A casual remark someone made in another thread led me to peruse the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted List. A couple of things just struck me as funny, which just goes to show that I have a seriously bent sense of humor.
This sounds more like a personals ad (“Legitimate businessman” seeks S/DWF…) than a Most Wanted listing for a guy who’s accused of being the head of “an organized crime group that allegedly controlled extortion, drug deals, and other illegal activities” and who has a penchant for knifing people. I mean, did they let this guy write his own listing or something? Does Usama Bin Laden enjoy long walks in the rain and cuddling by the fireplace? Is Eric Robert Rudolph described as an “outdoorsman type”?
This guy isn’t actually one of the Top Ten, but what the hell:
But can we call him Ray? Maybe he could make into the Top Ten if he just came up with some more effective aliases. And if I ever become a fugitive from justice, will it count as an “alias” that I don’t always use my middle initial? What about the fact that the Family Research Council has me on their mailing list as “Mike”, whereas in the real world I go by “Michael”?
It just goes to show you even criminals have a heart and they are just misunderstood people who cry for love and affection. If you would just give them your money in the first place they wouldn’t have to extort it from you. Oh, wait, that’s liberals… never mind… carry on…
With the relationship the FBI had with Whitey Bulger, they probably did let the guy write his own listing. For much of his career, the feds let him do whatever he wanted as long as he gave up dirt on the Italian mafia.