Point of interest here–there are waiting lists to adopt infants, even infants who have disabilities, including mental disabilities. No baby is unwanted, many are stuck with parents who are unsuitable. IMHO what is really needed is more aggressive government intervention to quickly sever parental rights of those who are unfit to parent. I’m not against permanent sterilization either–of drug addicts, of child abusers, of child molesters, of rapists, of repeat violent offenders, or of people who REFUSE to work to support their offspring. This is not to imply that I am for sterilizing poor people. I think we need less foster care, too. Too damn many reports of abuse or foster parents who just are in it for the money. Better to put a child in a well-run, year-round boarding school than subject him/her to the foster care system and jerk them around from place to place.
Part of the problem here comes with the use of the word “abandon”. Hauling out (well, linking to) the old Merriam-Webster gives us:
Main Entry: 1 aban·don
Pronunciation: &-'ban-d&n
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English abandounen, from Middle French abandoner, from abandon, n., surrender, from a bandon in one’s power
Date: 14th century
1 a : to give up to the control or influence of another person or agent b : to give up with the intent of never again claiming a right or interest in
2 : to withdraw from often in the face of danger or encroachment <abandon ship>
3 : to withdraw protection, support, or help from
4 : to give (oneself) over unrestrainedly
5 a : to cease from maintaining, practicing, or using <abandoned their native language> b : to cease intending or attempting to perform <abandoned the escape>
- aban·don·er noun
- aban·don·ment /-d&n-m&nt/ noun
synonyms ABANDON, DESERT, FORSAKE mean to leave without intending to return. ABANDON suggests that the thing or person left may be helpless without protection <abandoned children>. DESERT implies that the object left may be weakened but not destroyed by one’s absence <a deserted town>. FORSAKE suggests an action more likely to bring impoverishment or bereavement to that which is forsaken than its exposure to physical dangers <a forsaken lover>. synonym see in addition RELINQUISH
Technically, any parent who places their child for adoption with no intention of seeing that child again is ‘abandoning’ them. However, the note makes clear the connotation of abandonment in this context “suggests that the thing or person left may be helpless without protection.”
This is clearly false when a parent leaves a child in the care of a responsible authority, such as a hospital.
I suggest that we avoid semantic confusion and reserve abandon for the dumpster babies, and use relinquish for child left with authorities.
Thanks, Single Dad. That’s exactly what I was trying to say in my post on 03-08-2000 @ 07:28 PM. There is a large difference there that seems to escape some people.
Peace,
mangeorge