Went horse riding today.
Got into the saddle for the first time in my life.
That bloody thing (the horse called Chariot) got a mind of it’s own.
Boy,my ass hurts like if… like …
I wouldn’t know what to compare it to anyway. 
Well, does your ass hurt like you’ve been holding yourself up over a river of fire through sheer buttock power alone, or are you chapped like you’ve been dragged bare-assed across a cactus patch? 
I’ve only been riding a few times in my life, but I really noticed a difference in the horses I rode. I wish I’d had the means and a good excuse to buy a big old horse named Dollar that I had the pleasure of riding once. Dollar would respond without complaint or hesitation to any command I’d give him, even if it was just a subtle steering with the reins – unlike others I’ve ridden that knew where they were going and were happy to ignore the beginning rider and just do their thing. The only thing Dollar wouldn’t do was go faster than a walk for more than a few steps. He just wasn’t in any hurry, which was fine by me. As far as I was concerned he was the perfect horse: big, friendly, lazy, and cooperative as long as it didn’t conflict with being lazy.
I’ll go with getting dry humped by a bar stool.
There’s definately an art to it but once you get it the experience is much more agreeable. Stirrup length is crucial, as is when to give them a little push and, therefore, your butt a little lift.
I’ve got a long list of things I could compare it to, but Cowgirl Jules comparisons not only cracked me up - at least one of those will have to be added to* my *list …
Multiple horse owner here … My wife and I have been working with horses for more years than I’d care to admit to, sooo, on a more serious note:
There is a world of difference between a horse you own that is well trained and disiplined vs. a stable horse that you rent by the hour. Rental horses rellay don’t have a mind of their own. They can tell when they have a novice at the reins, and just go through the motions so they can get back to the stable and get you off their back. They get few intellectual challenges and are so bored that they just ignore you. Not good for much more than to satisfy a novelty enterainment moment, not unlike a carnival ride.
If this is an activity that really interests you, try to find a local riding club or breeder where you can spend some supervised time on a quality animal. The relationship that develops between one of these *very intelligent *animals and their owners is very special and one that must be experienced to be understood.
My wife’s Quarter Horse is now 18 years old, and still has a good 7 more working years before retirement. Sometimes I think she loves that horse more than me. :eek:
My Paint is 14, and I can expect to still be working with him 12 or more years from now. In fact, he may even out last me. (He doesn’t smoke …)
Our draft animals are just babies: 2 @ 6 years old and 2 @ 8 years.
Turning now to your, ahhh, discomfort: Saddle fit (for your butt, not just the horse) is very important. Also, a proper riding lesson or 3 will teach you how to avoid the PITA. It’s really not much more than proper posture, timing, and an understanding of the animals different gaits.
Hope this helps …
Lucy
I’m just glad to see this wasn’t a heroin thread… 
Ahhh…
I used to barrel race, owned four horses (in sequence, not all at once, four progressively better horses I might add, as I trained each one of them and they were in much better shape when I sold them, so I could move up), and rode every day–most days for hours. When I was in college I got too busy to ride my horse enough and gave the hobby up except as an occasional rider.
Now, when we go riding, we ride for a couple of hours and I get sore. My husband, who never did much riding as a kid, does not get sore.
I tell myself it’s because I’m riding and he’s just sitting on the horse–but I think there’s more to it than that. I seem to get equally sore whether I ride for half an hour or three hours plus.
I also rode growing up and gave it up in college. Last year, I decided to start taking lessons again, after almost ten years of not riding. The day after my first lesson I could barely walk. I attributed it to knowing what to do (heels down, signal with legs, grip along length of leg, etc., etc.) but my body being too out of shape to handle it. It’s hard to shut off what you know you should be doing and just do what you can.
To the OP, as others have said, it’s all a matter of posture and correct seating. A few lessons will get you past a sore butt and on to sore leg muscles. 
When you get used to riding them, try jumping them. Not me, but my daughter. (She’s now on her college equestrian team.) I even keep my eyes open when she goes over fences. She’s never broken anything in ten years of riding and about eight jumping (hunters,) but I’ve seen her go over fences without the horse more than I care to remember.
it builds up the muscles, and your balance, really well.
Been a good while since I’ve set a horse, but it was always my inner thighs / groin that got sore.
Heh, heh. You remind me of the first time I rode a horse… mine was named Billy Bones.
Yeah, that helped boost the old confidence factor!