It’s funny to me how some people will watch The Exorcist and say that it’s not factual. HA! And it’s funny to me how people who know that it’s real somehow believe that little Regan O’Neil was possessed by Satan. Well… Maybe.
I’m not even sure where to start on this. I was just talking to a single mom in the office, who is raising a teenaged boy. She asked me how my weekend was. I mentioned how The Exorcist was probably based on real life events. She looked concerned and asked me what I meant. I said “I’m not sure what it’s like to raise a teenaged BOY, but…” That was 20 minutes ago. She still hasn’t stopped laughing. She gets it.
The other night, my GF and her ex-husband (and a few others) took their 12-year-old daughter out to dinner for her birthday. The girl was showered in presents, and taken to a VERY expensive restaurant of the girl’s choosing. The whole reason we went there is because her favorite dessert was there – baked Alaska. Everything was going reasonably drama-free until it came time to order dessert. Well, apparently, they no longer serve that.
“That’s too bad” didn’t cover it. “Darn, I guess I’ll just order something else” wasn’t in the girl’s vocabulary. Nope. Everybody HATES her and IT’S NOT FAIR and LIFE SUCKS and I HATE YOU ALL AND I HOPE YOU ALL DIE and WATCH MY HEAD SPIN. She then ran from the table to go vomit pea soup on the sous chef. Ten minutes later she was a sweet kid again. Eleven minutes later? Not so much.
What gets me is the fucking DRAMA.
The thing is, she can be an adorable kid, full of love and compassion and sweetness. Yesterday afternoon, I was snuggling her mom on her (mom’s) bed (above the sheets and fully clothed – it was all very PG), and the girl climbed into bed with us to hug her mom and say “I love you mommy.” Later that night it was “Shut up, bitch!” I guess that’s a rough translation of “I think I’ve been very reasonable in requesting a certain video game for my birthday and I’m disappointed that all I got was everything else I asked for, therefore I will forego my appointed bedtime for another three hours.”
Sugar and spice and call a damned priest already. Sheesh!
I guess I should thank Og for my daughter. She is a well behaved, straight A student that will occasionally storm off to her room but never pulls the full out exorcist routine. She is 11 now.
On the other hand, maybe this is a trade off as instead of a possessed daughter, I have Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes for my son. Seriously, the only thing he is missing is the stuffed tiger.
Last year he was sent to the Principal’s office twice a week on average. He does not listen real well, to the point where I tell him stuff and ask him what I just said and he usually does not know.
At least this year, with the aid of medication, he only visited the Principal once the entire year.
I still can’t believe it. Never in a million years would I have dreamed she’d say something like that.
There’s chemical stuff going on, as well as an autism problem. And I think the divorce was really hard on her. And then there’s the whole posession by Satan thing.
Seriously, she’s a pretty well-behaved kid. But this weekend she went waaaaaaaaaaaaaay off the rails.
I hope not, she had a phase earlier that we got through pretty well. She is a hard worker, an avid reader and eats much better than I do. She is a great kid and I think (hope) we’ll be lucky with her.
Now my son, well he is payback and more for any grief I caused my parents.
Oh, Lord. <yawn> You had me until you told me she was 12.
She’ll get over it. Of course, you have still the worst to get through (that would be 13-and into 14 a bit. AFAIC’ed all 13 year olds, whether male or female, should be hung in a closet until they turn 14). 12=DRAMA!!! and everything is a DRAMA!!!
This whole next year (and if she’s entering 7th grade, fasten your seatbelts; it’s going to be a bumpy night!) will be DRAMA!!![sup]TM[/sup] as in, Jordan told Kayleigh about Monique liking Zach, but Lauren had no business sitting next to Joey just like that! She thinks she’s all that and more. and OMG, I’ve got to write a 2 page paper on Thomas Jefferson I hate my teacher so much he’s a jerk and did you see Kayleigh stuck with Emmett last period in gym. LOL LOL! etc.
And then around 15 and 1/2 things start to settle down and she is recognizably human again, and by 17, usually a really nice girl. So, don’t lose hope.
(if it makes you feel better, the 12s/13s/14s aren’t any happier INSIDE their skins than you are as a helpless observer. This does not include the Actively Evil Teen, of which I am thankful to only know via hearsay, but I’m sure they exist…
In front of company.
Not, I mean, blow me in front of company. I mean I said it with company present.
I’m not proud. And, eventually, I turned out okay. But still. Shudder.
She never says that to my face. But I know that she’s told her mother, on at least two occasions, “Why don’t you just marry him and have other kids and leave me alone to die?” I get the feeling that if she doesn’t get 100% attention, she thinks she’s getting 0% attention.
She has two parents already. There is no way I’m going to get involved!
Nowadays most cell phones having video features. So just take a vidclip of her going off the deep end and play it back for her 24 hours later. A 12-year-old girl should well be able to project the disgust/contempt of seeing someone else do that at a restaurant on top of knowing that she was the perpetrator of this particular incident.
Been there, done that, watched things get worse then remembered “Oh yeah, she’s a girl, probably shouldn’t candidly record her on video.”
A lady I was seeing years ago had a teenage daughter and I was fortunate enough to wittness everything. When I first got together with my current wife she had a daughter entering that phase, I warned her but it did no good. After all, she was a girl herself once, what the hell did I know. Then one night, the demons came and their name was Legion. It was hard to watch but I knew all I could do was to be there for Momma.
Now the 14 year old is coming into swing so it’s round two.
Fortunately there is enough time for a breather before the 9 year old kicks in.
The only advice I can give for any preemptive action is training. Follow these steps and things should work fine.
[ul]
[li]Step One - Have your lovely SO slap you in the face with a size 13 steel toe work boot.[/li][li]Step Two - Look at her and say “I love you very much”[/li][li]Step Three - Slap her in the face with the other steel toe boot[/li][li]Step Four - Have her look you in the face and tell you she loves you.[/li][li]Step Five - VERY IMPORTANT - Put boots on and tromp through a horse pasture[/li][li]Step Six - Repeat Steps One through Five until one or both of you loses consciousness.[/li][/ul]
Remember to train every day and when those magical and mysterious hormones arrive you will be in fine shape. You’ll hardly feel a thing.
*Disclaimer - I love all of my girls with all of my heart, this was presented as satire only, I would never hit my wife with a boot, at least not without a clearly established safe word.
Oie… I am divorced, although I am in good terms with my ex-wife, and we have a (beautiful, if I may say so) daughter who is now 9 and appears to be well-adjusted and nice, if a tad on the energetic side…
…are you telling me that she is going to transform into the Shrew from Hades by the time she’s 12?
