality was droning on about a local politico who was seemingly disliked non-whites.
The insult?.. “every time he opens his mouth, another racial epitaph:confused: comes out!”
Another one…
A local bar was having a “Trivia Contest” night. One could win t-shirts, free beer, etc.
I answered correctly twelve questions in a row. My friend’s girlfriend was getting peeved that I got so many correct while she was faltering. On question #13, I faltered and couldn’t even guess at an answer. The exchange went like this…
Me- I don’t know.
Her- AH HA! YOU don’t know!
Me- Nope, not a clue!
Her- See?!
Me- Huh? 
Her- You’re not as smart as you think!
Yeah, I know. It would have been WAAAAY too easy to recover from THAT last stinging remark, but I took the high road instead.
“You know, you’re not impressing anybody.”
blink, blink What makes you think I’m trying to impress anyone?
Oh, wait, I see now . . . your pitiful life revolves around choosing every word, every stitch of clothing, every last detail to impress your half-wit worthless friends, and you are incapable of grasping the fact that someone might like to do a good job at something they enjoy for reasons of personal pride and satisfaction. [sup]*[/sup]
[sup]*[/sup] This worldly and self-confident reply is precisely not the way I responded in my freshman year of high school. As I recall, I just muttered, “Gimme back my paper or I’ll tell Mrs. G-------.” However, I happened to meet this same young man in the dining hall during my sophomore year of college. We ate lunch together, and he asked my major, and, cringing, waiting for the insult, I told him. He sighed sadly, and said, “That’s so cool. You actually know what you want to do with your life. I’m just majoring in government because I can’t think of anything better to do.”
So, take heart, teenaged Dopers. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I was called “cool” by the meanest boy in my high school.