Honey, checked our shitters lately?
The tuba version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer that is played in that scene is so goddamned funny! I have tried in vain to find it but, oh no. Not to be.
That version of the song is exactly what plays in my head when I am hungover Xmas mornings.
We watch this every Christmas Eve.
Best rant ever.
Nah, the one by Major Charles Emerson Winchester, the Third, when he tells Colonel Potter he must leave this “festering, fetid sewer” ranks up there with the best of rants!
~VOW
The song is on the soundtrack with the title “Shitter Was Full”. You’re welcome!
Hilarious!
I watched it again last night. I do love this movie. I had tears in my eyes for much of it, even the lame ABC Family edited version. There are so many great scenes.
“Sweetheart, your grandma Nora’s got a real painful burr on my heel. If you rub it for me, I’ll give you a whole quarter. Okay?”
Clark climbing the ladder and hanging the lights.
Clark actually got everyone drumrolling during the failed lighting ceremony.
The hysterical swinging window in the attic that hits Clark’s head when hit hits it. Bumbling dad move.
Grandma: Oh my gosh, her eys aren’t crossed anymore.
Eddie: That’s something ain’t it? She falls in a well, eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule, they go back to normal. I don’t know.
I had to leave the room for the awkward tit nippley scene, I was laughing so hard. And no one else is here! Chevy masters this part and now it has entered our national lexicon.
The animated opening credit sequence is dumb and the drive to the tree place is kinda dumb, too.
This is one of the things I love about this movie - that it takes place in a world where denying a Christmas bonus is considered a faux pas beneath even the stingiest of bosses.
And where being denied a Christmas bonus is apparently a legitimate reason to beat your boss with a rubber hose. 
“Look, kids, a deer!” as Clark is flipping off another driver. We have a lot of deer in our area. We say this a lot on the road.
We also watch this every Christmas Eve. Right after church. Amen!
Clark getting smacked in the face with the attic ladder.
Clark falling from the attic when the door is opened.
Classic Chase slapstick.
My family and I can pretty much quote the entire movie. My cousin even has a Cousin-Eddie Santa Claus hat. My uncle also has a set of the moose glasses.
“Aunt Bethany, does your cat eat jello?”
“Rocky bit my thumb. Him’s nervous because Christmas is almost here.”
“Nervous or excited?”
“Shittin’ bricks.”
“You shouldn’t use that word.”
“Sorry. Shittin’ rocks.”
“They had to replace my metal plate with a plastic one. Every time Catherine would rev up the microwave, I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour.”
“Hey Griswold. Where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?”
“Bend over and I’ll show you.”
“You’ve got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.”
“I wasn’t talking to you.”
“Get me someone. Anyone! And get me someone while I’m waiting!”
“Surprised Eddie?.. If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.”
“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.”
(When I was in high school, they always showed a movie in the auditorium on the last day of school before well, Christmas vacation. This was the one they showed when I as a freshman)
Try and catch it on Comedy Central. They out the muffle the swears, which isn’t the same, but it’s better than substituting them.
Clark: My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain…
Eddie: I appreciate that, Clark
Better version. Narrated by Martin Short.
I also love the sad little rendition of Come All Ye Faithful that plays as the family is driving away with the Christmas tree, roots and all, strapped to the roof of their station wagon.
I always look forward to the dry-turkey eating scene; just watching everyone’s faces as they try to chew it gets me every time.
mmm
Just watched this last night on ABC Family. I love the look of dread that comes over Ellen’s face when Clark tells her that his “bonus” is a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club. She knows that he’s about to lose his shit, and that it’s going to be really ugly.