The End of Harry Potter

Gawker claims to have intimate knowledge of the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. (I’m not posting it here, click the link if you wish.)

What are the chances that any of these “leaks” are real?

Those two words sum up what everyone thinks is going to happen. It’s hard to say if it’s true or not.

What “leaks”? All I see is something about the fate of Harry himself. Was something else there orignally?

No, that’s something else entirely. As I said, the supposed leak can be summed up in two words:

Harry dies

To paraphrase Scholastic’s response to the Gabriel “leak”…there’s a lot of junk out there so consider this just another theory.

If we were to accept all the speculation then everybody dies.

Chances that any of the “leaks” are real are zero to none. However, with 1000 people making things up, one of them is bound to get some facts right. I could make up 10 fake personas on the internet and come up with 10 “leaks”, and surely one of them would be right.

Sounds like a bet to me, Arnold. Go ahead and post your 10 fake leaks, and we’ll see if any of them turn out right.

I don’t even need ten. Here’s my leaks:

Leak #1:

Harry dies

Leak #2:

Harry lives

Keith Olbermann had a very interesting educated guess about how Harry would end up.

Don’t follow the Link unless you want to see what he said:


Olbermann’s final paragraph is a classic:

“Harry, Ron and Hermione enter a diner. They order Butter Beer and onion rings. Voldemort is sitting at the lunch counter, marking time. Outside, Ron’s sister, Ginny, is having a hell of a time parallel parking, even though she’s using her wand. And just then the door to the diner opens and Harry Potter looks up and—the last 11 pages of ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’ are freaking blank.”

Good one Chronos, but what really happens is that Harry Potter falls halfway through the veil in the Department of Mysteries, is pulled back by Ginny Weasley, and lives out the rest of his half-existence as a ghostly wraith haunting the halls of Hogwarts. Sorry!

OK then, my 10 “leaks”, without a lot of thought to them. Of course, now I start writing them down, I realize this “leak” business is not as easy as it seems. Coming up with mundane stuff is trivial (Harry won’t play any quidditch in book 7) but surprising turn of events are harder to come by. Some of these probably won’t count because they are easily deduced from reading JK Rowling’s website and additional sites (mugglenet, leaky cauldron, accio-quote, Harry Potter lexicon are the ones I’ve visited). And of course many of our SDMB friends have great suggestions. I think I’ll stop at 10 and happily wait another three weeks until all is revealed.

[spoiler]1. Luna Lovegood will die, sacrificing herself for Ron Weasley, on which she has had a crush for a long time.

  1. When Harry Potter returns to Privet Drive for his last visit, little did he know that he was being followed by Death Eaters, or that Aunt Petunia would risk her life to save her nephew.

  2. Wormtail’s life debt to Harry Potter will be repaid when, overcome with remorse, and weary of being terrorized by Voldemort, he reveals to Harry the location of the last horcrux.

  3. Voldemort will die, but not at Harry’s hand! Snape, in his final moment of redemption, will get rid of Mr. Riddle, showing once and for all that prophecies don’t have to come true if you decide not to make them true. Snape will not survive this encounter and Harry will forever have to live with his conflicted feelings towards Snape.

  4. Batty neighbour Mrs. Figg will (surprise ! surprise!) found out she has magic powers late in life, and help out Harry when he returns for his last trip to Privet Drive.

  5. Draco Malfoy will renounce the Death Eaters and help the Order of the Phoenix. Like many purebloods before him, he will realize that following lord Voldemort is the road to ruin.

  6. There is a traitor amongst Harry’s friends, someone who will unknowingly help the Death Eaters. Cho Chang didn’t really mean to do it, but she had no choice. If only her betrayal hadn’t caused the death of loyal friend Rubeus Hagrid!

  7. You’ll all be glad to hear that Neville Longbottom will end up as a herbology teacher at Hogwarts.

  8. Aberforth Dumbledore delivers to Harry Potter a scroll from Albus “to be delivered to Harry in the event of my death”. The scroll will contain key information on how to accomplish Harry’s goal - and exactly what his parents were doing in Godric’s Hollow, something no one else knew!

  9. Hogwarts has many more surprises hidden inside it than anyone would suspect. Not even the marauders knew what Harry would find there - Godric Gryffindor’s old armor, hidden in a secret room of the castle. A missing piece of this armor will turn out to be one of Voldemort’s horcruxes.

Not to detract from Mr. Olbermann, but I have seen both his final guess and his “Soprano” ending mentioned at the SDMB before.

Very good, Arnold. I’ll bookmark this thread, and see if you turn out to be right.

Come on, he ain’t gonna die at the end. The whole story is classic monomyth.

None of the Big Three will die. Harry will kill Voldemort, at least partially through some magical deus ex machina.

Snape is, of course, working on Dumbledore’s orders, out of a seething hatred for Voldemort because he (Snape) secretly loved Lily Potter. That’s been telegraphed for a long, long time.

Draco Malfoy will end up humbled and beaten, but not dead.

One or more supporting characters will end up dead. Just not the Big Three.

I’d bet money on all this.

Hm, let’s take a crack at this, shall we? Some are semi-serious, some not.(Full disclosure: I ripped off a couple of these from elsewhere)

[spoiler]1) Ron is possessed by a Horcrux(like Ginny in CoS) and betrays Harry to Voldemort.

  1. Dumbledore trusted Snape because Snape overheard the entire prophecy, but told Voldemort only the first half on Dumbledore’s orders. Dumbledore actually engineered the events of that Halloween night, 1981 – he knew that there would be danger to Voldemort in trying to kill either Harry or Neville, and purposefully tried to have the prophecy fulfilled.

  2. Ginny does something rash and gets captured by Death Eaters. Harry sacrifices his own life to save hers, and that sacrifice leaves Ginny with a lingering protection. Too bad for Voldemort that he never considers such things. Voldemort is killed by his own Avada Kedavra after it rebounds off of Ginny, leaving the Girl Who Lived with only a strange, lightning bolt-shaped scar.

  3. Bill and Fleur are the two unplanned deaths, while Remus Lupin got the reprieve. Fleur is killed in a Death Eater attack on the Burrow during her wedding; Bill is killed while breaking a curse protecting a horcrux.

  4. Before the wedding, Harry rows with Ginny about the breakup. Ginny argues that both Malfoy and Snape will have told Voldemort that they’d been dating, and that Voldemort would immediately realize that Harry had just broken up with her to try and protect her. Harry realizes that she’s right and panics, and eventually manages to convince Hermione to pose as his girlfriend at the wedding. Harry manages to convince Ron to go along with the charade by arguing that it’s the only way to protect Ginny. Very reluctantly, Ron pretends to angrily spill details to Rita Skeeter about how Harry had started dating Ginny while going through a rough patch with Hermione, and had ended up cheating on Ginny with Hermione repeatedly by the end of the school year.

  5. Harry discovers that he has a connection with all of the horcruxes, just as he has a connection with Voldemort and Nagini.

  6. Harry Potter’s final words: “Ginny, take James and go! It’s him! Go! Run! I’ll hold him off!”

  7. Early in the book, Snape manages to prove his innocence to Harry. He passes on plenty of intelligence throughout the book, and each time Harry is faced with the choice of whether to act on the information – and risk exposing Snape – or do nothing, rendering the information useless.

  8. Now that the only one he ever feared is dead, Voldemort turns his attention to Harry Potter. Voldemort quickly realizes that Harry has seemingly dropped off of the face of the earth; none of his spies know anything about Harry’s whereabouts or what he’s doing. Slightly disquieted, Voldemort tries to draw him out by sending his Death Eaters to attack anyone who was thought to be close to Harry: the Dursleys, Lupin, Cho, Hagrid, Ginny, etc.

  9. It isn’t real. While Hogwarts does exist, and Harry is indeed the Boy Who Lived, Voldemort actually died that Halloween night. The books are from Harry’s perspective, and they depict Harry’s slow descent into madness caused by the remnants of the curse that gave him his scar. None of his wilder adventures involving Voldemort actually happened; they were just delusions of an increasingly paranoid Harry. All of Half-Blood Prince was actually an extended nightmare on Harry’s part; he was committed at the end of his fifth year after putting the Cruciatus curse on an innocent witch who he claimed “killed Sirius”.[/spoiler]

He grows up and marries you. Is that what you wanted to hear?

Sorry Bryan, I’m holding out for Fleur Delacour.

Voldemort cuts a deal with the Muggle Government and outfits an entire company of SAS Commandos with special goggles enabling them to see Hogwarts. Under cover of night, they attack.

Hilarity ensues.

Er…I mean, everyone is killed.

Game Over.

And of course, since there’s this big Harry Potter theme park being built, that will be the theme of closing time. Groups of park employees dressed like SAS Commandos will sweep through the park, forcing everyone to stampede the exits.

“Goodnight Children! JK Rowlings says ‘Fuck You and Thanks for the Money’!”

Assuming that Keith Olbermann actually wrote that himself, it means that he’s actually read all the books. I wouldn’t have thought he was a fan. And yes, various people have suggested much of what Olbermann proposed.

It’s essentially that Harry finds and destroys all of the horcruxes, but then discovers that the final one is the scar. Either he has to die or has to give up being a wizard in order to prevent any possibility of Voldemort ever returning. So rather than dying, he has to become a muggle, which for him would be quite painful. But what I wondered about is how safe would he be? Even if Voldemort is gone, some of the Death Eaters might want to kill him. So perhaps he lives out his life at Hogwarts, like Argus Filch without any magical ability. Perhaps he remains under the protection of Snape.

So we’re never gonna take that romantic walk on the beach?