Two words:
“Cat Fud”
A hunting party is out on the veldt, and a new animal has poked it’s head up throught the long grass:
“Situations changed, Jules. Hand me my mime rifle.”
Sweet.
Hee…love reliving these.
Entwife, that’s my dad’s ABSOLUTE favorite, ever.
[slightly OT hijack]
When we moved about 3 weeks ago, my dad helped us. I assigned him to the kitchen and reminded him to clearly label each box after he sealed it up. So he packed a box with the canned goods and other foodstuff in it, and then labeled it in big gian letters, FUD. What a funny guy!
[/sOTh]
Qadgop, I can’t believe I forgot about “buffalo breath”!
Another pair I can’t believe I forgot to mention (and hasn’t been mentioned yet) - a caveman is flattened under mammoth tracks with a tube of some sort sticking out of his mouth. Caption is: (prehistoric date of some sort): Gak Eisenberg invents the first and last silent mammoth whistle.
And…a caveman is standing in front of a screen, on which is an image of a very spiky dinosaur tail, which the man is pointing to. Caption: “Now this is called the “Thagomizer”, after the late Thag Simmons.”
Man, how I miss Gary Larson. But I’m glad he stopped when he did…he was definitely beginning to lose his touch.
Chaim Mattis Keller
View from outside an airliner in flight,
Visible in all the little round windows are passengers with eyes WIDE open,
Pilot is speaking to Co-Pilot,
“My God, Frank, the fuel light is on, we’re all going to die …
No, wait, my mistake; that’s the intercom light.”
A dog and a mailman are standing over a dropped can of mace and the caption says (paraphrased):
And for a moment time froze, as both pondered the ramifications of this new developement.
Two mosquitos are standing on human skin, one of them is drinking blood and looks alarmingly bloated, and the other one is shouting: “Pull out, Betty! Pull out! You’ve hit an artery!”
Oh Man! So many of my favorites have already been mentioned, but a couple of others come to mind:
A building with a “Crisis Center” sign on the roof is on fire AND about to go over a waterfall,
One cop to another in front of a man holding a shotgun with bodies all around - “Well, by golly, he DOES have a license to do that!”
And my all time favorite:
A dog holding a violin is looking mournfully out the front window of his house as two other dogs attack a mailman!
“Suddenly, in the middle of the flock, the cook is goosed!”
-Soggy cat on the floor in front of a group of people. “Well I guess both Warren and the cat are OK, but thank goodness for the Heimlich maneuver.”
-Brick wall with a “Warning Eyeglass Testing Area” sign, man in lab coat, wearing glasses sprinting toward the wall.
The second one gsteinma mentioned reminds me of this one. (I wouldn’t say it’s my “favorite” - it’s haunting rather than funny - but it’s definitely one that sticks in my mind.)
Male deer is lying on his back with a bullet in his chest, his wife is standing there crying and wringing her hands (hoofs?), a hunter is standing at the door holding a still-smoking rifle, and two cops are taking a report.
Caption: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but his license does check out, and after all, your husband was in season. Remember, just because someone knocks doesn’t mean that you have to let him in.”
A doctor examing a patient walks behind him and spots a huge rhinocerous stuck into the patient’s lower back. “Now wait a minute, you may not be suffering from kidney stones after all.”
Natives on a tropical island spot a canoe coming ashore and shout “Anthropologists! Anthropologists!” as they rush to hide all their tvs, blenders, cars, etc.
Two polar bears in front of an igloo which has a bite taken out of it.
“Hey, I love these things! Crunchy outside and a chewy center!”
“Hey, Norton!.. Ain’t that your dog attackin’ the President?”
I’ll admit the “Puddin’ Tame” completely escapes me.
I can’t believe this one hasn’t been mentioned yet.
A huge statue with tourists all around it, the tourists wearing the usual flowered shirts, shorts and cameras around their neck. The statue is simply a huge human leg between two giant slices of bread. A tourist couple is reading the accompanying plaque. The caption reads:
“In memory of the Donner Party.” (Or words to that effect.)
Cows man. They were cows of course.
I always really appreciated the ones with no words. There sits a cat with 2 peg arms. There sits a piranha in a fish bowl. Nuff said.
I was always particularly fond of the following:
Two saber-toothed tigers are picking their teeth, discussing their just-finished meal. You just know whose clothes those are on the ground, because one of them is saying, “Y’know, I’ve eaten a lot of these things, and they’ve made all sorts of noises, but that’s the first time I ever heard one go ‘Yabba Dabba Doo’.”
Oddly, even though I’m not a dog-owner, the 3 faves that come to mind all feature dogs:
-
(cat fud). Dog has placed signs leading to an open dryer door, labelled “CAT FUD” in childish block letters. Cat is curiously investigating; dog is hiding behind the dryer, thinking “oh please…on please”. The idea that dogs can write, but can’t spell very well, cracks me up.
-
Male dog tanking up from the garden hose in front of his house, while wife dog snipes “well, I see you’re planning to spend the day roaming the neighborhood with your buddies”.
-
Scientist testing his dog-language translator (weird gizmo hat). All the dogs in the neighborhood are saying a variation of “hey!”.
Scientists trying to decypher dolphin language. “We’re getting another one of those ‘Ah blah es pan yoll’ sounds.”
Another one from the Prehistory which was never published. 3 cowboys standing around a cooking fire. Apparantly one said he was hungry enough to eat a horse and one thing led to another. The look on the horses face is just priceless.
Another one that never got published… the snake with a fairly unmistakable lump in its body realising it is too bloated to squeeze out of the (now empty) toddler’s play pen.
Oh, and ‘When clowns go bad’ was very neatly drawn.