Over in this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=113635, MagicalSilverKey has gone off on a quest to find what’s inside a mysterious box.
While we’re waiting for him to come back, I thought it’d be fun to guess exactly what’s in that thing. There is no prize, but won’t you feel good for guessing right?
My prediction: old laundry.
Oooh! Can I be The Lovely Carol Merrill?
If it says pineapples, then it’s filled with pineapples, by God.
No…everybody knows that’s not true. My guess: eggs. But if it’s a severed head, I’m going to be very upset.
Schroedinger’s cat.
Darn, the OP already mentioned Se7en.
Nothing! Nothing is in the box! You so stupahd!
(Anyone else like “UHF”? :D)
Actually, after reading that thread I think inside the box is Billy Rubin holding a brick.
I think it’s one of the SDMB White Elephant packages gone astray.
My first wife.
Opps. Said too much.
Atoms.
Jimmy Hoffa.
Pain.
Hey!!! I have been so damn busy lately, I have not been able to check in to the boards for a while.
So, y’all wanna know what’s in The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road®, eh?
First off, I should let you know that TMBBTSOTR® still exists! I thought it was gone, but apparently, after over a year of sitting idle in the exact same spot, it decided to go for a hike. It now rests about 100 yards east of the original spot it had been.
It is weatherbeaten, sun-bleached, wrinkled, and squashed up against some heavy brush in a small ditch. The overgrowth camoflages about half of it. It could possibly still have something inside, although it seems unlikely. I have not yet made any attempt to actually approach / examine it, on foot.
As for TMBBTSOTR JR®, I won’t have any need to be travelling down that road anymore, because my friend who lived in that direction, has moved.
Disclaimer: The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road®, and The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road Junior®, do not enable user to fly. Do not eat 2 hours prior to opening The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road®, or The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road® Junior, as contents may cause nausea and vomiting and abdominal distention. Do not use The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road® or The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road® Junior, if you are taking an MOAI inhibitor or have asthma. Adverse side affects in males may include permanent erection, priapism, and / or Peter North syndrome. In females, The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road®, and The Mysterious Box by the Side of the Road® Junior, may induce early menopause, psychic orgasms, and tantric delusion.
Well, BlackKnight stole my answer (damn you), so I’m going to guess… uhm… another box? And inside that box… another box? And so on, and so on, for eternity, until you find a subatomic door to another universe where you awaken to find yourself inside a box… after leaving that box, you find yourself inside another box…
Man, that’s a creepy though.
Dangit, I’ll be back in Michigan in 3 months. If you and the box can wait that long, I’ll come out to Mishawaka and open the thing myself.
“It’s just a piece of string, Patrick.”
“Yes, but a Secret piece of string, SpongeBob!”
I vote for Jack Dean Tyler’s foreskin.
That would explain sooooo much…
One mysterious vat of goat semen?