The Great 2023 Thanksgiving Thread

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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This whole OP is a bit too miscellaneous for CS, so here we are. That said, I will not object to its relocation to CS, as needed.

Well, here we are. Thanksgiving is fast approaching and this is the week of Running Around Like the Headless Chicken getting ready for the big day.

Yesterday my wife and I helped put together several dozen Thanksgiving food boxes for the local food pantry. We met with one of the volunteers a couple of weeks ago and compiled a list of things that would be most useful in said boxes, as well as the stuff that the food pantry tends not to get in donations. We do this pretty routinely and have for years but donations are seasonal and what they have a glut of one month will be in short supply the next therefore we always try to keep abreast of their current needs instead of blindly assuming. Based on that conversation we ordered a bushel of cheap can openers from Temu, got several cases of canned tuna and several more flats of small jars of peanut butter from a restaurant supply store in Eugene, and then carted all of it over to the food pantry. After helping weight and inventory all that we put together the Thanksgiving-specific food boxes. Luckily some kind soul donated several cases of these shelf-stable turkey meals, which we divvied up into boxes that were specifically set aside for people with limited or absent cooking facilities. Eating a cold turkey dinner on Thanksgiving isn’t ideal of course, but its better than being saddled with a frozen Stouffer’s meal and having no way to cook it, which would simply be adding insult to injury. A lot – and there are a lot, which is deeply unfortunate – of people who come to the food pantry have small kids at home so we try to add some extra goodies in the boxes that go to those homes: some candy, little toys, small Lego sets, and the like. It’s not really kosher per the official rules as all comers are supposed to be treated based solely on the household’s nutritional needs but there’s an… understanding… among the volunteers that this is a rule that’s ok to bend a bit. Kids need some extra love on Thanksgiving.

Now here we are, ready to kick of the week’s festivities in earnest. I need to do some last-minute grocery shopping. Luckily I made a big Thanksgiving-only shopping list 6 or so weeks ago and have already picked up much of what we need. The final vestiges of the list can be had with a quick trip to the store after work tomorrow. I have to teach M-T-W but a lot of my students are taking off for the week and so my “teaching” will likely be getting the remaining students to help organize the library, putting on movies, and going on nature walks around campus to see if we can find any remaing lepidoptera. On this week, I aint no real teacher. See? Double negative. It’s already begun.

For 23 years now my wife and I have been spending Thanksgiving at her folk’s house. A decade or so ago my MIL, in a fit of pique over the fact that some people had to work on Thanksgiving, decreed that dinner will start at noon. Previously it was 2pm, a time that was inconceivable to this young man who had up until then always enjoyed dinner where dinner belonged: at the end of the day. My wife’s family, I soon learned, never got that memo as they believed, with the hearty convictions of a new convert to a popular doctrine, that early afternoon was the appropriate time for a massive feast. However, such a meal time was problematic as some people arrived late. After pondering the vexing problem a bit my MIL decided that the only remedy would be to move it two hours back. Apparently moving it to noon would, in MIL’s view, help entice all comers into requesting the day off. Or something. I don’t really understand my MIL’s way of thinking and will not attempt to do so as that way lies madness. Regardless, here we are. Eating at noon. Eating a meal that takes hours to prepare. At noon.

Now, as I think about this I realize that overview is not quite accurate. For clarification: grace will be said by the senior male member of the family (they’re Pentecostals, so I guess this is A Thing) at noon, so naturally everyone better be there by then. Yes, they actually watch the clock so that they can pray at the correct time. Whatever. Eating time, of course, tends to come significantly a bit later because the whole thing is always a shit show a bit hectic, with food not ready or, more often, forgotten entirely so of course this necessitates one or more last minute trips to Safewa—whoops, I mean, 7-Eleven, because of course Safeway is closed and as is apparently a mandatory tradition someone will have forgotten the butter or Jimmy’s beer or little Timmy’s baby food some other random but vital thing. I confess one year it was I who forgot the Vital Thing, but I was quite young, very stupid, and unencumbered with OCD thus now have made a vow never to repeat such foolishness. Any last-minute trips to 7-Eleven are on them. Last year someone forgot to make mashed potatoes (how??) and, unfortunately potatoes, even the instant kind, aren’t something that our 7-Eleven carries.

Did I say shi… hectic? I’m confident this year will be no different. I’ve found that if I consider the whole afternoon a poorly executed performance art or a small-scale demonstration of the tragedy of the commons, then it becomes more bearable, albeit barely.

The Lancia clan, and by that I mean mostly Lancia himself, is in charge of: the turkey, the gravy, the stuffing, the apple pies, the cranberry sauce, and the cookies. And having them the whole spread ready well before noon on Thanksgiving day so they can be transported across town, hopefully without spilling or making a mess in the car or getting cold. Success in that endeavor has always been elusive. At least it’s a short trip.

My wife made a make-ahead-and-freeze apple pie filling a month or so ago and I’ll be using Stove-Top or Pepperidge Farms stuffing (don’t judge).

I found a fresh turkey at Costco – 23 lbs – yesterday and its in the fridge now, quietly awaiting its fate. I’ll make up a brine using the Alton Brown recipe but substituting unfiltered apple juice for the water, and then turkey will meet the brine Wednesday night. The pair spending a romantic, intimate night in the garage creates some unparalleled magic. Before the bird goes in the oven I’ll make up a mirepoix and add that to the roasting pan, along with some chicken stock and half a bottle or so of a good local sauvignon blanc. The resulting pan drippings are to die for and make the most exquisite gravy.

Tuesday night I’ll make up the cookies: peanut butter temptations using a mix of Rolo candies, peanut butter cups, and Hershey’s Kisses. Wednesday my wife will make the pies while I make the cranberry sauce and do the above-mentioned Turkey prep. Early – very, very early – on Thursday I’ll get up, put the turkey together in the roasting pan, and start it on its journey from disgusting blob to manna from heaven. Assuming all goes well 60% of the total meal will be ready to go at 11:00 in the ante meridiem on Thursday.

Wednesday night’s dinner will probably be pizza or Chinese delivery. The oven and the stove will be in use and besides, I don’t want to cook Wednesday’s dinner on top of cooking everything else.

I’m trying a new cranberry sauce recipe this year. In the saucepan go the requisite pound of fresh whole cranberries, a can of diced/crushed mandarin oranges, and for the liquid high-pulp orange juice, the juice from the mandarin oranges, and a splash of Grand Marnier, which was a suggestion from Chefguy a year or three ago that I never got around to trying before now. I’ll use a 50/50 mix of brown sugar and white sugar to sweeten it up. If it’s a total bomb I do have a can of Ocean Spray whole berry sauce buried in the pantry somewhere that will save the day. But I think my sauce (I guess it’ll be more of a cranberry/orange relish) will come out good.

Also Wednesday night, in a vain effort to remind myself that things could be worse, I’ll watch Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Thursday night, after we get back from the chaos at the in-laws, my wife and I will likely watch Home for the Holidays. She likes that one and it’s become a Thanksgiving tradition of sorts. Then we’ll wait a week or two before kicking off the Christmas season with Die Hard.

My wife will want the Christmas trees (yes, plural) put up and decorated this weekend. Luckily I have a lunch date on Sunday so I might be able to escape an afternoon of being assigned her gofer.

Despite my frustrations with my in-laws and the entire ritualistic performance that Thanksgiving has become in their family, there’s a lot to be grateful for this year. My mom passed away in September and I’ve been dealing with a lot of residual anger/frustration/sadness from that but I find that if I stop and really ponder life’s blessings I realize that I’m doing ok – better than ok, really. I have good, kind, and hard-working kids, a wonderful wife who for some unfathomable reason still puts up with me, a comfortable home that’s in good repair and that I can afford, a reliable if ugly car, a secure job that I enjoy and that pays well enough and has good benefits, and dog that doesn’t annoy the neighbors. I’m finding pleasure in simple things: discovering a new podcast or YouTube channel, for instance. Or trying a new recipe. Covid sucked and did a lot of damage to my mental health but I’ve crawled back up from the worst of it and I’m thankful for that, even though it’s taken a good long while there’s still progress to be made. I’ll be traveling to Montana in May to spread my mom’s ashes at the family cemetery northwest of Havre (waves to Aspenglow) and, amazingly, I’m even thankful for that – it was mom’s wish, something she discussed with me on one of the last conversations I had with her, when neither of us knew her final day was so close.

So this Thanksgiving, when the last vestiges of the pandemic are behind (hopefully) most of us and life has returned to mostly normal (for certain values of normal, I suppose), I’m thankful for a lot, grateful for much more, and hopeful about even more. Thus I raise a glass to enduring life’s challenges and I hope that all of you Dopers out there are enjoying family, friends, and above all, contentment.

Now then. What’s on your plate this week, literally and figuratively?

2

Nothing nearly so dramatic. Thank goodness.

My new wife’s daughter lives nearby. She is a full–time foster Mom with one adopted kid and up to 6 fosters, totalling 7. The fosters turn over slowly but continuously and this will be our first holiday with some of them. The eldest of the current crew is in kindergarten this year. To say things are noisy chaos at her house is a gross understatement. But it’s a joyous noise, with only a little crying now and then, and most of that from the adults.

The usual process is Daughter procures most of the feast ingredients, with us batting cleanup for any last minute oversights. Then on the morning of, we drive over there. And in the chaotic, cramped, and ill-equipped kitchen that usually heats chicken nuggets & makes PB sandwiches my wife (Daughter’s Mom) creates a complete traditional feast from raw. My job is usually to ride herd on the older kids, while Daughter tends to any infants.

This year we’re looking at easy. She’s only got 5 kids, rather than 7, and everybody is age almost 3 to 5. Not exactly talking well, but they can listen and sorta obey / behave a little. Some. Everybody knows which end of the fork goes in their face. They don’t always do it right, but they do know the difference.

Once wife has created the complete feast, dinner is served. So turkey, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, regular and sweet potatoes, at least 1 green veg, and salad plus dinner rolls. All on paper plates with plastic utensils. And 7 color-coded sippy cups. The kids each eat about 6 dinner rolls, take a bite of potatoes, and skip everything else on their plate. The older ones are sometimes more adventurous and will eat turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce too; I’m not sure about this week’s 5yo but hope springs eternal.

Then the house-wide mayhem of carb-fueled kidly excitement resumes until it’s time for dessert an hour or two later: 2 or 3 store-bought pies. The kids love that part.

Eventually we go home. Usually not a word is said on the drive back; the silence is too precious to waste. Once home a stiff drink is enjoyed.

Lots to be thankful for there. We’re all healthy, we’re all happy, we all get along, and our retirement is very nice. Anyone who was in bad shape has since died, so there’s not much stress on our horizon. Yet.

3

Me and my man are getting dinners delivered from a church. Though I am getting and making banana nilla pudding.

4

Our household of three, God have mercy on our souls, is flying from Albuquerque to Detroit tomorrow to have Thanksgiving with my older daughter and son-in-law. I’m determined to help this first Thanksgiving they’ve ever hosted as fun and relaxed as possible, mainly by not getting rigid or bossy or trying to take anything over (I’m told those are things I do when I’m feeling stressed).

I don’t know what time dinner will be or what we’ll be having or who’s coming, and that’s okay! For our usual family Thanksgivings, my brother makes the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy, and I bring side dishes, rolls, and pies. For this one, I’ll offer to make pies and rolls if they want me to, and I’m taking pictures of our family recipes for the inevitable moment when someone wants to make a traditional dish but can’t remember exactly what goes in it.

We all have a lot to be thankful for. Mr. Legend’s treatment regimen has been keeping his cancer at bay for over two years now, and his health hasn’t been declining. We get to be with both our kids for Thanksgiving and Christmas (we usually have to share holiday visits with my son-in-law’s parents). We have everything we need and most things we want, which is the definition of prosperity.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

5

Thanksgiving is historically a difficult time for me, which resulted in me taking an annual trek to see my beloved Aunt in Illinois, the one person who truly understands what kinds of feelings this time of year brings up.

This has become our Thanksgiving tradition, and now that I have a son, a great deal of time and energy goes into trying to give him as many fun experiences with his relatives as possible.

It’s as low key as one can imagine. My family of three, my Aunt, her husband, and my elderly grandmother who lives next door. No big turkey, nothing stressful, this year we’re going with ham and (possibly) Costco mashed potatoes because my Aunt isn’t feeling that well.

We will be baking cookies with my son. There will probably be board games. We might pet a reindeer.

For me, it’s perfect. I never feel more complete than I do just hanging out with my favorite people, laughing and making memories. My grandmother won’t be around forever so it’s poignant to see how much my son loves her and enjoys spending time with her.

It’s also hard because my mother isn’t there, and can’t be there, and I grieve that. All three of us had to terminate that relationship for various reasons.

But this is a safe place to feel ALL the feelings.

My vacation starts tomorrow because I went and took a whole week off of work, so I’m getting downtime before we travel. I’m planning to spend the days off reading and writing, maybe doing a puzzle, trying to avoid the Internet and responsibility and just allowing myself to be.

Since I’m sick, my husband even offered to get our son ready for school, so I can sleep in tomorrow! My husband and I have been run ragged dealing with a slew of medical appointments and arranging things for my son’s therapy, followed by an ill-timed and stressful attempt at potty training this weekend.

I think this is going to a restorative break.

6

I’d say that Thanksgiving dinner happens whatever time Lancia decides to show up!

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Thank you so much for doing that for your local families, I know that it is helpful.

I am a retired food stamp worker and have spoken to many food insecure and homeless folks in my time.

Something I always try to include in my donations is a case or so of disposable salt and pepper shakers, like these. Small bottles of Tabasco sauce tend to be prized as well.

Just a suggestion for the future, and again, thank you for doing what you can to help make things a little nicer for the less fortunate.

8

One of the last things on my list I needed to get was fresh cranberries. They used to come in 1 pound packages but when I went to the store yesterday I find they’re now 12 ounce packages. Grrr…

9

Mom hosts Thanksgiving, and she’s got covid, so we’re going to skip it this year. I’m going to get my booster shot on Wednesday, so my plan is to lie around and hopefully not feel too crappy.

10

My sister and BIL are hosting, as they have the most space and this year a lot of family will be together. But it will be Saturday instead of Thursday as sis will be with BIL’s family on the day, and since our side will also find it easier to come on the weekend. There will be turkey of course, and my BIL does the best mashed potatoes. I’ll bring pumpkin pie, dinner rolls, and, as an alternate meat, a sauerbraten. I made it in June, and sister loved it. She likes German food and June was her birthday. The rest of the family will be doing the usual by bringing their favorite/usual dishes. Thanksgiving proves to me the NT miracle of the loaves and fish. We bring a LOT of food and there’s always enough for leftover meals afterwards. I look forward to this. The strange thing is that with one exception I will be the oldest person there. My aunt is the last of the previous generation. Aren’t I supposed to be one of the kids, running around in the basement and making noise?

11

I’m already up & working on it. New tradition is diner with my out-of-towner later, & then smoking my turkey for family dinner tomorrow

12

Three hopefully four of us are going to a really good Mexican restaurant. I feel sorry for the people working, but maybe they are getting time and a half or something. In any case, they will get one hell of a tip.

13

Anyone else celebrate thanksgiving eve as a drinking holiday? We always go out for drinks thanksgiving eve and easter eve and the breweries and bars are crowded.

I didn’t love big crowds before COVID and I dislike them even more now. On a positive note, a friend of ours is currently unable to drink alcohol, so he chauffeured us in exchange for our company.

14

Only every college kid in America.

Our Thanksgiving meal will be at a Waffle House in Valdosta, GA after the Lions game. We’re visiting my in-laws and my bil has to work today, so the official feast will be tomorrow.

15

Well, I tried Chefguy’s suggestion of adding Grand Marnier to the cranberry sauce and I must say it does add a bit of depth to the sauce. However, the bottle was $25 so I won’t be repeating the recipe next year unless my MIL specifically requests this particular version.

My wife did the cookies and the apple pies last night and early this morning I pulled the turkey out of the brine, gave it a good rinse, and put it in the roasting oven with some wine and chicken stock. It’s been in for about an hour and a half now and the house is starting to smell divine.

Nobody knows if anyone is bringing the deviled eggs so I’m going to assume nobody will be. Its too late to get a couple dozen eggs, so I guess we’ll go without.

16

Currently making a cranberry/orange compote to go with a baked brie. Braved Costco yesterday which was everything you would expect, but at least they deal with the crowds well. Heading over the pass to Livingston for a late dinner with friends. Got my knee brace unlocked by the surgeon yesterday, so cause for celebration. Was supposed to be snowing which can make that drive dicey, but the storm went south. VERY mild fall in Montana (which, selfishly, is nice when you’re injured, but not so nice for my ski buddies).

17

Just turned over the roast in the marinade, as I mentioned the prep upthread. Today is mostly sloth for me, although I do have a loaf of bread, for myself, rising. This evening I’ll probably make the dough for the dinner rolls. Then, as I did at work, I’ll roll up the dough balls and chill them, bakin them tomorrow night. I’ll also finish the roast and bake the pie tomorrow, and the sauce for the roast can be done early Saturday, before I take the stuff to my sister’s house. I’ll be going there Friday as well, to help her is some of the prep.

18

I’m hosting several local friends tomorrow, so today is advance prep; which will be partially interrupted by a zoom with my family.

19

Well, I was really looking forward to seeing my Aunt for Thanksgiving, but my boy is sick, so we had to cancel. I don’t get to see her much, so this is sad. She is my best friend.

We are making the best of it, just the three of us. Both Wee Weasel and I are getting over being sick - he was inconsolable last night, but seems to be doing better today.

We’re just doing quiet family time which I guess we really needed anyway. This morning I had cheesecake for breakfast, we watched Paddington which was really cute.

My husband gave me my Christmas present early to cheer me up. It’s a puzzle he removed from the box so I have no idea what the image is. Something with tentacles, I imagine.

I had some Cornish game hens in the freezer so I decided to cook those today with some mashed potatoes and gravy.

Very simple, and by that token, very restful.

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Please don’t judge me but since I’m home alone today I have the TV on and am watching the first two Sharknado movies, onthe SyFy channel. They are a guilty pleasure, especially the second one.